Long time reader 1st time whiner

[Nvbrkdwnfrmnun2dun]

Well, 38 years old. 15 years ago quit recreational drug use joined the army and started what would be 12 years of never looking back to meth. Fast forward. 10 years ago (year 5 of sobriety) met the girl of my deams took her away from what took her home away and replaced it with a 8x8 cell. Started raising her 3 beautiful girla as mybl own and lived hapily ever after.......oh except for 2 years ago after a cheat. A lie...realization that lies were always there. Took it like a man... kept to my carpet busines. At least there im the boss. Work was my happy place. Unfortunatly home with me wasnt hers. Ok i got this. Never had problems with breakups. Another lie, what..wqit...wheres she... your leaving me..... alone in a 5 bedroom house. In our middle daughters room ... installing floors ibhave prety strong legs but not that day. Buckled right in her doorway. Self destruct. 12 years gone im high. Narsasistic games fucked me up but my choice..... lost nothing. Gave up workk. Always have that. Nervous breakdown. Pictures of that guy this guy. Sex games . Sick just sick.followed now im here next to her. Heroin is what i came to take her qway from, she was self destructing. More sick games and now i look at my track marks. Grandparents that raised me both dying and instead of being there im in a race to go that way myself. All happened so fast. Cant go forward. No closure only regret. What happened. When did i become weak. Dependent. Hot on bl cuz swim took a hit of h swim found on the floor and instantly got a sore throat, wheezing, hot itchy . Instantly. Couldnt find anything where the throat closed and hurts like that. Took benedryl almost gone. I think

 

[Bearlove]

Wow what a ride - time to dust yourself of and try again though. You hid a crossroad and you survived to tell the tell so take this opportunity in giving yourself a break, taking stock of what you have and move forward slowly.

You did it once, you can do it again. If the relationship you have with the woman is that toxic then get out of it and look after yourself as a priority.

Good luck