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Long Time Lurker; First Time Poster

PopsicleAndSnocone

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 22, 2022
Messages
16
I am a middle aged NB person. I have been doing drugs on and off since 16. I became homeless at 16, coincidentally... So infer what you will here. (My mom decided she didn't want anyone living with her since I had been back two weeks after 4 years at a "boarding school" for "kids with issues". )
I was born w/ cerebral palsy. So there's that also.

I have been mostly clean off heroin for a couple of years, but have had stints of being clean for up to 5 years at a time.

I'm currently being prescribed methadone (was at a clinic, now private Dr. I am allowed due to being fully disabled) was on 75mg. in September. Am on 10mg now in Feb 2022.

Am on remeron and having withdrawals due to a raise in my dosage from 30mg to 45mg. It literally broke my brain. I went off for 9 days. During that time I had mild visual hallucinations and auditory hallucinations. My Central Nervous System (CNS) was shuddering and shaking uncontrollably during that time. Night sweats, appetite changes, pretty much all the symptoms from sudden remeron withdrawals. I had a stash of kpins from a former legitimate script (which was stopped when I got back on methadone. Dr says will re-prescribe when I'm fully off methadone. I'm fine with that.)

However to stop the worst of the remeron withdrawals I started taking 0.5 kpin a day to be able to sleep and eat. I talked to my GP about it and they said being that I'm on such a low dose of the methadone and that I have a tolerance from the much higher previous dose of methadone, that they didn't see a problem with it. I wasn't experiencing any sedation from either (previous kpin dose 2-3mg for years).

However, I would like to try and stop the benzos because I will have to see the pain Dr in March. So far if I don't take it, I can't sleep and the CNS shuddering and shaking comes back. Kratom helps temporarily but I'm not taking it every day as I kinda want to use it only if I absolutely need to. (1/2gr at a time 2x per day on the days I am taking it. Red strains like Bali and Kali.)

Any suggestions? Every day I feel achy and awful even with 15mg remeron (because I had no choice to take it after 9 days of hell)... And the kpins. Could theoretically take more methadone since the script is written for 20mg per day. I really am trying to do the right thing here though.
Ugh. Anyway hi.
 
Hi there. I love your user name. Welcome to Bluelight.

I don't have any experience with remeron and I am sorry to hear that all this shuddering and shaking is due to discontinuing that. Is remeron a med for depression? Pardon my ignorance on it.

.05 mgs of kpin is a very low dose. Especially only once a day. Glad it helps you sleep. So you want to be off of it totally ? Half of a gram of kratom is only one capsule. So for a whole day ( when you take it ) you only consume 1 gram?

As for the methadone. You are prescribed 20 mgs a day? Do you want to continue with it or get off of that too?

What is your end goal here? In a perfect world what meds would you only be taking on a daily basis?

Sorry for all the questions. Just not real sure what you want to be totally free of and what you would like to be on. And again, welcome to Bluelight,:Mario party:
 
Yes. I used to take much higher doses of the Kratom (2-2.5mg over the course of the day usually 2x). However, I know what kratom wd feels like and it's not fun for me.
Remeron (mirtzapine) is an atypical antidepressant that has some effect on histamine. (Prolly not only histamine. However, it does affect it and it was prescribed as a way to help me sleep while I couldn't legally take kpins (due to the methadone).
Doses up to 30mg work. 45 broke me though. I'm atypical myself due to the cerebral palsy on my right side. So sometimes drugs have odd effects and I've "broken"meds before. (read: no longer works effectively or at all anymore before.)
I'm currently at one 10mg methadone pill in the AM (around 7am), taking Rheumatoid arthritis meds (sulfasalazine and hydrochloriquine 2x per day). I take one 15mg piece (30mg pill using a pill splitter. This type of pill is allowed to be split using a pill splitter. ). At night one hour before bed.
I take 1mg kpin (1/2 a 2mg clonazepam) in the afternoon (1-2pm). I'm hesitant to take the kpin with the remeron though I've done it once or twice. Just leaves me a little groggy in the morning. I'm waiting to see my psychiatrist later this month. Need to be safely tapered off the remeron. Those hallucinations were NOT fun. (I knew they weren't real. Still crappy to go thru).
I'm debating taking a bit of kratom again today. I took about 0.5 g last night.... Just wanna be sparing with it so it will work well when I need it to.
I'm debating trying to go thru the benzos WD because well technically I'm not supposed to be on them and the methadone at the same time. But all the benzos really do is improve my sleep at night, let me eat and stop that gods awful CNS shaking and shuddering. It's like my spine switched places with a bucking bronco. Thank you for your reply. I hope I answered your questions.
 
I eventually want to be off the methadone. If I continue at 2.5mg (one quarter of a 10mg pill) every other week I could be off in a couple months. Possibly before my next pain Dr appointment. I also take less than what the script is written for so I have extra that I can use to take my time as I taper down. I tend to hoard a bit so I have backups if I ever need them. Still try to be responsible.
Eventually I want to be off methadone.
Back on kpins. Get the remeron the hell away from me. That shit is awful FOR ME. (if it works for others well then I'm happy for them)
 
When my state finally gets itself together with the medical marijuana law it recently passed. I'll probably be eligible for that as well. Given my cerebral palsy, rheumatoid arthritis and generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and issues with high pressure in my eyes (not technically diagnosed as glaucoma though yet)
 
Sorry if my replies/posts are hard to read. I'm shaking slightly even with the 15mg remeron and my thoughts are jumbled due to feeling like absolute crap. (Achy, hot, cold, no temp regulation (methadone prolly there); shaky (remeron).... Also generally achy from my RA (which is a whole separate type of achy. I can totally tell the difference between the methadone ache and the RA ache)
 
Welcome to BL, friend!

You might consider posting this again over in Other Drugs or Mental Health forums, you will get additional responses from more people.

Im sorry you're dealing with this, sounds awful :(

Is your immediate goal here to get through/mitigate remeron withdrawal?
 
Welcome to BL, friend!

You might consider posting this again over in Other Drugs or Mental Health forums, you will get additional responses from more people.

Im sorry you're dealing with this, sounds awful :(

Is your immediate goal here to get through/mitigate remeron withdrawal?
Pretty much. Yes. The remeron is wreaking havoc with my already screwed up CNS (cerebral palsy).... So yeah. That's about it. I'm stable on the methadone, and taking the kpins to repress the awful shuddering and shaking.... Also helps with sleep at the moment
 
I am a middle aged NB person. I have been doing drugs on and off since 16. I became homeless at 16, coincidentally... So infer what you will here. (My mom decided she didn't want anyone living with her since I had been back two weeks after 4 years at a "boarding school" for "kids with issues". )
I was born w/ cerebral palsy. So there's that also.

I have been mostly clean off heroin for a couple of years, but have had stints of being clean for up to 5 years at a time.

I'm currently being prescribed methadone (was at a clinic, now private Dr. I am allowed due to being fully disabled) was on 75mg. in September. Am on 10mg now in Feb 2022.

Am on remeron and having withdrawals due to a raise in my dosage from 30mg to 45mg. It literally broke my brain. I went off for 9 days. During that time I had mild visual hallucinations and auditory hallucinations. My Central Nervous System (CNS) was shuddering and shaking uncontrollably during that time. Night sweats, appetite changes, pretty much all the symptoms from sudden remeron withdrawals. I had a stash of kpins from a former legitimate script (which was stopped when I got back on methadone. Dr says will re-prescribe when I'm fully off methadone. I'm fine with that.)

However to stop the worst of the remeron withdrawals I started taking 0.5 kpin a day to be able to sleep and eat. I talked to my GP about it and they said being that I'm on such a low dose of the methadone and that I have a tolerance from the much higher previous dose of methadone, that they didn't see a problem with it. I wasn't experiencing any sedation from either (previous kpin dose 2-3mg for years).

However, I would like to try and stop the benzos because I will have to see the pain Dr in March. So far if I don't take it, I can't sleep and the CNS shuddering and shaking comes back. Kratom helps temporarily but I'm not taking it every day as I kinda want to use it only if I absolutely need to. (1/2gr at a time 2x per day on the days I am taking it. Red strains like Bali and Kali.)

Any suggestions? Every day I feel achy and awful even with 15mg remeron (because I had no choice to take it after 9 days of hell)... And the kpins. Could theoretically take more methadone since the script is written for 20mg per day. I really am trying to do the right thing here though.
Ugh. Anyway hi.
I have also been a long time lurker! Welcome!
 
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