Long Term Relationship Advice

[pokepoke420]

dff

 

[Mysterie]

i think you love her, more than she loves you

i would stop thinking about her, its easy to remember the good bits of the past and forget about the bad parts

so many fish in the sea who will treat you with more respect than her

although i think she lost trust in you after cheating and breakups

being a romantic isnt gd and neither is pragmatism in relationships try be somewhere in between

 

[iheartthisthread]

Yeah, that's a shitty deal man. One thing I can tell you is if you guys started over, it wouldn't be the same. Having this sort of thing over both your heads wouldn't lead to a happy relationship.

Learn from it. Remember though, not every woman cheats. A new woman deserves trust right from the begining otherwise you are making her "earn" trust for something that the other woman did. It can be hard but that is just how it is. Hope when you are ready, she falls in your lap. Good luck.

 

[Bearlove]

Do you not think you love her more than you actually do ?

You were cheating on her - she cheated on you as revenge
You wanted a break after 5 years but decided it was better to be with her than be alone
She was cheating on you and wanted to move on
You didn't want her as much as thought you needed her
5 years on your back to where you were before you wanted a break - bored, closed off and resenting all the shit that has happened.

What do you really want? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person who you seem almost bored of ('infatuation ran thin, and the dust settled') -IF you do and you can stop this cycle then go for it, put the past in the past, open yourself up to her, do not make her struggle for your affection (love isn't like that).

If your unsure, if your bored and your simply want to be with her because you need her then do both of you a favor and and trust andmove on - let her find somebody who is willing to let her love them and in turn somebody who will love her. Same applies to you - find somebody you love who doesn't have the problems which you feel are holding you back.

You may feel somewhat dependent on her more than actually loving her.

 

[pokepoke420]

Do you not think you love her more than you actually do ?

You were cheating on her - she cheated on you as revenge
You wanted a break after 5 years but decided it was better to be with her than be alone
She was cheating on you and wanted to move on
You didn't want her as much as thought you needed her
5 years on your back to where you were before you wanted a break - bored, closed off and resenting all the shit that has happened.

What do you really want? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person who you seem almost bored of ('infatuation ran thin, and the dust settled') -IF you do and you can stop this cycle then go for it, put the past in the past, open yourself up to her, do not make her struggle for your affection (love isn't like that).

If your unsure, if your bored and your simply want to be with her because you need her then do both of you a favor and and trust andmove on - let her find somebody who is willing to let her love them and in turn somebody who will love her. Same applies to you - find somebody you love who doesn't have the problems which you feel are holding you back.

You may feel somewhat dependent on her more than actually loving her.

This was probably the best advice, and best way to break it down for me. Thanks Bear, that actually really helped. Just viewing it from a different perspective, because clearly I was lost in my own.