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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Long term opiate cravings?

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PagingDrFeelgood

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 18, 2013
Messages
18
Location
Australia
Okay, so here goes, I have a physical disability called cerebral palsy, which resulted in me needing a lot of operations when I was a kid, and therefore was on opiates on and for serveral times for the pain (I once had multi level). Around 14/15 I realised not only did it make the pain go away, but I liked the feeling it gave me, a lot. I'd go through withdrawals everytime due to the length of time the doctors recommended I was to be on them, but it was a love affair.

I had my last operation when I was 16 (i'm 20 now) but never forgot the feeling that it gave me, and always wished I was back on them <snip> I didn't touch them again until late last year when I managed to get an oxy, just one, and I fell in love all over again, but my contact fell through due to personal issues between us.

Around the same time I was diagnoised with early onset osteo arithitis due to the disability and was in excuriating pain, I couldn't even stand up, I started to abuse those and got high. When I finished the script I came off them with no withdrawal whatsoever.

The pain settled down, and after a nightmare with bacofen, and switched to dantrium it settled down, but has since flared up again over the last few weeks, i'm having trouble sleeping, it's there when I wake up and there all day and i'm sick of it, but i'm worried if I do get put on something stronger I could start using again to get high, but i'm in so much pain now it's becoming unbearable and i'm reaching my max amount of dantrium and still realy sore, if I do get put on stronger meds is there something I can do to stop the urge to use?

I also have depression being treated with daily prozac and I also have anxiety.

Any advice would be appreciated.
 
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Hi PagingDrFeelgood,

I find myself with a similar challenge, I've been almost constantly on pain medication since having a road accident nearly 2 years ago. I've had a number of drug abuse issues so I know I'm prone to that type of behaviour so I do discuss those concerns with my doctor.

I don't source any meds illicitly so I'm limited by my prescription, I also try and go a couple of days with no meds every month, although that is becoming more difficult due to increasing pain whilst I wait on further ops.

Some level of dependence is difficult to avoid, these meds relieve your pain and, in many cases are intrinsically habit forming. The physical dependence is not necessarily a huge problem as tapering off such medication should minimise discomfort. The psychological side may be more of an issue if you start to use the medication primarily to get high.

Are you able to discuss your concerns with your doctor ?
 
Hi Allein, thanks for the reply, I agree that being in pain while waiting for ops, I think that the psychological side is definitely more problematic, that and the fact that humans are biologically wired with opiate receptors in the brain. I feel that I probably would be able to taper off etc, although i'm a little worried because I did manage to find a source over the weekend and will most likely be meeting with them today, and even though there could be barriars to that (eg getting out of parents house with a reasonable excuse, i'm with them till march) I could overcome that if I really really wanted to, and I want to do this today, partly to relieve my pain, partly to get high, i'm too scared to tell anyone for fear of being judged. I feel weak
 
tricky situation.
in the long run these meds lose effect and u need more and more and more.
you probably know this.

with added anxiety it makes it even worse.

maybe talk to doc and tell him u crave the relief and that u made plans to hook up?
be honest.and of course,cancel thursday,you can get your shit the legal way
with your condition.just say and act and do the "right"things and you'll have relief
soon.don't go to the street.

whatever u do,don't get into the street scene w heroin and crack.

wishing you all the best.from her to eternity.
 
OP, how are your parents in all this? I would hope that they would be educated about the dependence that was bound to take place and are sympathetic to your struggle. Do you have good communication with them? It sounds like you are really struggling in yourself--needing relief for the pain but knowing it is going beyond that. That struggle is so hard to maintain on your own without outside support of some kind. I think the more you can be honest about the struggle (with your doctor, your parents, friends, etc) the more you can maintain the strength to be honest with yourself. Props to you for coming here and putting the struggle into words.
 
Thanks for everyone's responses, I can't tell my mum because she will judge me immensely, there's only two friends I can really talk to about this, and one of them has shut me down from me for a little while because of my depression levels at the moment, my other friends (haha, like they are even there when I need them?) would never understand anything like this because they are so judgemental of any drug use, even the occasional joint that they would just judge me straight away, I don't feel like I can tell my doctor because then she might not give me the meds when I do end up really really[/I] needing them. The last time I spoke to my source was late last night, I haven't heard from him today yet, even though I texted him, so I don't know if our meeting tomorrow is still on, persuming from what we spoke about last night it is, some sick sick part of me can't wait for tomorrow and needs him to show up, I guess I should be grateful for the fact that my pain level today is practically non exsistent....
 
I'm sad to say yesterday I relapsed, I met my source yesterday and now have 11 oxycodiene, (I used one yesterday) and it's going to be a struggle to keep myself under control, because although he promises he can get me more in the future in the long term and part of me hopes it to be a lie, because I know how deep I can slip, and I think my mum is already suss as she came home from work yesterday and I was a bit out of it, she asked me how much dantrium i'd taken (for which I have a legal perscription for, and which on occasion for can make me a bit out of) I said one and then slept for four hours. Surprisingly it didn't take away all my pain, and I go back to the doctor's on Monday, so we will see how that goes
 
most of us relapse many times on our way to permanent recovery.
the fight is not lost.

but please,go legal and get away from sources and shady characters up to no good.
these kinds of people are not your friends.
they will hurt you in the long run.

whats done is done,you lapsed,have some OC's…….
tell your mom and get help before it's really too late.
that's just my suggestion.

massive luck.
 
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