ivyleaguebitch
Greenlighter
So i've been a long time lurker and joined a couple months ago but never got around to writing an introduction until now. Most of the delay i can blame on being stuck in rehab for the last 10 weeks though...at least i wasn't too terribly deprived of drug discussion there, even without bluelight.
Anyway... a little bit about me. My father is a doctor who, ever since I can remember, has advocated pills as the solution to everything and anything. For any given problem, there's a pill that will fix it - that's what I grew up being told. And by the time I'd reached my early teens, it had become clear to my father that I had a whole bucket of problems that needed fixing. So off I was carted to a psychiatrist with a pen and a prescription pad - the first of many to come. I don't think I actually had any problems other than the normal teenage confusion and self-consciousness that all my friends were going through as well. But I had a dad who was gung-ho about prescription drugs and - shhhhh - had no ethical issues with prescribing himself and his family controlled substances either. Anyway to cut a long story short, I soon came to learn that all the benzos that I was getting prescribed to help calm me down and all the Ambien I was meant to take when I couldn't sleep, were stuff that apparently alot of people had fun with. And so I started using and the amounts became more excessive and then I think I actually did have some real problems. My dad's answer? More psychiatrists! So I got told that I definitely had ADHD and probably I was bipolar and, here you go, have another handful of pills.
Although I do use illegal drugs sometimes, I've far more caught up with all my prescription ones. I've learned the art of doctor shopping, of sitting on couches and conning psychiatrists; I know the DSM-IV like most pastors know the Bible. It's a problem obviously and alot of it is my own damn fault. But I can't help but feel that if I weren't for my father, none of this would ever have started. I don't know. It's tough.
It's tough when you can't remember a time you've been just 'normal', not medicate or medicating, not sure who you even are without all the drugs. It's tough when you feel like, 'well, maybe I like it this way.' Maybe I don't want to find me, maybe you should just give me all the drugs already!!!
Anyway this is over long already but I'm looking forward to meeting people who use this community. Feel free to shoot me a message anytime!
Anyway... a little bit about me. My father is a doctor who, ever since I can remember, has advocated pills as the solution to everything and anything. For any given problem, there's a pill that will fix it - that's what I grew up being told. And by the time I'd reached my early teens, it had become clear to my father that I had a whole bucket of problems that needed fixing. So off I was carted to a psychiatrist with a pen and a prescription pad - the first of many to come. I don't think I actually had any problems other than the normal teenage confusion and self-consciousness that all my friends were going through as well. But I had a dad who was gung-ho about prescription drugs and - shhhhh - had no ethical issues with prescribing himself and his family controlled substances either. Anyway to cut a long story short, I soon came to learn that all the benzos that I was getting prescribed to help calm me down and all the Ambien I was meant to take when I couldn't sleep, were stuff that apparently alot of people had fun with. And so I started using and the amounts became more excessive and then I think I actually did have some real problems. My dad's answer? More psychiatrists! So I got told that I definitely had ADHD and probably I was bipolar and, here you go, have another handful of pills.
Although I do use illegal drugs sometimes, I've far more caught up with all my prescription ones. I've learned the art of doctor shopping, of sitting on couches and conning psychiatrists; I know the DSM-IV like most pastors know the Bible. It's a problem obviously and alot of it is my own damn fault. But I can't help but feel that if I weren't for my father, none of this would ever have started. I don't know. It's tough.
It's tough when you can't remember a time you've been just 'normal', not medicate or medicating, not sure who you even are without all the drugs. It's tough when you feel like, 'well, maybe I like it this way.' Maybe I don't want to find me, maybe you should just give me all the drugs already!!!
Anyway this is over long already but I'm looking forward to meeting people who use this community. Feel free to shoot me a message anytime!
