I started a relationship with a woman I met on the internet. At first it was just chat, you know, didn't seem to mean much, then there was this growing connection with someone who lived 300 miles away, at the other end of the country. It went from internet chat, to texting, to phone calls.
Amazingly, we met a few weeks ago, and we clicked as much in real life as we did online.
And then the complications began, as we both have significant commitments where we live. So now we know we have this great connection, but have huge practicalities to get over if we actually want to have any kind of relationship...
Actually, meeting her played a huge part in my decision to quit the kratom. She knows about my past with drugs and drink, accepts it, but I just haven't had the wherewithal to tell her I've got this kratom addiction. Her ex was an addict and she despises him for it... It just doesn't seem to be a real part of me, it doesn't belong, and I am therefore getting rid of it...
However, she wants to meet again, and soon, she is talking about coming here to stay over, and I know I've got to get myself off the kratom and get my head together before I can start even thinking about that. I feel like I'm only going to get this shot at quitting the shit and then the window is going to close - the commitments are piled high for the next few months, I have a couple of weeks to get clean.
It feels hard putting her off, but I've got to do it - I've got to get back to being the me I am without the kratom. It's more or less the same me, but I need to adjust psychologically, and for that I need all other pressures off, just for a little while.
Of course I hate the thought of her coming to stay, and my having to dose secretly, just to stop going into withdrawal. Really hate it. But if I don't quit now, that is what will happen - so hopefully it will give me added motivation to quit, and hopefully I can make the transition and then start giving her the real me that she deserves.
Amazingly, we met a few weeks ago, and we clicked as much in real life as we did online.
And then the complications began, as we both have significant commitments where we live. So now we know we have this great connection, but have huge practicalities to get over if we actually want to have any kind of relationship...
Actually, meeting her played a huge part in my decision to quit the kratom. She knows about my past with drugs and drink, accepts it, but I just haven't had the wherewithal to tell her I've got this kratom addiction. Her ex was an addict and she despises him for it... It just doesn't seem to be a real part of me, it doesn't belong, and I am therefore getting rid of it...
However, she wants to meet again, and soon, she is talking about coming here to stay over, and I know I've got to get myself off the kratom and get my head together before I can start even thinking about that. I feel like I'm only going to get this shot at quitting the shit and then the window is going to close - the commitments are piled high for the next few months, I have a couple of weeks to get clean.
It feels hard putting her off, but I've got to do it - I've got to get back to being the me I am without the kratom. It's more or less the same me, but I need to adjust psychologically, and for that I need all other pressures off, just for a little while.
Of course I hate the thought of her coming to stay, and my having to dose secretly, just to stop going into withdrawal. Really hate it. But if I don't quit now, that is what will happen - so hopefully it will give me added motivation to quit, and hopefully I can make the transition and then start giving her the real me that she deserves.