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Loneliness

cyberius

cyberius

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 11, 2013
Messages
1,571
Because of my drug use and near fatal overdose, Im fully alone. How do you all deal with having nobody to talk to and nothing to do?
 
How do you feel about drugs at the moment?

If you're now open to the idea of sobriety or partial sobriety or whatever, you can join a recovery group or something. That's a way to meet other people, people who can relate directly with your life circumstances too...
 
Burnt Offerings said:
How do you feel about drugs at the moment?

If you're now open to the idea of sobriety or partial sobriety or whatever, you can join a recovery group or something. That's a way to meet other people, people who can relate directly with your life circumstances too...
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I still want to do drugs because I don't really have anything else stimulating in my life. I guess I'll look into that. Thank you.
 
BTW, I have a small dog. IMO a dog is much better company than humans. Absolutely no complaining or arguing from a pet.
 
Do something you think is fun. It gives me a natural high to learn something new that is a challenge. Read Blueligh. Like stated before get a furry friend to care for and love it and it will give you it's love many times over. Peace
 
It's hard to keep it in. I saw your post and I feel the same way (loneliness). I work in the entertainment industry but nobody can know about my struggles. You are not alone. In fact, Cyberius your post inspired me to join BL today. Fight the good fight man you can do it
 
Loneliness is a beast that shows itself in many forms. I am sorry for those who suffer. I do, too.

I feel lonely in a crowded room. I feel lonely even though I have a loving husband of 35 years. My husband is an only child and a loner, quiet, doesn't talk much. I am the youngest of 6, saddled with medical oversight of my 90 year old mom (in facility). My siblings have abandoned her and offer no support to me.

I suffer with chronic pain, with decades of suffering. Though I work full time and "present" a perfect life façade, it simply isn't true. I am in pain 24/7, but cannot share that...stiff upper lip and all.

I busy myself taking care of everyone else so that I don't focus on me. I allow myself a big ole ugly cry on occasion, but I cannot afford to linger in my sadness. It can be terminal for me.

Fake it til you make it. Force yourself to get out, go for a walk. The suggestion of a fir baby is a good one, too. You can meet people through your daily walks with your dog. If you don't want that commitment right away, do some volunteer work in an animal shelter.

I have a sign hanging on our wall that states "The more people I meet, the more I love DOGS!".
 
Loneliness is one of the worst emotions one can feel. It can lead to bad thoughts, not least among them the thought of not being good enough.

Get yourself out there. Keep trying even if it hurts. Keep getting up and dusting yourself off and going on towards what it is you desire. Someday you won't be lonely anymore.
 
I'm alone too. Being an addict is very lonely because I can't really tell anyone and I'm fighting these demons on my own. I don't talk to anyone except on social media. My life is empty. I'm not motivated or interested in love or doing anything anymore, just getting high so I can forget my existence or at least tolerate it.
 
I have a wonderful husband. But he works a huge amount of hours. Loneliness is real, regardless of how it presents itself. In the last year our very troubled daughter moved out. I now volunteer 3-4 days a week. It really helps. And exercise, which does not necessarily connect you to others, but connects you to yourself.
 
i'm also all alone caused by being psychotic and on drugs for a year
and I called people and in the end alienated everyone.

now I sit at home a lot but get out to AA meetings.
they can be great even if you're still using.
at least you're around people.

good luck,OP.
 
This is a very tight online community--by tight I do not mean cliquish at all--I mean that we exist for each other. So, welcome.

I, too, like oxyfen, enjoy being alone. In fact I crave it and often can not get enough of it. But I also have had periods in my life when I have experienced painful loneliness. It is both existential (we are truly alone in our own realities) and tangible (no one in my life that I could truly relate to). One of the best things you can do for the latter is to make sure that you are actually in touch with your authentic self. Often we unconsciously hold others at bay because we are uncomfortable exposing ourselves. Then we mistakenly use that to uphold low self-esteem (like what jackie jones was talking about.)

Learning to probe your own mind the way a good therapist would is an invaluable life skill. Ask yourself what you are afraid of and let the answer unfold without judgement, probing deeper and deeper into each insight. (Maybe it goes like this: What am I afraid of? I'm afraid that I will always feel alone. Why do you think you feel alone? Because I am not exciting or interesting enough for other people; no one cares. I think I am unlovable. Did you always feel this way? Yes. What messages do you think you got from your family or the world outside that could have contributed to this perception in your own head? Did you have times when you felt good and at ease? Some. What made you feel that way? ) learning to lead yourself down a path of discovery rather than taking the same old road of self-loathing and judgment can seem scary at first but that is so backwards if you really examine what you get from the two possibilities. Go down the old familiar road of self-judgment and you end up repeating all the same habits you came up with to deal with the self-hatred. Go down a new path--one where you doggedly insist on accepting yourself, all flaws included, and you may find yourself open to change.

The bottom line is that some loneliness exists always. Make a friend of it and seek a balance with it. Put effort into becoming at ease with yourself. People will come into your life from unexpected directions once you stop barring the doors!<3
 
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“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”

- Jung

That quote is so true. The mere presence of other people in your life doesn't necessarily prevent loneliness...after all, married people with lots of "friends" often suffer from crippling loneliness. Loneliness in my opinion primarily is based on being unable to find other people who you truly relate to, who you feel shares your outlook on a fundamental level
 
life is pointless, everything is pointless, we are merely the product of a natural process with the binding of certain elements to create complex organisms. you are as biologically valid as anyone else. There is nothing to do, there's no reason, in reality, to do anything. Now i know this can seem morbid, but you need to drop the constructs of your perception of your universe. Trying to ope with this in my younger years got me very much near the description you have depicted. but ultimately i found strength in it. There is no reason to do anything, so you are completely as liberty to make your reasons for anything in this world. there is not good or bad, evil and holy. there simply is, if you want to do drugs, do drugs, you will move on and time will pass, opportunities will arise and the world will be a completely different place relative to where you are now, time has a way of helping all perspective issues. Nothing is sacred, anything that can physically be done, can be done. we are all able to do anything if its in this objective reality. finding reason and purpose is fleeting and will usually just make you listen to lies.
 
You could try being like me and looking for a job so we will have more to do, have a reason to get out of the house on a regular basis, and have more people to talk to, even if they are just co-workers, bosses, and customers. Either that or get a hobby and chat with people on bluelight or facebook or adam4adam or whatnot--you know, the internet. Avoid TV though.
 
Yeah... Loneliness:(

I've been lonely for a long time but it's never been as bad as right now. I haven't seen my wife in almost a year, very long and complicated story but she went crazy on heroin and crack and now lives across the country. Me and our son live with my grandmother and I am now trying to kick my demons which were under control until things got crazy. Started taking pills to avoid reality, now I'm on the verge of losing everything. I was supposed to be the one that had things together. Lol. Goddamn I'm so lonely. I miss my buddy. I just want to hold her.
 
koalabear135 said:
life is pointless, everything is pointless, we are merely the product of a natural process with the binding of certain elements to create complex organisms. you are as biologically valid as anyone else. There is nothing to do, there's no reason, in reality, to do anything. Now i know this can seem morbid, but you need to drop the constructs of your perception of your universe. Trying to ope with this in my younger years got me very much near the description you have depicted. but ultimately i found strength in it. There is no reason to do anything, so you are completely as liberty to make your reasons for anything in this world. there is not good or bad, evil and holy. there simply is, if you want to do drugs, do drugs, you will move on and time will pass, opportunities will arise and the world will be a completely different place relative to where you are now, time has a way of helping all perspective issues. Nothing is sacred, anything that can physically be done, can be done. we are all able to do anything if its in this objective reality. finding reason and purpose is fleeting and will usually just make you listen to lies.
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very well put! Gospel
 
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