loneliness

[PoppyDreamz]

I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. Things got worse after my dad died...and me and my boyfriend started having problems...I started using roxies, got addicted to them. Me and my boyfriend broke up, he left, got another girl pregnant. I though I would be with him forever. I was more dperessed than ever. Then my addiction switched to heroin. It got really bad..couldnt pay my bills, lost my job, stole, got arrested. Now I am living with my parents. After I got arrested, I detoxed in jail. So I haven't been physically addicted since then. But it is all I ever think about. I haven't gotten a job yet...dont have a license. I feel so alone and depressed. The only thing that makes me happy is using heroin. But I can't do that very often since I dont have a job to pay for it. Sometimes I think about suicide. But am too scared to do it. I am such a private person, very secretive..so I don't open up to many people. But sometimes this loneliness is just too much. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I wish I could just have an endless supply of drugs. That gives me motivation, makes me happy. How can I find motivation? How can I be happy?

 

[xHippiexchildx]

I normally don't say this, but you should check into suboxone.

 

[Missykins]

I normally don't say this, but you should check into suboxone.

And rehab. You need to learn how to live. Being secretive and "private" is just a way you give yourself permission to use. Like I said in an earlier post, Suboxone will help with your cravings, but the experiment you did with it on your own is not the proper way to use it. You really need to be under a doctor's care.

What do your parents think you are doing with yourself? What would happen if you went to them and told them you need to go to rehab? They must know you're using--you've been to jail for it.

 

[brimz]

Sounds like yer pretty young like under 25 ?
If thats the case then things will be easier for you.

When you get to 35 like me n your still lonely n fuked with a 16 year methadone n benzo script thats when things get a tad hard .

Still think about any commitments to treatment bfore you do it and make roght with your family if you can you will not regrett that i promise
They will luv you whatever.
Happiness doesn't just happen for most of us we have to do things to make ourselves happy these things generally boost our confidence and self esteem which leads to happiness

Fuk i've been on disability for 15 years n happiness has been fleeting during this time but it has happened .
Just haven't managed to sustain it for any period of time .

I'm from the U.k btw so things are a bit different but we all have the same emotions i can relate to just about everything you posted up their from the suicide stuff to the Drugs

pm me if you want a chat ok ?

 

[Bostonguy9]

i feel the same as you.

 

[RedLeader]

What is in the way of you getting your license back?

What is stopping you from getting a job?

Do you have any friends who do not use?

A lot of people become lonely and isolated because they are embarrassed of the people they have become. This is often connected to the loss of freedoms that comes with addiction - not just jailtime, but losing the license, job, people close to you, etc.

You need to find simple things that effectively pull your spirits back up a bit. Do you make music or art? Can you go on walks/rides/runs/hikes around your area? Are there jobs within walking distance you could take? How is the public transportation there? I know that you probably don't want to hear this, but a lot of addicts sell themselves way short when it comes to turning things back around. You need to really explore your options.

You need to find something, anything for which you are willing to break out of the viscous heroin cycle. You don't find such things staying home all day, everyday, feeling sorry for yourself.