Mental Health Living the sober life

[Dcole461]

Hello all,

I'm not doing so well right now. I'm kind of depressed but also nervous. I'm performing (music) in a few hours for a Christmas service yet I'm at a bar drinking.

I won't go overboard because I need to sober up in time, but I shouldn't really be drinking in the first place.

I'm 13 months clean from meth, and have a prescription for cannabis which really does help me. But I'm kind of sick of wanting/needing drugs. My cannabis use isn't problematic, but given the amount of drugs I've done in my life, Id like to be done with them completely.

I am bipolar and have general anxiety. And I've tried the pdoc route and have been on lamictal, lithium, depakote, Abilify, Wellbutrin, geodon, Seroquel, et fucking cetera. So I guess having a little thc to get through the day isn't terrible.

But why is it so hard to be sober? Why am I having a drink right now? I hardly ever drink. Why can't I go through life without needing to be fucked up? Yes, I have an addictive personality and it runs in the family. But I also went cold turkey off of meth. So how do I give up everything else? Or should that even be my goal?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I hear you bro. I hate to quote NA but you should try to take it one day at a time.

I have bipolar too, DOCs being meth and weed. I gave up drinking because I break laws.

Are you on any meds now?

What's wrong with just weed? Is alcohol self medicating the anxiety?

Have you every tried meds for anxiety? Those you listed don't sound like they'd necessarily help the anxiety part.

 

[Meth novice 79]

I feel this on every level.

Sick to death of the life style, the constant highs and lows, the comedown that lasts 5 times as long as the high, the 2 day hangovers and the feeling of total loss of control over my life

As I’m typing this I’m also trying to find a way to justify spending my last few dollars on cheap wine

Especially when it comes to anxiety and other pre existing mental health issues, we are self medicating, stuck on a merry go round and I’ve got no idea how to get off

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Getting off of meth is huge. It can't be understated. Meth is an animal. It raises your feel-good neurochemicals by 1000%.

This also means, though, that it will naturally take time for the brain to learn that it can't rely on this enormous stream of feel-good chemicals from the outside, but that happiness is to be obtained through actions and resultant natural highs; this is of course a category that excludes the awfully simple act of loading a pipe, taking a line, or putting a needle in you.

As would follow, there may still be a part of the brain that is still influenced by meth. A corner, gorwing ever smaller with abstinence, that says, or even screams, that meth is necessary for your survival.

But time is on your side and patience is golden. And you can lessen the time that it will take feel self-subsistence by developing productive habits. There's a whole world of healthy things one can do that also feel good. It's not going to be that 1000%, and usually won't feel perfect at first, but that's life. You're making the trade: the euphoric habit and all of its personal and outside costs for a steady good mood and all of the advantages that health/sobriety brings. Life is better after recovery. It's better than when one used.

There's a ton of more specific recovery-centric things like therapy, meds/healing herbs, meditation, yoga, being with (and confiding in) friends/family, writing down what you're grateful for, and more!

Believe it or not, but these things of which I speak are trustworthy. If you utilize them, I can guarantee that your future self will be glad for it. Keep fighting the good fight, guys!

 

[Jabberwocky]

I feel for you and wish you the very best in moving through this. My story is similar and I’ve told it on BL several times so won’t repeat but ny bi-polar and my meth/stim abuse are tightly linked. I think some psych meds can really help especially if you remove all stresses from your life for a long time. The idea of playing Xmas music a stress - fuck it off along with anything else that triggers you. Be honest ‘ish with the people affected. I never say I can’t do something because it makes me want meth but I have no problem saying I am having temporary mental health issues and can no longer participate in something I said I would do. It has impacted my career a little bit but nowhere near as much as getting totally psychotic from overuse of meth would fuck it up.

After being seriously into meth the first time (for only 6 months) I found that it took nearly 2 years of therapy, finding the right psych drug combination, and dedicated healthy living to feel safe from cravings and temptation. Everyone is different but after trying many of the drugs you mentioned I found abilify + low dose prescribed and supervised d-amp + clonidine and a lot of exercise kept me on the level for several years (though I got fucked up again after stopping this program).

Good luck and hit me up by PM if you want to talk meth + bi-polar recovery further - I’d be happy to help if I can.

 

[RV Mystery Journey]

Kind of glad I didn't have access to meth when going through a bad stim struggle in the recent past.

Surely it isn't over if I let my guard down and cross chemical boundaries I know I shouldn't be.

Just read over your original post sorry. Another post in this thread grabbed me in search results.

I think you need to become more content to be able to not crave mind altering compounds. If all that using them does for you is makes you fucked up perhaps really try to intentionally stop everything, and I hope you are still off meth doing well, and you might even find yourself craving to use them less in time?

I don't really value drugs these days outside of ones that I perceive to enhance the awareness but I understand that isn't my only option to grow awareness, joy, and understanding about life and the universe. Taking Chinese and Indian tonic herbs help my moods so much today where I once used all kinds of drugs to do that with terrible side effects. I still have my ups and downs and chemical romances but I really am trying to switch to psychdelics and I certainly am not taking those to get fucked up.

I can only say keep trying and searching for what feels right to you and it sounds like not even cannabis?

Edit: How very odd and strange I think and articulate those thoughts posting from my phone. I should refrain and post replies and entries from a computer I think lol.

I had this whole bit that was lost as this dumb phone restarted and shut down out of nowhere as these updates keep installing without my permission anyways tonic herbs (adaptogens) for mood boosting without the intoxication bothering you as it appears to do, meditation to boost and balance neurotransmitters and honestly your mind, and as someone else said Yoga which is good if it isn't too watered down so you get a dose of the Eastern philosophy that the traditional teaching was based upon. I do Chinese arts daily myself, the Chinese yoga if you will.

Oh and I do fully believe in psychedelics as medicine but of course people do use them recreationally too much like cannabis which isn't a psychedelic to me but nor is ketamine and that is valuable in my eyes therapeutically not without abuse potential but this is about sober living is it not I need to stop rambling and be more cohesive with my typing from now on apologies.