Hannah Capps
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2006
- Messages
- 1,451
They like to see you fall...Something about this doesn't seem to bother you...Feeling nothing...A girl on a string...I'm rotting away, these strings are hanging me...Dangling from that noose...That diamond cage, my pretty prison...The one I've made for myself...Something that isn't fathomable, feeling no pain...Only shame...I'm becoming one with the dirt...I'm falling into this bed of thorns...I"m weak and expiring...Holding onto the lie to avoid the truth that is to painful to hear...Guilt flowing from my arms...By her stripes she is healed...Why is it I can relate to Christ painfully so? Why am I called a hieratic by my church? They have excommunicated me...and as such I feel as John Donne did from his holy sonnets...
74. "Batter my heart, three person'd God
BATTER my heart, three person'd God; for, you
As yet but knocke, breathe, shine, and seeke to mend; (The Lord is at the heart knocking for entry, shining his kindness and seeking to mend the brokeness of the said persons soul)
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow mee,'and bend (Donne is asking God to overthrow his will to reject the kindness of The Lord and to bend Donnes will to Gods)
Your force, to breake, blowe, burn and make me new. (Refining fire, my hearts one desire...Is to be holy set apart for you Lord ready too do your will...As in a gold refining process, God puts his children through trials to refine them as gold...getting the crap out)
I, like an usurpt towne, to'another due, (Donne just like every other believer, struggled with his flesh sin nature)
Labour to'admit you, but Oh, to no end, (Donne is trying within his own power to summit to God and failing each time I should know because I struggle with this daily no matter how hard I try to a line my will with God's it is as filthy rags)
Reason your viceroy in mee, mee should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weake or untrue.
Yet dearely'I love you,'and would be loved faine, (Donne's love for God is in vain because he is wed as it were to the devil)
But am betroth'd unto your enemie: 10
Divorce mee,'untie, or breake that knot againe; (Donne is pleading with God to septate himself from Donne...as I've asked God to kill me and take me home away from all of this pain and suffering)
Take mee to you, imprison mee, for I (Donne as myself, ask God to take us away)
Except you'enthrall mee, never shall be free,(Unless God forces his will upon us both donne and myself won't be truly free)
Nor ever chast, except you ravish mee. (Nor shall I be solely for God unless he rapes my will for myself and forces it to be as His will)
This was similar to the paper that I did in collage (a Christian collage) and I did receive an A but was sent to the dean of womens office because apparently you cannot say 'God and rape' in the same sentence...Fools...at any rate...yea...apparently I"m double minded and unstable in all my ways...
74. "Batter my heart, three person'd God
BATTER my heart, three person'd God; for, you
As yet but knocke, breathe, shine, and seeke to mend; (The Lord is at the heart knocking for entry, shining his kindness and seeking to mend the brokeness of the said persons soul)
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow mee,'and bend (Donne is asking God to overthrow his will to reject the kindness of The Lord and to bend Donnes will to Gods)
Your force, to breake, blowe, burn and make me new. (Refining fire, my hearts one desire...Is to be holy set apart for you Lord ready too do your will...As in a gold refining process, God puts his children through trials to refine them as gold...getting the crap out)
I, like an usurpt towne, to'another due, (Donne just like every other believer, struggled with his flesh sin nature)
Labour to'admit you, but Oh, to no end, (Donne is trying within his own power to summit to God and failing each time I should know because I struggle with this daily no matter how hard I try to a line my will with God's it is as filthy rags)
Reason your viceroy in mee, mee should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weake or untrue.
Yet dearely'I love you,'and would be loved faine, (Donne's love for God is in vain because he is wed as it were to the devil)
But am betroth'd unto your enemie: 10
Divorce mee,'untie, or breake that knot againe; (Donne is pleading with God to septate himself from Donne...as I've asked God to kill me and take me home away from all of this pain and suffering)
Take mee to you, imprison mee, for I (Donne as myself, ask God to take us away)
Except you'enthrall mee, never shall be free,(Unless God forces his will upon us both donne and myself won't be truly free)
Nor ever chast, except you ravish mee. (Nor shall I be solely for God unless he rapes my will for myself and forces it to be as His will)
This was similar to the paper that I did in collage (a Christian collage) and I did receive an A but was sent to the dean of womens office because apparently you cannot say 'God and rape' in the same sentence...Fools...at any rate...yea...apparently I"m double minded and unstable in all my ways...
