Im sitting on my bed right now. Outside the sky is a light grey, and there are rough winds tossing the trees about. The branches are shaking neurotically like a middle aged woman flapping the flab that hangs too lose from her arm. Needless to say, its pretty fucking bleak.
I didn't do much today.
I left my house around 7 a.m. this morning to head into manhattan to get my methadone. For some reason, my take home bottle from Saturday seemed like it was less potent or something, and I wonder if I perhaps accidentally spilled some of the syrup, because I started to feel minor withdrawal while riding on the train.
Halfway into the city, the D line stopped for about ten minutes, and an announcement came over the loud speaker that one of the train cars had to be evacuated immediately and I believe they even mentioned the word "quarantined". I was not willing to risk dying of the bubonic plague just to get to my methadone clinic quicker, so I changed lines, and eventually made it to my stop in midtown.
It's weird how methadone works. When I initially got on the program (approx. 2 weeks ago) and was given my first 30mg dose, it seemed to take forever for the methadone to kick in. I had ran into my friend who was recieving buprenorphine and together we walked all the way downtown to where I met my girlfriend in the west village. The trek took a good hour, and I remember feeling concerned that this was not going to be enough methadone, as I could feel the shot that I had done that morning wearing off, and the early signs of withdrawal were kicking in even though I had dosed my methadone nearly an hour earlier. Anyway, to stop this from being a tangent, after two hours the methadone kicked in full force and I felt great. Now each day when I take it, I begin to feel it immediately which is really crazy. I've decided to stay at this low dosage of 30mg because it holds me well, and I've had the misfortune of being on MMT in the past, stuck on a tipple digit dose and that sucked.
Anyways, I'm happy with that aspect of my treatment. I was worried for a while that switching to methadone instead of bupe would be a big mistake, but I'm confident now that it's exactly what I need.
My girlfriend called me up this morning and that made me feel real good like always. It sucks being apart, but im leaving NY in two weeks to visit her, so Ive got something great to look forward to. I just hate doing the whole countdown thing. I want to be there now. I never knew how alone I really felt in the last few years, as I've had nothing to compare it to.
So now I'm looking out my window again, and it's still that nasty grey bullshit, but the winds have calmed down, and my curtains are no longer dancing wildly (thank god). It's just still and quiet .
I didn't do much today.
I left my house around 7 a.m. this morning to head into manhattan to get my methadone. For some reason, my take home bottle from Saturday seemed like it was less potent or something, and I wonder if I perhaps accidentally spilled some of the syrup, because I started to feel minor withdrawal while riding on the train.
Halfway into the city, the D line stopped for about ten minutes, and an announcement came over the loud speaker that one of the train cars had to be evacuated immediately and I believe they even mentioned the word "quarantined". I was not willing to risk dying of the bubonic plague just to get to my methadone clinic quicker, so I changed lines, and eventually made it to my stop in midtown.
It's weird how methadone works. When I initially got on the program (approx. 2 weeks ago) and was given my first 30mg dose, it seemed to take forever for the methadone to kick in. I had ran into my friend who was recieving buprenorphine and together we walked all the way downtown to where I met my girlfriend in the west village. The trek took a good hour, and I remember feeling concerned that this was not going to be enough methadone, as I could feel the shot that I had done that morning wearing off, and the early signs of withdrawal were kicking in even though I had dosed my methadone nearly an hour earlier. Anyway, to stop this from being a tangent, after two hours the methadone kicked in full force and I felt great. Now each day when I take it, I begin to feel it immediately which is really crazy. I've decided to stay at this low dosage of 30mg because it holds me well, and I've had the misfortune of being on MMT in the past, stuck on a tipple digit dose and that sucked.
Anyways, I'm happy with that aspect of my treatment. I was worried for a while that switching to methadone instead of bupe would be a big mistake, but I'm confident now that it's exactly what I need.
My girlfriend called me up this morning and that made me feel real good like always. It sucks being apart, but im leaving NY in two weeks to visit her, so Ive got something great to look forward to. I just hate doing the whole countdown thing. I want to be there now. I never knew how alone I really felt in the last few years, as I've had nothing to compare it to.
So now I'm looking out my window again, and it's still that nasty grey bullshit, but the winds have calmed down, and my curtains are no longer dancing wildly (thank god). It's just still and quiet .
