+ That's the main reason I stopped. I cba with doing the jail for it, after a certain age if you keep dealing just to take drugs your plain daft cos your risking years just to get high, so if your doing it your doing it to make proper money and in that case your liable to end up with a ridiculous stretch, 7-10 years on a second offence. So combined with the 4 1'2 you'l get for selling class A's first time around thats most likely 10+ years just to live that nice easy life. I've watched some big time people make some serious money, all to end up on B-Wing with a 15 year stretch, dying slowly from diseases and with a family thats torn up, their sons often end up alongside them doing similar amounts of time and you just look at it and think what a fucking waste.
The sad thing is, if things went tits up for me I would go back to it most likely, but aslong as I'm happy and fulfilled with ambitions beyond just taking drugs and money then I'l try steer clear of it. I see a lot of your posts fightingthetoot just wondering where you see yourself in 5 years time? For me when i was at it I couldnt even imagine fucking 1 years time nevermind 5 so I'd understand if you dont really know, I just wonder how much of this is what you wanna do and how much of it being all you know, the easiest way you know to get money and feed your habits, and the addictive nature of both selling + drugs itself. I was also fucking lost from a young age and really bought into that whole lifestyle because it shored up all the other shit that was wrong with me, like if I was a succesful drug dealer I wouldn't see myself as some fucked up drug user, when in reality I was making thousands of pounds but I had no real use for the money it was all about getting more drugs into the mix
Wouldn't put it down as me being lost, being all I know for sure, even though I am fighting an addiction just now, & your correct about the money not meaning much long as I have the drugs I want then am content, though I do like to treat people, I have sold since I was 14 stared with bit of soapbar lol thing is I come from a family where it is 3rd generation we're on that sell , my brother do as well , though they hate smack & valium, but that's more since I started taking it , they late teens , green hash coke , that's there game , when I choose to move into smack I didn't know it at the time but I was choosing the junkie camp, has its drawbacks been seen deal with junkies but also it's perks , like everything is cash, no tic!!
Last few days I have been using, quite a bit av took on board with my benzos, before I came to the house am using at, went for benzos & couldn't get any , all gone!!! Raging about that as I told him yesterday ad be down today for quite a few , I can get else where if a chase but I can't be fucked with that, took 40ml of meth at 9 too, & not long just put 3 bags on the foil, but my need for benzos has ruined it for me, took that many yesterday I don't feel rough because them just hate not having them, after I finish what's on the foil from the 3 bags I don't know what to do , chase benzos, take more kit, ideally , ad get benzos & have kit on top , but monies are running low AGAIN, with junk, I can't sell it & take it plus build my doe , just seem to all go on that plus I go through way more green too, it's just like money doesn't matter long as am getting what drugs I want that second , & all that leads to is regret, gonna have a few more licks while I wait on the workies coming to fix a few things.