lifeguard sleeping, girl drowning

I can't bear how tense I have become. The clock marks empty hours as I pace, in search of something that never comes to me. The tightness in my chest betrays the voice in my head that tells me I am wrong. It's like waiting for a telegram to tell you that a loved one died at war. A text message could end this, but I am not brave enough to try. The televisions mindless drone fills me with tedium. I don't know what is coming and I wish I knew. I long for the comfort of a human embrace. But the one I need is unlikely to read this. My heart has reverted. I am delving through years past. And drowning for the wordsmith that filled my heart.