Okay, so yeah it has been about 5 years since I have last posted...Crazy shit right? My first blog post is a short biography(of misery) that I wrote on a coke binge during 8th grade. Since then, my life has been a roller coaster. This portion of my story is going to be from the end of 8th grade to the end of highschool. If you are just reading this for the first time, please read my 1st blog entry first.
So at the end of my last story I was a strung out fiend in 8th grade at an all boys catholic highschool. All night coke binges continuing into the school days were not uncommon during that year. Somehow by the age of 14/15 I became addicted to drugs. Everyone else grew up and moved on, and I was stuck.
During the second semester of 8th grade(and 5/6 months into drug counseling), I decided that this life style is obviously not working. I got clean of all drugs, got put onto anti depressants, and finished 8th grade. I decided to return to the small private school I had gone to my whole life besides 8th grade. The thought of getting a new start at highschool and leaving my past behind was amazing. I finished drug counseling after 9 months total, clean and ready for highschool. My relationship with my parents increased and I felt like I was okay again, like things were gonna work out.
I dropped the girlfriend I I had been dating on and off since 6th grade. I also had last my virginity to her(and her likewise) a month prior. We did a lot of drugs together and had a rough past, so leaving her was necessary to move on. I dumped her a few days before highschool, she went insane(almost suicidal) over it, and I moved on.
Highschool. I come back to the school I went to for almost my whole life, and felt amazing. Everyone had the "popular kid who parties a lot" idea of me. During the 8th grade year, I was known as the crazy drug fiend to everyone, and was an outcast. This was the best feeling in the world. On one of the first days of school, I meet a new freshman, Sarah. She was the best looking girl in our class, and was overall everything a guy looked for in a girl. We flirted, went on a few dates, and then I asked her out. My life seemed complete. Hottest girl in the school, popular, and healthy. I was ecstatic both in and out of school, just high on life really.
After a month of dating me, she broke up with me. It tore me apart. I downed a quarter of a handle of rum and cried myself to sleep. Most relationships that lasted a month wouldn't do that to anyone. This was different. I don't think that I loved her by any means. Looking back, Ive realized something. I loved the thought of being with her. Being wanted by someone beautiful was the greatest feeling. I wanted to be "that guy", the coolest kid who gets the hottest girls.
A few weeks later. Most of our school is at a fall dance at our school. It sucks, the fire alarm goes off, everyone wants to leave. My parents were out of town, I lived across the street in a mansion. I yell party, the whole school comes and I open my parents' liquor cabinet to everyone. Half the senior class was at my house, the hottest senior girl asks me if i want to hook up, and the party is bangin. It felt awesome, I thought the rest of highschool was going to be like this.
I get good grades throughout the year. I become great friends with everyone at the school again. I date two or three more girls by the end of freshman year. I play lacrosse, I was out of shape and didnt end up starting much. On the team, I meet Corey and Collin, two juniors. Corey and Collin were two guys I looked up to so much at my school. I chill with them through other people a few times during 2nd semester of freshman year, and somehow they liked me and we all became best friends.
I once again, felt awesome. I was playing poker weekly with all the juniors and seniors. I was on the lacrosse team and was liked by most. I was a freshman with two junior best friends and a few senior friends. This was probably the happiest part of my life. I felt like I ran the fucking school. I threw the most parties, cracked the most jokes, had the most older friends, hooked up with the hottest girls. That is all I wanted to be. Besides the fact that Collin and Corey were juniors(Although the age difference is really just 6-12 months), being friends with them felt different. I felt a sense of brotherhood, we all would have eachothers backs no matter what. We showed up at every party together, and if we werent at a party we were just together. God, if I only knew where all three of us would end up today and what happened in between.
I finish off freshman year with good grades and without heavy drug use. I dated several girls, had a good first varsity lacrosse season, and good friends. By the end of freshman year, Corey randomly one day decides he wants to buy a quarter of bud from our friend. At this point I hadn't bought bud or drugs in a while, I was clean and had moved on in life. All three of us end up buying bud. We end up smoking pretty often, usually 3 or 4 times a week. We all love smoking, and ended up smoking everyday together.
So at the end of my last story I was a strung out fiend in 8th grade at an all boys catholic highschool. All night coke binges continuing into the school days were not uncommon during that year. Somehow by the age of 14/15 I became addicted to drugs. Everyone else grew up and moved on, and I was stuck.
During the second semester of 8th grade(and 5/6 months into drug counseling), I decided that this life style is obviously not working. I got clean of all drugs, got put onto anti depressants, and finished 8th grade. I decided to return to the small private school I had gone to my whole life besides 8th grade. The thought of getting a new start at highschool and leaving my past behind was amazing. I finished drug counseling after 9 months total, clean and ready for highschool. My relationship with my parents increased and I felt like I was okay again, like things were gonna work out.
I dropped the girlfriend I I had been dating on and off since 6th grade. I also had last my virginity to her(and her likewise) a month prior. We did a lot of drugs together and had a rough past, so leaving her was necessary to move on. I dumped her a few days before highschool, she went insane(almost suicidal) over it, and I moved on.
Highschool. I come back to the school I went to for almost my whole life, and felt amazing. Everyone had the "popular kid who parties a lot" idea of me. During the 8th grade year, I was known as the crazy drug fiend to everyone, and was an outcast. This was the best feeling in the world. On one of the first days of school, I meet a new freshman, Sarah. She was the best looking girl in our class, and was overall everything a guy looked for in a girl. We flirted, went on a few dates, and then I asked her out. My life seemed complete. Hottest girl in the school, popular, and healthy. I was ecstatic both in and out of school, just high on life really.
After a month of dating me, she broke up with me. It tore me apart. I downed a quarter of a handle of rum and cried myself to sleep. Most relationships that lasted a month wouldn't do that to anyone. This was different. I don't think that I loved her by any means. Looking back, Ive realized something. I loved the thought of being with her. Being wanted by someone beautiful was the greatest feeling. I wanted to be "that guy", the coolest kid who gets the hottest girls.
A few weeks later. Most of our school is at a fall dance at our school. It sucks, the fire alarm goes off, everyone wants to leave. My parents were out of town, I lived across the street in a mansion. I yell party, the whole school comes and I open my parents' liquor cabinet to everyone. Half the senior class was at my house, the hottest senior girl asks me if i want to hook up, and the party is bangin. It felt awesome, I thought the rest of highschool was going to be like this.
I get good grades throughout the year. I become great friends with everyone at the school again. I date two or three more girls by the end of freshman year. I play lacrosse, I was out of shape and didnt end up starting much. On the team, I meet Corey and Collin, two juniors. Corey and Collin were two guys I looked up to so much at my school. I chill with them through other people a few times during 2nd semester of freshman year, and somehow they liked me and we all became best friends.
I once again, felt awesome. I was playing poker weekly with all the juniors and seniors. I was on the lacrosse team and was liked by most. I was a freshman with two junior best friends and a few senior friends. This was probably the happiest part of my life. I felt like I ran the fucking school. I threw the most parties, cracked the most jokes, had the most older friends, hooked up with the hottest girls. That is all I wanted to be. Besides the fact that Collin and Corey were juniors(Although the age difference is really just 6-12 months), being friends with them felt different. I felt a sense of brotherhood, we all would have eachothers backs no matter what. We showed up at every party together, and if we werent at a party we were just together. God, if I only knew where all three of us would end up today and what happened in between.
I finish off freshman year with good grades and without heavy drug use. I dated several girls, had a good first varsity lacrosse season, and good friends. By the end of freshman year, Corey randomly one day decides he wants to buy a quarter of bud from our friend. At this point I hadn't bought bud or drugs in a while, I was clean and had moved on in life. All three of us end up buying bud. We end up smoking pretty often, usually 3 or 4 times a week. We all love smoking, and ended up smoking everyday together.