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Life Means Nothing and is Going Nowhere. Somebody prove me wrong. Please.

I look at life as one big test. It keeps getting harder and more challenging for a reason, and I don’t think it’s coincidental.

I also find the beauty in the rough times because I know without those the good times wouldn’t taste so sweet. One thing I’ve heard people say about heaven during a NDE, is it’s boring. I believe that. While we crave nothing but pure joy and happiness, we need both sides of the coin to truly live.

-GC
 
It's been my experience that if I'm chasing pleasure for pleasure's sake, I'll usually be disappointed. And if I'm thinking about how happy I am, I'm not very happy.

But if I'm immersed in an activity-- a job I like, a hobby I enjoy, playing with my dog, reading a book, hiking in the woods, etc...then happiness/satisfaction/joy are natural byproducts.

Don't get me wrong-- I like to drink booze and smoke weed and indulge in other substances. But if that's ALL I'm doing then it loses its charm and becomes more of a chore.

I had to learn all this the hard way, and it took decades. I'm a slow learner.
 
snazzy_sn said:
I'm in a very poor state of mind right now, and to be quite honest I'm not even sure if any of this makes sense or is even in the right forum. It's probably just my usual garbage tweaker writing that I'll erase when I wake up.
I was gonna post this in the dark side, but this isn't really about my problems. I just need somebody to tell me the answers or how to find them before I lose myself completely.
Coming off of drugs tends to amplify these thoughts and beliefs, but hey this is why I'm doing drugs in the first place.
I'm not gonna really go in to detail because in my current state I'm incapable. This is the short version of my philosophy. That of an athiest. Someone who tries to see everything objectively. That of a junkie and a thief.
I don't believe in god. I don't believe in anything spiritual, other than drug induced experiences.
From a purely objective standpoint, there is no right and wrong therefore these are empty too.
Doing what makes you happy is probably the closest thing to what's right but this doesn't make it any more meaningful.

We are all bags of blood and we will all die someday. The world will end one day. Everything is essentially futile.
Happiness and our emotions etc are merely a series of chemical reactions nothing more, which is how I justify my drug use. Shooting up meth and heroin cause a maximum release of happiness possible. Psychedelics are where I find my "spirituality" and this too is nothing more than chemical reactions.

I have my reasons for believing these things. It's been like that since god "abandoned" me eleven years ago.
I've made various attempts since then to seek him out but I feel foolish. Like I'm trying to fool myself.

I want something. I need to believe in something. Even if it weren't real, at least I could be happy. I've been mad for quite some time now, but the reckless abandon derived from trying to cope with leading a meaningless existence and living in a meaningless world have been getting progressively worse. I'm 21 years old, and at the rate I'm going I'll be dead within the two or three years from drug overdose or the violence associated with drug addiction, or suicide.

My beliefs and my philosophy are strong, but I'm not strong enough to live with them.
Somebody tell me what to do, what to think, tell me I'm wrong, but most importantly tell me why I'm wrong. If you argue that life has meaning tell me why. I need a reason. I've been searching so hard this last month and found nothing other than things that have reinforced my beliefs.

Like I said, this post is probably garbage and I'll probably erase it tomorrow, but hey. Who knows? Couldn't hurt to ask.
Click to expand...

You're right, though. All life does mean absolutely nothing. But so what? That doesn't have to be depressing, it can also be very freeing.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
nvm, I googled him lol. Yeah, I'd say I was Nihilist, but not in a particularly depressing or destructive way.

*stabs you in the kidney*
Click to expand...
Well, his point as well, was "Should I have a coffee?" Or "Should I kill myself?"....

I think his ultimate point was that as long as you have a good time doing so, it won't matter either way. Your own happiness is what you can most closely feel.
 
deficiT said:
Well, his point as well, was "Should I have a coffee?" Or "Should I kill myself?"....

I think his ultimate point was that as long as you have a good time doing so, it won't matter either way. Your own happiness is what you can most closely feel.
Click to expand...

Makes sense. I spent SO MUCH TIME when I was younger (like 11-twentysomething) trying to decide whether or not to kill myself. Even during times when I wasn't actively suicidal. It started driving me crazy. I'm convinced some people who kill themselves do it just to shut off that enteral inner debate on whether or not to do it.
 
That was me for a long time, like age 11 or 12 on up to 50-something years old. Not constantly, but frequently.
I finally decided Look, you're gonna die anyway. Got that to look forward to. Meanwhile, just see what happens between now & then.
 
A want to go out on my terms, not when my shitty life decides but when I’m good and ready. It’s so easy to die already, no need to do it myself.

I think the only way I’d ever commit “suicide” is by going off the rails, start robbing banks or stupid shit like that until it all ends in a hail of gunfire. That sounds romantic. That probably only if I’m terminal in some way. Reading last night about a diver who was drowning in an underwater cave and stabbed himself in the chest to save himself from the agony.

-GC
 
I feel like existential problems get dismissed so easily by a world conflicted by scientific opinions and religious opinions.

In my experience, existential turmoil is very tedious to work through in spiritual practice. Time is the biggest healer here, and I know that doesn't say much.

What you need, want and want to look forward to is entirely up to you. Life is pretty meaningless and the opinions for sticking it out are as broad as there are people on this planet. Whatever works for one person is too substandard for another and so on. If you've found this point in your life there's almost a bit of certainty that you will get beyond it and find that meaning everywhere you go.

Muster the courage and go far.
 
Yeah, I find it comforting to know that someday I am definitely going to die.
In the meantime, why not try to make the best of it?
I have been suicidal in the past and came very, very close a couple times (like with gun to temple, finger on trigger)...but I've always looked back and thought I'm glad I didn't do it. I'd have missed some fun times and wouldn't have met a lot of interesting people.
No, my life is not all puppies and rainbows. Far from it. But life is fascinating in many ways and there's always more to learn. My lifetime is less than a blink of the eye in the timeline of the Universe. So unless I'm in excruciating pain and there's absolutely no possibility of relief, then I'll stick it out for that nanosecond of my existence.
 
jasperkent said:
Yeah, I find it comforting to know that someday I am definitely going to die.
In the meantime, why not try to make the best of it?
I have been suicidal in the past and came very, very close a couple times (like with gun to temple, finger on trigger)...but I've always looked back and thought I'm glad I didn't do it. I'd have missed some fun times and wouldn't have met a lot of interesting people.
No, my life is not all puppies and rainbows. Far from it. But life is fascinating in many ways and there's always more to learn. My lifetime is less than a blink of the eye in the timeline of the Universe. So unless I'm in excruciating pain and there's absolutely no possibility of relief, then I'll stick it out for that nanosecond of my existence.
Click to expand...
Memento Mori
 
jasperkent said:
Yeah, I find it comforting to know that someday I am definitely going to die.
Click to expand...
Frankly it's a bloody relief. Why would anyone would to stick around longer than they have to on this shit heap basket case of a planet? Fuck that for a laugh. I like being alive, but this particular planet is piss. I refuse to believe this is the best the Universe can produce.
 
Recently I’ve been trying to simplify things and reduce unnecessary negative mental chatter by understanding how truly LUCKY I am due to the fact that where I currently live, I’m not being invaded and murdered, and losing everything that I’ve ever had and known because of the CURRENT WAR that’s going on in Ukraine.

That thought each morning puts things in perspective as to how trivial my daily problems are. It helps me become more understanding towards others; more compassionate.

I hope you find the Peace that you’re looking for.
 
snazzy_sn said:
I'm in a very poor state of mind right now, and to be quite honest I'm not even sure if any of this makes sense or is even in the right forum. It's probably just my usual garbage tweaker writing that I'll erase when I wake up.
I was gonna post this in the dark side, but this isn't really about my problems. I just need somebody to tell me the answers or how to find them before I lose myself completely.
Coming off of drugs tends to amplify these thoughts and beliefs, but hey this is why I'm doing drugs in the first place.
I'm not gonna really go in to detail because in my current state I'm incapable. This is the short version of my philosophy. That of an athiest. Someone who tries to see everything objectively. That of a junkie and a thief.
I don't believe in god. I don't believe in anything spiritual, other than drug induced experiences.
From a purely objective standpoint, there is no right and wrong therefore these are empty too.
Doing what makes you happy is probably the closest thing to what's right but this doesn't make it any more meaningful.

We are all bags of blood and we will all die someday. The world will end one day. Everything is essentially futile.
Happiness and our emotions etc are merely a series of chemical reactions nothing more, which is how I justify my drug use. Shooting up meth and heroin cause a maximum release of happiness possible. Psychedelics are where I find my "spirituality" and this too is nothing more than chemical reactions.

I have my reasons for believing these things. It's been like that since god "abandoned" me eleven years ago.
I've made various attempts since then to seek him out but I feel foolish. Like I'm trying to fool myself.

I want something. I need to believe in something. Even if it weren't real, at least I could be happy. I've been mad for quite some time now, but the reckless abandon derived from trying to cope with leading a meaningless existence and living in a meaningless world have been getting progressively worse. I'm 21 years old, and at the rate I'm going I'll be dead within the two or three years from drug overdose or the violence associated with drug addiction, or suicide.

My beliefs and my philosophy are strong, but I'm not strong enough to live with them.
Somebody tell me what to do, what to think, tell me I'm wrong, but most importantly tell me why I'm wrong. If you argue that life has meaning tell me why. I need a reason. I've been searching so hard this last month and found nothing other than things that have reinforced my beliefs.

Like I said, this post is probably garbage and I'll probably erase it tomorrow, but hey. Who knows? Couldn't hurt to ask.
Click to expand...
I concur
 
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