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Life just never ends does it?

D

deadendgame

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
356
Wow, I can't believe that I am only 26 years old. I feel like I lived 500 years. I have an incredibly good memory and I can remember things from when I was 3 years old. Yes, everything from 3 to now I still remember vividly. Goddam my superior memory. My memory is so good that I can keep karma tabs on everybody. People who have wronged me 20 years ago, I will keep it to myself, but when the time comes I will leave them in a ditch. That's not the problem. The problem is well... I quit the drugs, I found a job, I been working full-time, made some money. In my free time, I don't know exactly what to do. I just watch movies nonstop or play video games. I don't know what else to do. I don't like going out. I don't like partying. I don't like people in general. I just work my 9-5 job, come home, watch movies, and sleep. I must have watched 200 movies nonstop since May. It's like I know everyone elses' story except my own. As we are speaking, I am watching Elysium, then Maleficent, then Spiderman 1, 2, 3, etc. Goddam, if someone else were looking at how I was spending my life, they would probably beat the shit out of me. But honestly, I don't know what else to do except watch movies repeatedly, and this is the problem I am having. It just never ends!!
 
From just reading this post I think you need to work on letting alot of things go....maybe.?
 
Be more active, watching movies all day will definitely result in lower testosterone and dopamine levels, which will leave you feeling even shittier.
Your lack of motivation is almost certainly the result of low dopamine.

If you keep doing the same things you shouldn't expect different results, try something new, find a hobby, but first you'll need to become more active or you'll lose motivation for everything you try to start.

Endurance sports like running and swimming have a positive influence on your general well being and even impact your intelligence, your brain will function much better, combine this with weightlifting and you'll feel much better about yourself, rest is extremely important, but you have to find a balance between activity and recreation or you'll remain feeling shitty.

Also pay attention to what you eat, there's a lot of great documentaries out there as well.
If you really like to continue watching movies why not watch something that will motivate you to change your lifestyle?

For example:

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead, That Sugar Film, Hungry For Change, Fed Up, Food Matters, Conspiracy, Food Inc, etc...
Watch Human as well, great documentary about lives of people all over the world and the problems they face.

Read books that can help you, something by Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, or even The Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle.

Learn Mindfulness and meditation!

Try learning something new, a new language for instance:

This site is a good one for that:

http://www.memrise.com/courses/english/

Or this:

https://www.khanacademy.org

Or this:

https://www.coursera.org

Good luck!
 
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It sounds like you need a hobby! There are so many fun things in life to do but they must be sought out. I don't know what your into but I am sure you can find something fun to do.
 
Burnt Offerings said:
Really? That seems like it could be part of the problem
Click to expand...

HYDRO_CHRONIC said:
From just reading this post I think you need to work on letting alot of things go....maybe.?
Click to expand...

I agree with these posts.

By holding onto resentment resultant from bad shit done to us and planning on returning the favor we are choosing to both stay under the negative power of the sick people who have wronged us and also participate and spread the disease we hate.

Physics dictates negative never promotes possitive

Forgiveness is for us and sets us free.. though it often is thought of for them.. really it sets us free from them.
 
I definately agree with everyone else about letting go of your resentments - those are killing your living experience. You need to find something your are passionate about and persue that. Also, get of the sofa and go for a walk or something that is outside of your house. Force yourself to interact with people - it really helps your frame of mind. I don't like people either but for some strange reason after I've isolated too long I always feel better after spending time with people outside of my house.

You're way to young to be spending your life the way you are now. Trust me, if you continue doing what you're doing you're going to resent that in a major way a few years from now ;)
 
hey, thanks so much guys. i make friends on WoW and other MMO's but I don't know how to make friends outside of these forums because I'm not in school.
 
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whynaught said:
Wow I can't remember this morning or yesterday. I can hardly remember anything. I'm 22 years old. All the psychosis' must have fucked my memory up. I have schizophrenia. You're lucky you can remember your life. It's like I'm dead on the inside. Clozapine gets rid of the terrifying hallucinations. I just want to know what its like to live with a fully functioning brain and memory. It would probably make me suicidal, or have a death wish.
Click to expand...

Probably not how you meant it at all, but that looked like the most sarcastic comment I've read in a long time.
 
deadendgame said:
Wow, I can't believe that I am only 26 years old. I feel like I lived 500 years. I have an incredibly good memory and I can remember things from when I was 3 years old. Yes, everything from 3 to now I still remember vividly. Goddam my superior memory. My memory is so good that I can keep karma tabs on everybody. People who have wronged me 20 years ago, I will keep it to myself, but when the time comes I will leave them in a ditch. That's not the problem. The problem is well... I quit the drugs, I found a job, I been working full-time, made some money. In my free time, I don't know exactly what to do. I just watch movies nonstop or play video games. I don't know what else to do. I don't like going out. I don't like partying. I don't like people in general. I just work my 9-5 job, come home, watch movies, and sleep. I must have watched 200 movies nonstop since May. It's like I know everyone elses' story except my own. As we are speaking, I am watching Elysium, then Maleficent, then Spiderman 1, 2, 3, etc. Goddam, if someone else were looking at how I was spending my life, they would probably beat the shit out of me. But honestly, I don't know what else to do except watch movies repeatedly, and this is the problem I am having. It just never ends!!
Click to expand...

wow you pretty much described my life OP. luckily though I work a physical job so the active part is covered but other than work, I come home and just play video games and than sleep for 10 hours. I don't go out at all anymore I have no friends anymore, no gf. My life has become very isolated very since i got on suboxone maintenance 4 years ago...

but part of me doesn't really mind doing what I do. Part of me likes isolating from the world. Fuck the world I hate people, I like being emotionaly numb on my suboxone. I like being able to get into bed and fall asleep within 5 mins and not wake up once until 10 hours later. But the other part of me is disgusted....
 
Hey,know how u feel every day is the same sunrise sunset everything in-between..I also have a very good memory and think myself intelligent,witty,funny etc,yet I have small circle of friends I know them all for years but I choose to just chat with them via whatsapp and fb.I'm a big introvert(unless I'm high,being sober 2yrs so never anymore)I don't have conections with people easily.hard to find ppl u have things in common with.I know all movies,series,games,newspaper articles,new etc..I spend my days when not working reading and wtv or laptop..I don't know about the ditch comment if it was just to point out your fine memory or if u have issues but I get it.yes I have many interests,cars,history,mythology,mountain climbing,shark cage diving etc.I'd also like to go back to school,same reason as u I can't.but there is more to life,stuff I wana do places I wanna go..finance(major)reason and commitment to myself is my downfall,in sense I procrastinate my life by staying in my comfort zone,if I had friends with the same goals dreams mindsets maybe that would push me but in the end I can't wait on people need to motivate myself..where to start?that shoulda been the question
 
:| In my experience, I'd have to say John Cougar's song was spot-on...

"LIFE goes on...long after the thrill of LIVING is gone".

I listened to it in my youth and didn't have a clue. There has been little LIVING in my LIFE. Yet I devote myself to enriching others' lives.
 
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