Life just essentially ended.

[webbykevin]

Like you and effie, OP, I had a traumatic experience this year that sucked all the life out of my life: I lost my youngest son to his own despair. I understand that thin line you try to balance on every day between wanting oblivion and feeling your still beating heart as the hopeful organ it was meant to be. The choice you make right now is essentially a choice between shutting down or opening up deeper and further than you ever thought possible. Feeling the full extent of your fear, your sadness, your anger and your despair is a positive act. You are courageous to be doing this. Asking for help takes so much courage, too, but it is essential. Learning to encompass enormous loss, how to bear it and how to transform yourself within it is a powerful experience. I hope that all the sincere empathy in these responses to you gives you at least a glimpse of all the love that still exists in the world for you and for each of us.Try to take hold of any and every hand the world holds out to you right now.

holy shit, my heart goes out you mate, burying a child must be one of lifes most intense experiences, makes me realise that the things i complain about in my life are fucking petty and self pitying bullshit compared to what you have/are experiencing.

you have touched my heart really deeply today and i thank you for that immensely, it was just what i needed to snap me out of my own bullshit.

dunno what else to say except that you are in my heart and my thoughts tonight.

 

[Dedbeet]

See the difference? I don't know how to get through this. psychologist is not an option(no you may not ask why). Yep. Hey wait isn't this usually where I wake up? I swear dreams of being in jail are better than this. But this... this is real.

Having gone through several "dark nights of the soul", i can tell u that much of what u are going through is an attempt to validate a certain kind of reality that society says is real, but isn't really real. To break the cycle requires breaking with society and its ideas of how u should be.

basically it boils down to the fact that *what we really are* is *our consciousness*, but what society says we are is a name, identity, role in life, job, physical looks, etc. So the answer to this is really as simple as to *be what u really are* instead of what others see u as, or how they think u should be. This requires a break with what others say and a sort of stepping out on ur own to be who/what u really are (consciousness, aliveness, Being) instead of what society is trying to define u as.

It is much easier said than done. But it solves a hell of a lot of problems, as simple as it sounds, breaking away from expectations and beliefs of who/what u are supposed to be. *U are not supposed to be anything but what U really are*, and the only one who knows what you are IS YOU. THE ONLY ONE.

Ur problems are real, but the cause of them may not be. Look deeply into it, spend some time in introspection, meditation... DARE TO LIVE BY UR OWN LIGHTS. DARE TO SEE AND BE WHO U ARE, NOT WHO OTHERS SAY U ARE. Be free of others and their demands and expectations. That is true freedom, IMO/IME.

Peace...