Life is so different now

She's gone, and she died a while ago..

Life's so different since then. Many people hate me for what I do, and yes I carry a lot on my shoulders.. Some of those that have known me for years sort of predicted this predicament i'm in.. They knew i'd be on the cover or something adult related.

I don't know if bluelight blog is even an active thing anymore.. I guess that's not the point of this either way.

I've worked for pretty much all of the porn empires besides a few. This hustler film and tmz feature is going to change a lot of things in my life. It's gone to the point of not being known but being financially set and able to take care of yourself.. To be fully known for the things you've done. I didn't expect my photo to be a feature on tmz along with the rest of the cast. I didn't expect the video to have such a following. But America loves scandals, and the sandra bullock jesse james scandal is a great scandal to make a mockery of in the eyes of a company that's a big shark in the empire itself.. It's all about making money.. I never thought i'd be casted to a video this big. Not yet anyways. Not that I actually had hopes to.. But parts of my career felt realy legit ya know. The fact that I had an agent, and someone to do the legwork.. The fact that I worked for companies that were actually known, and for the fact that I was actually getting the shit fucked out of me by guys I grew up watching in porn.. Life is a crazy thing...

Going through death, addiction, being poor living in a car, depressed, suicidal, and just flat out lonely.. There's always a different pace life seems to head itself in.. I can imagine this path isnt the path a few people in my life wish for me to go down.. But i'm totally ok with that. I'm not miserable, unhappy, or doing what I do just the money factor. I love that I can express my sexual fantasies and use it in a way to feed my craze for being an exhibitionist. It's so liberating as a woman.. Trust me I know some people might not share that opinion either, but it's true... I feel in control of every move I make in my life. I'm independent, and i've had the oppurtunity to see a lot and meet some cool people along the way.

Outside of that i'm spending time with one of the most legit guys I have ever encountered on the face of this earth. He in himself has his own empire and he's a work horse. Waking up in his five bedroom home that he bought himself and watching him move and and just speaking to him it makes me smile. He's so independent and grew up from nothing at all. Just like me. We meet together in so many levels. He's humble about the enourmous amounts of success he's had in life, and he's just an all around chill guy.

I don't know man.. Shit's crazy... Life it's taking me all over the place. It makes my head spin.

I'm not prepared for certain blow ups.. But man let me tell ya what.. If I was going to do it.. I might as well have done it in the most legit way as possible.. And I have

 

Yeah, Blogs is still active. It's mostly a small group of core posters, but we're all really quite friendly. Nice to see you in these parts.

I don't know of the scandal that you're speaking of, but it sounds like your career is really taking off. In the end, as long as you're getting what you want out of it, and are not being taken advantage of (not likely if you have your own staff taking care of things ), then all the more power to you. Personally, I think that you could have had a more 'respectable' career if you wanted to, but different strokes for different folks and all that. Besides, it sounds like the pay is pretty good at your level.

Welcome to Blogs!

 

Man, yours is truly a unique story and I really dig the fact that you and your man both have made yourselves, hardship and consequences aside, when it comes down to it, you've pushed through and have found comfort and peace. And like you said, you did it all on your terms, in a legit fashion. Many of us would have chosen an easier, softer way and then complained afterwards when we realized that 'easier and softer' wasn't really easy or soft.

As far as the scandal and sudden focus on you... BAH! Don't sweat that shit, man. These types of things blow past quickly. Shit I don't even remember the names involved in most over-hyped 'scandals' or even the topics that they centered around.

Something new will be flashing on TMZ soon enough. Those guys gotta keep it moving in order to keep interest and ratings up.

 

You are a consenting adult and you have the right to do what you need to do to make a living. Fuck the haters (metaphorically). You are a gorgeous woman who likes to have sex. You are living out the dreams of the people that are repressed. As long as you're not doing anything illegal, which you're not, enjoy the fact that you are young and gorgeous. I know you're already a crackshot on safety, so do your thing, woman!

Need an accountant?

Haters are going to hate because they're, themselves, failures in various ways. I'd tell you to screw 'em, but that would be a little bit off base. You have a gift even if it's controversial. Yeah, it may come back to haunt you, but there's no substitute for bucks legally earned in the bank. As long as you're practicing safer sex, shake your tail-feather in any way you need.

(Don't) screw the haters.

 

HaHaHa.....U are SOO cool. I am finally meeting a pornstar. Amber, you really sound like someone to me. Just look at the way you demand respect in your industry of choice.
What scandal are you talking about?
Do you still reside in Clearwater Fl.?

 

How intriguing, i've always wanted to be a porn star but im not quite attractive enough (atleast by my standards). Finally i meet someone who has made it. If only i could find these pictures/videos of you lol .

Anyways, good for you. I bet you're making more than most people and your benefits must be killer. As long as you're happy, keep doing your thing.

Maybe someday i'll see you on redtube or tnaflix or some shit. Until then, take care and good luck with your man.