custard
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2010
- Messages
- 151
it's been rough lately. it's been 2 weeks since i've quit all drugs. it's been 3 months since i've quit my other addiction, sex and/or being in a relationship. the past month my shoulder injury (severe muscle tension and chronic pain) got much worse causing my insomnia to become much worse in turn, to the point where i was lucky just to get one night of decent sleep a week. i eventually connected the dots and realized that stress was a major factor in my physical deterioration. on top of this, about a week ago my boss invited me to his house to 'do work' that he apparently could not do at the office. we did under an hour of work and then he bribed me with money to get me drunk and touched me inappropriately. i luckily did not consent to taking off all my clothes which he repeatedly asked me to do, and on the way home i threw up on myself. a few days later i told him off to his face and quit. i'm glad i'm out of that environment, but in addition to everything else i now have some fresh trauma, am out of a job again and am flat broke.
in short, the armour i've worn for the past seven years (drugs/women) i've finally stripped off. given the state of my life right now, i feel like i'm standing naked inside a raging blizzard.. and i've forgotten how to self-soothe.
sometimes i listen to/play music, which helps. going for walks helps too. but these things don't always help, and sometimes (like tonight) i don't even have the energy for them. ideas? would really appreciate. i'm at bottom here..
in short, the armour i've worn for the past seven years (drugs/women) i've finally stripped off. given the state of my life right now, i feel like i'm standing naked inside a raging blizzard.. and i've forgotten how to self-soothe.
sometimes i listen to/play music, which helps. going for walks helps too. but these things don't always help, and sometimes (like tonight) i don't even have the energy for them. ideas? would really appreciate. i'm at bottom here..
