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life is hard

mrflowers00

mrflowers00

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
3,693
Location
santa rosa, CA
i think the hardest thing for me to deal with is the depression and the pain because they are the most constant it's awful always feeling low and hurting so idk how much longer i can deal with this bullshit
 
you will get through it man; most people grow out of it in their 30s and 40s at least.

for now, get to the root of why you are depressed, also what pain are you? what pain level and what kind?

so what makes you depressed? what do you think of? what's going through your head?
 
my neck and back are fucked up from two car accidents one of which i wasn't wearing a seat belt a flew right through the front windshield and once on acid i jumped from a 4 story parking garage luckily there was a very large pine tree for me to bounce down from i did this because i thought i could fly apparently nothing permanently wrong with my spine but since i was 14 (now 23) i've been in a lot of pain from the first car wreak and jumping from the parking garage and just this halloween i was in a much less intense wreak and was wearing a seat belt but now my back and neck hurt bad and i don't see me just growing out of my depression since my dad and mom haven't yet and they are in their early 40's
 
i get my xanax tomorrow though and that will help with not just the anxiety but the depression and the pain a little as well
 
it shall pass; i'm sure the xanax helps but sometimes can cause depression from being so apathetic. It happens to me after a while.

my dad is in his 50s and his depression/psychological issues have calmed down a lot.

you don't have to be depressed until then though; you can work your issues out. The car accidents suck and that doesn't help at all but maybe you can deal with the physical pain in a more effective way. Also relieving that emotional pain will bring your physical pain down, a bonus.
 
i've done therapy most of my life and am currently seeing a therapist and have seen numerous psychologists and got my meds worked out to what suits me best so now i get all my meds from my regular doctor
 
I agree Life is hard but it's what you make of it. I have had some terrible days...some days where I would sleep to forget and only to wake to realize I am still in this shitty place. BUT you have to work with what you have. For example, I live in Upstate NY and it's terribly boring, terrible job, depressing sexless relationship, I gained about 40 pounds, all my friends left the area, my parents just divorced (harder for me tha I had thought), I was lonely, totally in debt, failing school.

I pushed through it and although I am still in debt but paying it off slowly, I have a new job, took a break from school. I also have a supportive boyfriend now, I lost 30 pounds, and I now go to concerts all the time and started DJing (my true passion). Sure, this isn't my dream, but it's way better than I was and I was letting everything I cared about go including myself. I didn't care about gaining weight so I slept and ate more. Now I excercise and try to eat healthy, it's not just a goal to obtain but it also gives you that little push in the right direction towards happiness. It does not come easy and it takes work but once you get to certian place in your life that even makes you a bit happier then it makes it worth it and pushes you more to make you realize you can cahnge some things in your life for the better.
 
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. I can empathise, I've been having some difficulties myself - not with depression like you but with panic and anxiety and feelings of melancholy.

Do you mind if I ask, do you ever smoke cannabis? If so, have you ever tried a pure sativa? Did you find it helped uplift your mood.
 
Hey artificial emotion I know you mean well but if Mr flowers is anything like me, cannabis won't help at all. I used to smoke weed daily in my teens. I stopped for a while and then when I tried it again made me super paranoid anxious. Mr Flowers, I do follow your threads and I hope your situation improves. Remind me, are you seeing a therapist. Unfortunately you've got a vicious double whammy physical pain and emotional problems. Hang in there mate, speak to someone and you will feel better. When I'm down I like to play the soundtracks from Rocky films but I'm a chessy mofo!
 
I've been struggling with monotony/boredom/apathy....really gets to me sometimes.....fuck I've lost lots of people, had to go through friends offing themselves (suicide) and parents that never really pushed me to do anything....but I love my parents tons.

I think you just have got to want it bad. You've got to want to feel better bad, and then you will. I really want to shake my life up, Its time to mix this shit up and make it interesting again. Life has too many possibilities to always be drugged or stoned or high every damn day to fill in the blanks.
 
Ozekat said:
I think you just have got to want it bad. You've got to want to feel better bad, and then you will. I really want to shake my life up, Its time to mix this shit up and make it interesting again. Life has too many possibilities to always be drugged or stoned or high every damn day to fill in the blanks.
Click to expand...

I agree with you on this. If only I could make it actually happen though... :(
 
I can relate. Sorry to hear your having such a tough time. I have been in pain for alot of years and had disk replacement in back done 2 years ago. Pain alone can be the roots of major depression. Especially pain that drs won't treat because there scared. Hang in there friend.
 
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