Dresden
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2010
- Messages
- 3,212
Been sober since July 19th, 2017. Life is a drag. Was so much happier on drugs. Have seething, pent up rage at not being able to get high anymore. Hate everyone. In an expensive halfway house. Stuck on Step 8 because I self-righteously believe I haven't done more than a few people wrong at most, but even if I have, I'm not sorry. Can't even afford cigarettes. Pick cig stubs out of the trash when I can. No job. No car. Very little money. No motivation without stims. I'll be damned if I die sober. It's my prerogative. I'm ready to go to war over this. All the good drugs--acid & ecstasy--disappeared with Haley's comet more or less. I have brilliant chemical ideas but am heckled by foolish, disrespectufl chemical neophytes on a daily basis. Have neurosyphilis but no one believes me. Am dependent on antipsychotics for sleep. Ready to die.