its been 2-3 months and I've been what some call "clean". yes, I use suboxone and gabapentin daily because I am scripted for a number of reasons, but I am no longer putting a needle in my arm and no longer spending every dollar I have on dope! it makes me sick to even think that I put that type of money on something that has ruined my life in so many ways; I feel I have moved on and I am ready for the next thing in life.
I am 32yrs old and have fucked up way too many times; I am finally starting to come clean, be clean, and stay clean, and feel I have a wonderful road infront of me. this is not something I have thought in the past when trying to get clean but I have moved on in so many ways; I recently moved into a new apartment; its actually my grandmothers house who passed away and left it to her son, my father, who is putting my name on it and will be leaving the house to me. he and I have working side by side for the past 3 months and he sees the change; I was working Software Sales for years and it drove me nuts; I shot dope in the bathrooms and would be miserable 8-5. since getting clean I left the job and started working w/ my father which is actual labor work and through the company he runs, so its a lot different but I feel alive and I am NOT MISERABLE DAILY!
I changed jobs, as i just mentioned. I changed locations. I changed my outlook on life. I have found a girl who I truly believe is amazing, and seems to be a lot like me, which is another thing I like. yes, she was a past user herself but has been clean (on maintenance) and doing great herself. all these things now put a smile on my face; this is an actual smile and not just me faking which has been happening for many years.
seriously, I am finally happy. I got my license back - imagine!? I have a breathalyzer in the car - I DONT CARE! I was never a drinker anyway, even w/ 2 DUI's. so bye-bye alcohol - no worries there. I am just confident with my life for the first time in a long time and I actually have people, family, other looking at my differently; looking at me as a NORMAL HUMAN BEING and someone who can get stuff done w/ life.
I have no been this happy in a long ass fucking time!
heroin has fucking ruined my life for many years and its finally time I say GOODBYE! for good!
I am 32yrs old and have fucked up way too many times; I am finally starting to come clean, be clean, and stay clean, and feel I have a wonderful road infront of me. this is not something I have thought in the past when trying to get clean but I have moved on in so many ways; I recently moved into a new apartment; its actually my grandmothers house who passed away and left it to her son, my father, who is putting my name on it and will be leaving the house to me. he and I have working side by side for the past 3 months and he sees the change; I was working Software Sales for years and it drove me nuts; I shot dope in the bathrooms and would be miserable 8-5. since getting clean I left the job and started working w/ my father which is actual labor work and through the company he runs, so its a lot different but I feel alive and I am NOT MISERABLE DAILY!
I changed jobs, as i just mentioned. I changed locations. I changed my outlook on life. I have found a girl who I truly believe is amazing, and seems to be a lot like me, which is another thing I like. yes, she was a past user herself but has been clean (on maintenance) and doing great herself. all these things now put a smile on my face; this is an actual smile and not just me faking which has been happening for many years.
seriously, I am finally happy. I got my license back - imagine!? I have a breathalyzer in the car - I DONT CARE! I was never a drinker anyway, even w/ 2 DUI's. so bye-bye alcohol - no worries there. I am just confident with my life for the first time in a long time and I actually have people, family, other looking at my differently; looking at me as a NORMAL HUMAN BEING and someone who can get stuff done w/ life.
I have no been this happy in a long ass fucking time!
heroin has fucking ruined my life for many years and its finally time I say GOODBYE! for good!
Having a good support network is a great way to stay clean, keep the scary thoughts at bay. Now just gotta keep it up til the day comes when you can think of dope and feel nothing for it!
