life after

I went to the doctor today & this is a doctor I only see once a year. The last time I saw him I was not walking so well. I still had another surgery to go. I was still doing physical therapy daily and still healing. We weren't sure about our injuries, the outcome of them and what it all really meant. We really did not understand the extent of my husband's health problems and exactly what was going on with him. We simply did not understand what it all meant for us especially long term. We didn't realize he would forever be disabled & never have use of his left arm. We had no idea what the future held for us. Today, a year later, my doctor and his nurse were asking more questioning about the wreck. I was asked how I was doing. I was ask how my husband was doing. He even ask if we got an apology from the guy who hit us. The whole conversation brought back a lot of sad feelings and depression really. I mean I knew those feelings were there. Hell, I deal with the feelings and sadness of the situation everyday, but it really makes me sad to look back and really think about it. To think about all we've been through. All the hurt, all the pain, all the struggles and the sorrow, to think about all that we have lost. It makes me wonder how the rest of our life is going to be. It's nothing like we had originally thought our life would be when we got married, that's for sure. That life was stolen from us when that guy crossed the centerline. We will now struggle financially for the rest of our lives, just pay off the hospital and doctor bills. We never got an apology and I doubt we ever will. I'd much rather that guy pay some of the the hundreds of thousands of dollars in hospital and doctor bill, that continue to mount & will continue for the rest of our life. I do sometimes wonder if that guy ever thinks about us. I doubt that he's thought of us or that day since he paid his traffic ticket. So much was taken from us on Sunday afternoon and we can never get it back. I'm going to end this one now because at this point I've just made myself even more depressed.

 

What a terrible person this idiot was to both of you. Not a single visit at the hospital?
I believe life goes in circles and that person will pay somehow, I´ve seen this happening many times and have also heard that even if don´t know, nature has its ways to balance.
I also believe that you and your husband will deal with this better and better with time.
Don´t be sad. You are alive and together with your husband. You mentioned you have a place by the mountains. Think about that. My best wishes, Erik

 

Erikmen, Thanks for the kind words! Its so hard not to feel sad & depressed about the whole situation. Sometimes I wish I would have died in the accident & I know my husband feels the same way. We both have good days & bad days. Today is a bad one. I really feel like this guy is a terrible person, since he has made no effort at all to contract us in any way. I really hope things get better for us, but I do have my doubts. My husband had 2 strokes at the site of the accident, due to the amount of blood loss, so his attitude & demeanor is completely different than what it use to be & he holds a bitter grudge, that he will never let go of! Honestly before the accident I can say we had an almost perfect life. We both had great paying jobs & could have about whatever we wanted, I mean we were not rich by no means, but we worked hard for what we have. Now I just feel like its all went to shit. My husband is on disability & the monthly check is what he would make in just one week, so money is always an issue now! Especially since the hospital bills are outrageous & continue to mount. He has another surgery coming up next month. His leg fracture will not heal, so all this is far from over! I hope it does gets better in time, surly it can get worse... I hope. I just feel like everything is a challenge now, even getting out of the damn bed in the morning. We cant do a lot of the things we use to & that is very depressing. I wanted to go hiking today to see the leaves changing, but I haven't been since the accident & I would have to keep it an easy hike. Before I could go hike wherever I wanted & at any level. Now I'm not really sure what I can do. Thanks Again!

Jennie

I truly believe in Karma & I know he will get what is coming to him. I may never see it but I believe it will happen. I will try to keep my head held high but it is rough some day.