Numbers, 0-9.
My voices argue with me. They say that this is but one system. I can rationalize and simplify, and I know why I use them. But it's not just these letters, and these numbers. Patterns would happen anyways.
Not just around me, either. I just have eyes. My dad was kicked out of an experiment at his university, conducted my a guy who was testing something with vision- I don't know what it was. But he said my dad was cheating, and kicked him out. He said it was impossible that my dad saw what he did. Story, or tall-tale (he doesn't lie), it's one of the prominent ones that my dad told... That and beating a record for the satan course, er, obstacle course in officer's training school, three times, beating his own time twice after the first. And flying observation, and dating the actress who played wonder woman, and the time when the king cobra raised up in front of him in the jungle a foot or two away, eye level, and the time his error caused the death of a holy cow.
I take hints from my past.
I really love RoboCop. I watched it a lot as a child. ED-209 is a robot that the original RoboCop was up against, at some point.
One girl I began to crush on/take interest in, after Marilyn, and after I saw "patterns", was Zena Grey.
Marilyn had framed prints that I had, by her father, Alex Grey, that my mother gave me the Christmas before, along with giving me the watch, for the Christmas we spent together. The print number was 26/100 for these. The framing. The timing. 26 letters in this common alphabet, now, that I used to communicate- that the world at the time that it was connected, used as a standard. My jaw hurts. My ears have hurt/had chronic disease, at times.
When else would "I" come?
I'm not asking for anything. Maybe attention. Maybe for you to pay attention to yourselves. Maybe for you to stop being such fucking assholes. Not you. Maybe you. I don't know.
I look at Zena's name, and I have struggled with things (I divert, and don't make sense because of it, I look at her name, and it's interesting: I'll get around to explaining). At one time I thought I might have some romantic destiny with her. This makes me uncomfortable (I don't know her, and I question my motivation). She was the first red-haired girl that I associated some specific way. I can't explain. The archetype red-head that I see in paintings. I saw her before Marilyn, who was the first red-haired girl I dated.
I crucify myself.
I forgot about her- Zena. Then I remembered her. I masturbated to her, when I roomed with Charles, at IU. That's when I first saw her. They all have that color of hair, like fire. Charles, Marilyn, Zena.
Back to the alphabet. Z and A. Zena's name. ZA. ZA. Lotus. Like my life. Like life itself, I guess. Others can word it better than me. Grey. I understand.
I thought at one point I had destiny. Now I know I just need to love. Even if I don't, always. That's the only thing that is 100%, even if I die with it. Even if I'm on my knees, and and army is coming at me, and I have another choice... To not love, and to evade death. I would choose love, and die. She is just an example. I have had many examples, but she has been special, because she has tested my desire. My desire for... I guess, what I perceived to be success in the world, by her father, and association with the popularity of the band, Tool, who I thought, and still think, are cool. And Marilyn being on Maynard, when everything came to a certain end. I'm not quite sure how it all connects, but nothing is more than a step (?) away.
ZA, Mask, but it's backwards.
I'm connected to whatever I see. I am whatever I see. Really see.
Her mother paints images of another language- or letters that she made. Even if I don't, I know I should, love, everyone. So I admit it.
Next, 209, Zena, and Melissa (who is cousins with Paige)...
My voices argue with me. They say that this is but one system. I can rationalize and simplify, and I know why I use them. But it's not just these letters, and these numbers. Patterns would happen anyways.
Not just around me, either. I just have eyes. My dad was kicked out of an experiment at his university, conducted my a guy who was testing something with vision- I don't know what it was. But he said my dad was cheating, and kicked him out. He said it was impossible that my dad saw what he did. Story, or tall-tale (he doesn't lie), it's one of the prominent ones that my dad told... That and beating a record for the satan course, er, obstacle course in officer's training school, three times, beating his own time twice after the first. And flying observation, and dating the actress who played wonder woman, and the time when the king cobra raised up in front of him in the jungle a foot or two away, eye level, and the time his error caused the death of a holy cow.
I take hints from my past.
I really love RoboCop. I watched it a lot as a child. ED-209 is a robot that the original RoboCop was up against, at some point.
One girl I began to crush on/take interest in, after Marilyn, and after I saw "patterns", was Zena Grey.
Marilyn had framed prints that I had, by her father, Alex Grey, that my mother gave me the Christmas before, along with giving me the watch, for the Christmas we spent together. The print number was 26/100 for these. The framing. The timing. 26 letters in this common alphabet, now, that I used to communicate- that the world at the time that it was connected, used as a standard. My jaw hurts. My ears have hurt/had chronic disease, at times.
When else would "I" come?
I'm not asking for anything. Maybe attention. Maybe for you to pay attention to yourselves. Maybe for you to stop being such fucking assholes. Not you. Maybe you. I don't know.
I look at Zena's name, and I have struggled with things (I divert, and don't make sense because of it, I look at her name, and it's interesting: I'll get around to explaining). At one time I thought I might have some romantic destiny with her. This makes me uncomfortable (I don't know her, and I question my motivation). She was the first red-haired girl that I associated some specific way. I can't explain. The archetype red-head that I see in paintings. I saw her before Marilyn, who was the first red-haired girl I dated.
I crucify myself.
I forgot about her- Zena. Then I remembered her. I masturbated to her, when I roomed with Charles, at IU. That's when I first saw her. They all have that color of hair, like fire. Charles, Marilyn, Zena.
Back to the alphabet. Z and A. Zena's name. ZA. ZA. Lotus. Like my life. Like life itself, I guess. Others can word it better than me. Grey. I understand.
I thought at one point I had destiny. Now I know I just need to love. Even if I don't, always. That's the only thing that is 100%, even if I die with it. Even if I'm on my knees, and and army is coming at me, and I have another choice... To not love, and to evade death. I would choose love, and die. She is just an example. I have had many examples, but she has been special, because she has tested my desire. My desire for... I guess, what I perceived to be success in the world, by her father, and association with the popularity of the band, Tool, who I thought, and still think, are cool. And Marilyn being on Maynard, when everything came to a certain end. I'm not quite sure how it all connects, but nothing is more than a step (?) away.
ZA, Mask, but it's backwards.
I'm connected to whatever I see. I am whatever I see. Really see.
Her mother paints images of another language- or letters that she made. Even if I don't, I know I should, love, everyone. So I admit it.
Next, 209, Zena, and Melissa (who is cousins with Paige)...