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lets share your stories of life in prison and cop shop cells (happy sad shocking )

This all feels a bit like that scene in Jaws where they start comparing shark bite scars:)

Did get locked up for the day once for suspected TWOC on a motorcycle, it's a long story but the bike wasn't stolen and I got put later the same day, so I'll be Roy Scheider looking at my appendix scar;)
 
I was turnin niggaz out on a daily basis when I was in the pen. I got turnt out in the end but it was all love.
 
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think the prisons like to get the cons to the gym and most people hit the gym when their doing time, it helps to pass the time so your fkd and you get your head down at night aswell.....all the jails are ticking time bomb's, l have had some laughs in the jail am not 1 of they peeps who go behind there door fk man that would drive me nuts a like to get out n mingle and get a bit of banter,it defo helps take things off my mind.

a belevie its up to you on how you spend your time at hmp some go in and do their own head in moaning about the sentence ok everybody think's the same your gutted but your here and not going anywhere so you need to try and make the best of a shitty sitiuation and how you can spend your time to make it go in quicker,and fk the cunt judge they cant keep you forever (well unless you keep being a bad girl ) they took away your freedom but dont let them take your spirit, everybodys does their time but a just feel if you accept it your half way threw your battle.


is it still the same in england ,where they do court's on a sat cause up in scotland if your arrested on a fri your in till court opens on the mon,and the long weekends are the worse thru till tue oh dear l have done a few of them their pure killers
 
cazamac said:
think the prisons like to get the cons to the gym and most people hit the gym when their doing time, it helps to pass the time so your fkd and you get your head down at night aswell.....all the jails are ticking time bomb's, l have had some laughs in the jail am not 1 of they peeps who go behind there door fk man that would drive me nuts a like to get out n mingle and get a bit of banter,it defo helps take things off my mind.

a belevie its up to you on how you spend your time at hmp some go in and do their own head in moaning about the sentence ok everybody think's the same your gutted but your here and not going anywhere so you need to try and make the best of a shitty sitiuation and how you can spend your time to make it go in quicker,and fk the cunt judge they cant keep you forever (well unless you keep being a bad girl ) they took away your freedom but dont let them take your spirit, everybodys does their time but a just feel if you accept it your half way threw your battle.


is it still the same in england ,where they do court's on a sat cause up in scotland if your arrested on a fri your in till court opens on the mon,and the long weekends are the worse thru till tue oh dear l have done a few of them their pure killers
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Isn't it illegal to hold you that long without charging? Or do they do extensions or something? It's quite unlikely you'll get held more than 24 hrs unless you've got some sort of previous imprisonment in England.
 
maybe am to stoned but how will this give away who you are mr blunts..... they cunts look for any reason to give you more charges cause it all goes on their record they need to be makeing arreste's or their pulled with their bosse's think it's standered to mess them about cause it get's right on their nerves =D
 
cazamac said:
maybe am to stoned but how will this give away who you are mr blunts..... they cunts look for any reason to give you more charges cause it all goes on their record they need to be makeing arreste's or their pulled with their bosse's think it's standered to mess them about cause it get's right on their nerves =D
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As in a lot of people I know use BL as lurkers and I just don't want my acc linked to me in real life.
 
cazamac said:
maybe am to stoned but how will this give away who you are mr blunts..... they cunts look for any reason to give you more charges cause it all goes on their record they need to be makeing arreste's or their pulled with their bosse's think it's standered to mess them about cause it get's right on their nerves =D
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=D if he explained that it would definitely give something away !
 
I've had a couple of overnight stays in the local cells, one time I had almost gotten away with breaking into a school while drunk and out of my head on diazepam, I ran into some randoms on the street and we decided to break into a school, we ended up stealing a ton of chocolate from the vending machines, we messed around in the gym and then we left, it wasn't long before we were stopped by the police, the other two randoms were known to the policeman as runaway foster kids so he took them away. I explained my jumper and pockets full of chocolate as christmas presents 8) the policeman bought the excuse and let me go. I was about 5 minutes from getting home when the van came along and picked me up, the other two grassed me up it seems.

Whilst in the back of the policevan and handcuffed I managed to eat a 14 strip of 10mg diazepams, I told the police that I'd done this when we arrived at the station, but they didn't believe me, that was until I passed out in the cell, I ended up being taken to A&E and staying overnight then was taken back to the cells in the morning where I was interviewed and I eventually got a caution for the breaking into the school and causing damage there. I would have got a lot worse than a caution for that if I hadn't taken all that diaz in the back of the van, they only really let me off lightly because I seemed a bit mentally unstable.

The caution was pretty annoying for the next 5 years though as I had to declare it when applying for a job which left me not getting interviews at all until it became spent and I didn't have to declare it.
 
I bet you any amount of money you like that caution will still be coming up on CRB checks mugz. The cunts told me they expired after 5 years - not true.
 
It didn't come up on the CRB check for my current job, which I applied for and got and had to have a CRB check for once the caution was officially spent. Although I think that you may be right in a way and it would come up on a super enhanced CRB check which is only done for certain jobs.
 
Mr Smokes Blunts. said:
Isn't it illegal to hold you that long without charging? Or do they do extensions or something? It's quite unlikely you'll get held more than 24 hrs unless you've got some sort of previous imprisonment in England.
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Nah. You get arrested by one on the end of his Friday shift, and then transerred to the weekend staff, then they have to look through all the weekend paperwork, and depending on where you are on said 'list', a potential Monday release isn't unheard of.
 
i thought cautions expired after three years but never off an enhanced CRB check?

i love having to explain my cannabis cultivation one at job interviews, but they never ask me about my cautions from way back when.

been in the cells a few times when i was younger for being a dick, and in more recent times dawn raided for my love of horticulture.

always ask for a blanket, always ask for a cup of hot chocolate, always ask for a copy of your rights to make paper aeroplanes with.
 
I slightly grazed a police car a few years ago and got a bit cocky with the ocifer who drove it so he nicked me.
After a few thousand recitals of 'I know a song that will get on your nerves' ( patrick swayze style and lots of others) they decided to do the decent thing and set me free.
 
YellowPolkaDotHalo said:
I slightly grazed a police car a few years ago and got a bit cocky with the ocifer who drove it so he nicked me.
After a few thousand recitals of 'I know a song that will get on your nerves' ( patrick swayze style and lots of others) they decided to do the decent thing and set me free.
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the thing is with the noisy cunts in the cells is that they are only really pissing off the other poor sods locked up, the popo are sat there earning a decent wage, know when they are going home and are used to the noise. if i could have drilled through the wall and strangled the guy in the cell next to me who was shouting bollocks for 8 hours plus i would probably still be locked up now.

next time keep quite and do a jobby on the floor, they love that.
 
Well I'm not good at keeping quite when ive been incarcerated just for nicking a policemans hat and slightly grazing his car.. Ok his panda was a right off, he probably spilt a lot of his coffee and had to wear a neck brace but thats not the point.

Anyway dont try to steal my thunder ya mug.. i'm the daddy!
 
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watsons torment said:
always ask for a blanket, always ask for a cup of hot chocolate, always ask for a copy of your rights to make paper aeroplanes with.
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Top-tips are them, Watson - especially on the hot chocolate shout. The horror (the horror!) of police coffee is definitely best avoided... and what arrives if you ask for tea should be classified as biochemical terrorism :|

They do always seem to treat you with a bit more care and attention if you ask for the instructions (well, that "Rights & Responsibilities" book that nodody else has ever asked to read before usually) though. When you know you're gonna be in there for the duration every little really does help and if you've planted a lil seed or two in their tiny minds that you may not be as much of a clueless cunt as the rest of the guests whose needs they're catering for that day you do seem to get sent to the top of the list for fag breaks, hot drinks and brekky/lunch/dins (if you can stomach it - I'm with Cherry in actually finding the food to be generally not half as bad as expected).

Whenever I'm nicked at home they usually let me take in a book of my own to read too which is a true luxory cos having nowt to do but read the graffiti and maybe have a wank to pass the time wears thin rather quickly...

On the noisy cunts in cells bit, my good golly gosh those arseholes drive yer nuts don't they? As if being in the cells ain't a shitty enough way to spend a day or two :\

Got nicked within minutes of leaving work (as a barman) smoking me post-pub spliff one zero-tolerance festive season clampdown. The coppers actually apologised for having to take me in for nowt but a spliff minus a few tokes... didn't stop the cunts from blatantly smoking most of the rest of it between themselves whilst they were arresting me. Didn't even bother trying too hard to disguise the fact either. Cheeky cunts :!

Anyhoo, everyone else in the cells that night was in for booze-related stuff and there were lots of 'em - 10+ peeps to a cell. As I was the only fella there who was being quiet, cooperative and not being a cockend in general, they assured me they'd do the decent thing and make sure I was processed quickly "unlike these noisy bastards doing our fuckin' head in all night" so they said. Never trust a copper. Never. Cos I was so quiet they basically forgot and/or ignored me and made sure the loudest/most obnoxious pricks were out soonest so they could get some peace. I ended up being the last person in the nick to be dealt with - said it was cos they didn't want to have to fine or prosecute me and had to wait til a partularly senior senior officer came in on the morning shift to caution me. Frankly I'd rather have paid the fine than spend the whole fuckin' night stuck in a cell rammed with loud, aggressive, obnoxious drunks with precious little control over any of their bodily functions :\
 
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