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TDS Legal drug to stay alive

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Sir_psycho

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DXM, Propylhexedrine, kratom, Alcohol, Benzydamine.

I need something that will give me the will to live... Which one of these compounds would be ideal for longterm use?

Feel free to suggest any other legal substance.
 
In my opinion, the most benign substance on that list is Kratom, and even at that it's precarious. Alcohol will make you feel worse over time, and Propylhexedrine and DXM are not sustainable and will also make your mental situation worse. Kratom does act as a mild SSRI. If any, go with the Kratom but be forwarned it can be mildly addicting and it may not be legal for much longer. What's going on with you that you need motivation to live, and I am sorry to hear you feel that way right now.
 
Sir_psycho said:
DXM, Propylhexedrine, kratom, Alcohol, Benzydamine.

I need something that will give me the will to live... Which one of these compounds would be ideal for longterm use?

Feel free to suggest any other legal substance.
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I'd say Kratom but it's having sever legal issues atm.
 
What is making life so unbearable? (I am not asking this as a way to minimize that feeling--just to understand it better.)
 
herbavore said:
What is making life so unbearable? (I am not asking this as a way to minimize that feeling--just to understand it better.)
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I don't know, my life is currently great but I still don't have the will to live or do anything.

There are times where I feel ok or great but the idea of ending my life never really goes away... I even have a plan to end everything painlessly but I haven't found the courage to do it also I don't want my mom to go through all that crap.

Those freaking mood swings started over a year ago and I doubt that it will ever go away so I figured that I'm gonna have to deal with it for few years atleast and drugs are my only option.
 
Moreaux said:
In my opinion, the most benign substance on that list is Kratom, and even at that it's precarious. Alcohol will make you feel worse over time, and Propylhexedrine and DXM are not sustainable and will also make your mental situation worse. Kratom does act as a mild SSRI. If any, go with the Kratom but be forwarned it can be mildly addicting and it may not be legal for much longer. What's going on with you that you need motivation to live, and I am sorry to hear you feel that way right now.
Click to expand...

Is kratom more euphoric than DXM?

See my explanation below
 
Sir_psycho said:
I don't know, my life is currently great but I still don't have the will to live or do anything.

There are times where I feel ok or great but the idea of ending my life never really goes away... I even have a plan to end everything painlessly but I haven't found the courage to do it also I don't want my mom to go through all that crap.

Those freaking mood swings started over a year ago and I doubt that it will ever go away so I figured that I'm gonna have to deal with it for few years atleast and drugs are my only option.
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Please see a professional- they can help
You get medication that will stabilize your moods. Self medicating is a quick and easy way to destroy your life and make your situation significantly worse.

Kratom can be both a mild upper or a mild downer - it is not a psychedelic. If you take a little of it it gives energy, if you take a lot of it is slows you down. You can build a tolerance to it, but the effects are fairly consistent and remain somif tolerance dictates you have to increase your dose - there is still a ratio for stimulation/sedation. Kratom will not get you high in the traditional sense, but getting high is only going to make your mood swings worse - in your situation you should avoid getting high. You can't rely on DXM - its way to hard on the brain and organs to be used daily.
 
No thanks, I've already done my research on mood stabilisers. Those things have have 100s of side effects even meth seems to be safer than them.

Honestly though, I don't care if my life gets "destroyed" since it's not going to get any better I might as well get high as much as possible.

Hard on the brain in what way? Are you talking about their neurotoxicity? Because I read that it could be prevented with benzos and barbs.
 
Well if that's the way you feel and you've thought it through then best of luck to you. I totally understand. I'm in a similar place in my life. However I'm old now and have had a full and my fill of life. Hopefully there's nothing after and I'll be glad to be gone. I never really have felt at home in this world and this culture. For me now it's kind of like leaving a bad movie instead of sitting through it to the end.
 
Sir_psycho said:
No thanks, I've already done my research on mood stabilisers. Those things have have 100s of side effects even meth seems to be safer than them.

Honestly though, I don't care if my life gets "destroyed" since it's not going to get any better I might as well get high as much as possible.

Hard on the brain in what way? Are you talking about their neurotoxicity? Because I read that it could be prevented with benzos and barbs.
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Where are you getting your information as it's seriously wrong on so many levels. First, I agree mood stabilizers can be dangerous but they are much safer than meth. Second, benzo are very damaging with respect that they stop neuroregeneration, so if you use them in conjunction with other drugs you will not heal. That is a big reason why they are now being linked to Alzheimer's and dementia. Benzos will also prevent healing from the regular wear and tear of life with no substances so you still suffer degenerative effects the longer you stay on benzos. Benzos will also increase depression and anxiety (this depends on dose and duration), and quickly build tolerance which is problematic as the side effects increase exponentially as the dose increases. They are a literally hell to get off of. I speak with 17 years experience on benzos, 10 years taking them and 7 years recovering from them. I have spent years studying them and have no problems discussing their neuropharmacology with you and will provide you with links to the studies. I will warn the language used is expert level so be prepared to do a lot of side research to fully absorb what the studies are talking about.

Regarding barbs, I haven't really studied them. It's virtually impossible to get a running script as they're insidiously addictive and do not play well with other drugs (not trying to bash them - they feel great, they would have been my DOC if I had a reliable source back in the day). I know they are not a sustainable habit and it's very easy to accidentally die from either a bad combo with other depressants or too high a dose in and of itself.

Anyway, you don't seem to be understanding by what people mean by your life will be "destroyed". We're not just talking about decreasing your opportunities for success in life, we are referencing the mental hell that accompanies self medicating. I promise that over time if you try self medicating you will feel a hundred times worse than you do now, and your moods will be even more out of control. This is a great way to end up in jail or a mental institution, and then you lose all autonomy and you take whatever drugs they mandate with zero say in the matter.
 
Meth isn't as toxic as lithium or valproic acid to most organs... Meth gives you something in in return (euphoria, stimulation) even if it kills you unlike those nasty mood stabilisers.

Sure give me the links, I love reading about drug pharmacology.

I don't plan on using benzos everyday, I plan on using them on rotation.. Like barbs for for 2 non consecutive days, 2 days benzos and 3 days alcohol. This way I won't be dependent on any of them.

I have access to a huge supply of phenobarbital. I'm not actually scared of oding on any downer. ;)

Maybe... but so far alcohol has been doing a very good job at making me me happy. That's why I'm planning to use "legal" substances so that I don't get in trouble even if someone finds about my habit.

The chances of ending up in a mental hospital are pretty slim if I dose responsibly, don't you think?


Ahhh my moods... There are days when I'm extremely happy and alive (like euphoria from coke), then sometimes I'm very irritable... (those are the good days)

Then I feel a lot of emotional pain, I even end up crying for hours. I feel tired without the desire to do anything at all. Sometimes my mood remains normal for a while.

The worst part is when when my mood changes within hours for absolutely no reason.
 
Have you thought about therapy? I know a lot people are pretty negative about the value of working with a mental health professional but I am kind of skeptical of the automatic "take a med" approach. Also, you may want to investigate why or what's triggering your moods.
 
Given your mood description, lithium, and valproic acid I'm guessing you've been diagnosed with bipolar? From speaking with other people who have a bipolar diagnosis there are other options, and many times it takes a combination of medications and time to find the right combo. I know it's hell trying to get the mess right, but please don't just dismiss professional help. Recreational drugs are not a solution to bipolar - not even close. I understand the euphoria but there's such a fine line between euphoria and chasing a high and that line gets crossed early on. The more you use them the more you will have to use over time and the more dependent you will get to function. Come downs are tough mentally and withdrawal tougher.

I feel like I'm lecturing you and that really isn't my intention. Bipolar is one on the most difficult mental illnesses to have (imo) and I am sorry that you are experiencing it. I've known many people who have the condition - they're extremely bright and intuitive, super creative and seemingly unstoppable when they're up, absolutely tragic when they're down. A lot of what I am writing to you is cautionary and also something to consider in the future. I know you're going to try it your way, and if that doesn't work out please think about what I've said. I am going to link some studies later this evening.

If you're going to rotate drugs please don't combine barbiturates and anything else on that list. I also don't know if kratom is going to help you - it does hit two of the opiate receptors but it is very mild, and it acts like a mild ssri. Unfortunately all I can offer is support and harm reduction as I don't have any insight into bipolar outside of know what worked for friends and basic clinical info so I have no valid suggestions, I wish I did.

How long have you been trying to get it stabilized with pharmaceuticals? What have you tried, and how many different doctors have you seen?
 
Moreaux said:
Given your mood description, lithium, and valproic acid I'm guessing you've been diagnosed with bipolar? From speaking with other people who have a bipolar diagnosis there are other options, and many times it takes a combination of medications and time to find the right combo. I know it's hell trying to get the mess right, but please don't just dismiss professional help. Recreational drugs are not a solution to bipolar - not even close. I understand the euphoria but there's such a fine line between euphoria and chasing a high and that line gets crossed early on. The more you use them the more you will have to use over time and the more dependent you will get to function. Come downs are tough mentally and withdrawal tougher.

I feel like I'm lecturing you and that really isn't my intention. Bipolar is one on the most difficult mental illnesses to have (imo) and I am sorry that you are experiencing it. I've known many people who have the condition - they're extremely bright and intuitive, super creative and seemingly unstoppable when they're up, absolutely tragic when they're down. A lot of what I am writing to you is cautionary and also something to consider in the future. I know you're going to try it your way, and if that doesn't work out please think about what I've said. I am going to link some studies later this evening.

If you're going to rotate drugs please don't combine barbiturates and anything else on that list. I also don't know if kratom is going to help you - it does hit two of the opiate receptors but it is very mild, and it acts like a mild ssri. Unfortunately all I can offer is support and harm reduction as I don't have any insight into bipolar outside of know what worked for friends and basic clinical info so I have no valid suggestions, I wish I did.

How long have you been trying to get it stabilized with pharmaceuticals? What have you tried, and how many different doctors have you seen?
Click to expand...


Actually, I've never being diagnosed. I just did a lot of research on how to "stabilise" my mood.

From what I've learn, mood stabilisers and antidepressants are the only current treatment for mood disorders... both of which are mediocre at their best. I do know that they are not a permanent solution but they do work in the short run and that's good enough for me.

Last night I had to drink some rum just so that I could stop crying and be able to move... so yeah recreational drugs are bad but they do work unlike their pharmaceutical counterparts.

Hopefully, I don't end up addicted to anything.I figured that comedowns could be taken care with barbs benzos and EtOH.

Thanks, I will.

Yup, phenobarbital's long half life is what's currently bothering me. Would be safe to take valium one after using it? I don't want to end up with hypoxic brain damage.

As long as it raises my dopamine everything will be ok.

I've never tried pharmaceuticals, the list of side effects were enough to make never want to even touch the pills again.
 
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