Leaving children to go to rehab?

[StaryNight]

I need motivation to leave my children to go to rehab. I've never left them except for a week once. Since they are so young (3 and 5) it's killing me.


I've been addicted to meth for a couple of months. I stay home with them. I'm a crappy mom. I stay in my room most of the day and night. I'm irritated easily. I hate being around anyone.
I want to be present in their lives, and right now I'm not. I may be there physically but not mentally.
I keep thinking, maybe I can quit on my own. I'm not sure if I can because in the past two months I've tried a few times. I can't go a day.

 

[rhun]

I'm going to move this to the Dark Side, where I think you'll get the most possible support.

But before I do that, I wanted to say that I was a child of a parent in active addiction. Addiction stole my father from me, I grew up desperately wanting my daddy back. And I was irreversibly damaged by the neglect and abandonment I suffered while growing up under his roof.

The other side to that is that I'm now a mother to a 6 month old boy. I've been clean since I found out I was pregnant. I could never be the amazing mom I today without recovery. I am blessed to be present and stable in his life. I don't have to miss out on watching him grow. Every day with him is the best day, he is such a gift.

Your kids deserve the very best version of yourself. You need to get help so you can be their mom. But you can't do this alone and you can't be there for them until you go get healthy. You can't take care of them if you can't even take care of yourself.

OD --> TDS

 

[JessFR]

When I was about the age your children are now, my mom left for a few weeks to go into hospital for depression and suicidal ideation. I don't really remember it, and so long as your children have somewhere safe to stay, they hopefully wont either. What they will remember is all the other weeks, and if you were there for them or not, if you were high all the time or not. It sounds like you need help. And your responsibility to them should be seen in that context. Kinda like putting on your oxygen mask in a plane before someone else. My advice is to go into rehab and get better. Your children need their mother far more for the rest of their lives than for a few weeks.

 

[neversickanymore]

Positive motivation is that if you are going to a decent rehab and really try and get everything positive you can snag you can gain allot of useful knowledge, hopefully begin to heal from your wounds and initiate changes in your thinkng and behavior, as well as a few weeks head start on the Devel.

These all have to potential to increase your odds of sucsess and increase the odds of you and yours exspierencng a substantialy better life.

The addict brain is certainly a whily bastard. I post the following with no judgment, ill will, or negativity. The addicted portion of your brain seems to be wispering that you cant handle going to rehab as you will be forced to leave your children for a time and may also be hitting you with fear, sorow, anxiety, aprwhension, guilt, shame. But it never wispers that a whole huge good portion of you already gone and needs to be found again. It does not bring up that continued active addiction could cause much greater or even permanent lapses from your childrens lives.

Im not trying to scare you into rehab, just trying to present an alternative way of looking at your situation. Addiction is one big mind screw. In active addiction and early recovery every thought process and emotion that leads to or drves use should be looked at a secound time. Addict thinking makes no sense. Its pure falaic confabulation.
With addict thinking all drains leed to the see and away from solid ground. and the see is active addiction.

If it were me I would hit the rehab hard and mine that place for all you can find. Then I would add In everything you can find that works for you from wherever you can find it. Rehab does not cure people. It introduces people to suitcase full of tools and wepons they can use to treat and heal themselfs from addiction.

Many rehabs have visitation days once a week or so. You may want to check and see if yours does.

I wish you the greatest suscess in the new chapter and in your recovery.

Your pretty lucky.. opertunity at a fresh start and a whole new life... and your the one at the wheel.

(Written on phone will edit later.)

 

[Runtoparadise]

As a Mother & a functional chronic pain patient & opiate addict, I would encourage you to go to rehab.

If you can have your children minded by a trustworthy & responsible friend/family member,- their care is of utmost importance, please go for it!!

I completely empathise with you regarding leaving your children, but you really have to take a step back & look at the big picture.

A week, two weeks, a month,- as long as your children are in a secure place your well being is paramount to the future of both your kids & yourself.

Just imagine child protection being tipped off & your rights to ever seeing your children again being abolished.

That thought alone I imagine will motivate you to rehabilitate.

I wish you a successful recovery, & inner peace

Rtp

 

[herbavore]

Do it now and you will never regret it. The opposite is also true--if you do not get help and get off the train it's going to pick up speed (no pun intended ) and before you know it you will be in danger of damaging your children or losing them altogether. The love for them comes through in your post. Now you need some love for you so that you can go back to loving them as healthy and present as you can be.

 

[Dresden]

Children are highly resilient, and you will hopefully come back from rehab a better person and mother. Besides, if you keep on using, then DFACS could take away your children and put them in foster homes if they find out about your methamphetamine addiction.