Leap of Faith

Today I met with someone that I think I can now officially call a true friend. She is a girl that I have know for a while, but never really been close to. When thinking about how I should have a better way to outlet myself, I thought I should take a chance & talk to her about my life.

At first, things were going well. We met at Burger King & over some lunch started to talk. I found myself telling her everything. Talking to her about my abusive history, suicidal thoughts, family problems, drug use, ADDICTION, therapy & so much more. She just sat there & listened to me. It felt so good to get it all out. Then, she started to tell me about her! I've never had this experience before. It was like we shared a moment & we trusted eachother.

Later on we were sitting & chatting at the park. By this time, we had shared so much with each other. I started to get in depth about my substance abuse; she pulled out a little pipe & packs it. Fuck! She started smoking, then passed it to me. I kept thinking that if i rejected it I would lose this new, real friend. So we smoked. The weed hit me fast, I was trippin so badly.

She started asking me all kinds of questions about my sex life & drugs. She ended up saying she wanted to get a g of coke. I called up my connect & made that shit happen. I got so caught up in it. The world got so distraught. I found someone to confide in & support me, but she wants into the life of drugs, & I'm wanting out.

What to do? Lose this connection (something I've never had before) in hopes to get & stay clean.. OR keep my new friend & my addiction.

 

thats really tricky dude, i have been in your position before with this one chick. i met her when i was all alone in life, had no one to talk to. i felt like no one liked me and i had no one to have that close 'connection' with. then i met this chick, and lets just say, i instantly felt like i'd found my best friend i'd been looking for all along. but, she was a very bad influence on me. i did all sorts of things like how you said you just hit her pipe so you wouldn't offend her, etc. but let me tell you, i regret most if not all of it now. you will find someone else who will help you make good choices for yourself in life. im not saying doing drugs is terrible at all times, but if you're giving in to her just to make yourself feel like you have a friend, that's not a good reason... just think about it. you have to respect yourself above all else. there's tons of other people in this world that will respect you and your choices and health too.