laze

Good eve bl,..

Check out this video of the show I was at last night:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOG4OzRyyeo

My friend Em and I (em is a guy btw), we found a funny hotel that was a Castle --- Marne


46_Castle%20Marne%20landscape%202008_full.JPG



Yea wasnt kidding... Seriously.

We both share the whole spouse issues----
and got a room with a hot tub.


6 grey goose and tonics, 2 joints, 3 bowls later ---we hot tubbed, and passed out in our pillow like bed.
Totally innocent so you know.

Em and i have been buddies for like 4 years or something. :)
--------------


today i smoked and watched the National Geographic special on the Gospel of Judas, and Decoding Maya Kings via Surf the channel... was so stoned passed out at seven

and I wake to still yet an empty house.

Things havent been so good with m and i as of recent.

I'd fondly say to friends we work amazingly well together and fight well together too.

I could choose to just let it all roll off my back and say its OK,, but it isnt.

Addictive, cyclical,

circle of a pattern in your emotions and behavior

is not OK. It is not OK...

A mirror of compulsive illusion is not real!

After 6 years of asking nicely-

-- I am not marrying someone who isnt attempting to resolve

deep seeded emotional traumas.

I have been asked a dozen times to do mescaline this summer--- how could I be expected to say yes! ???

There was a time, that my intuition and strong insight was respected and weighted...

now i feel discarded because it doesn't align with his ideals at this time.

not sure what to say about this little morningglory vine- but it aint doin so well.
===========

Ironic the thing that bothers me the most about the situation I am allowing engulf me.

Mind you,
I am the kind of person that wont smoke a J after midnight cuz of mental hangover the next day at work. Trust me when I am ---it is devastating to me, I am devastated.

So ignored and that I have told myself "he is so brilliant he will figured it out eventually" ...

Eventually is now, and now I am pissed--- I feel robbed in some ways of my humility.


some fucking thief stole my heart and some treasure along with it.
 
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