lay my head down to rest

[Mellabopper]

i think i'll just lay my head down to rest now
just so this day will end
i've had enough of it
and all i need
is a change
some rest
not sleep
rest

i'll think i'll stay home now
i'm not feeling very sociable
if i went out i wouldn't have much fun anyway
i'm just not in the mood to smile
and lately it seems
that's how i've been
and that's the only way i'll be.

i think i've forgotten how to let loose.
how to not worry so much.
how to smile
and how to relax.

i dont know if i'd rather scream or cry
or better yet
maybe scream a bit
then cry a bit more
curl up into a ball under the covers
and keep my door closed.

will anyone notice?
will anyone come around?

nah. i'm not keeping my hopes up.
i think i've learned my lesson.

it's all just a downward spiral
and now i'm in too deep to get out.

when did i get so tired?
so lonely
and so sad?
when did i stop knowing how to have fun
and how to make the most out of life?

when did i start to think
that no one cared anymore?

it's just that all of a sudden you realize things
and you can't go back.
you can't go back.
no matter how much you want to.

i think i liked things better back then.

so i think i'll lay my head down to rest now.
and cry myself to sleep.
knowing that when i wake
i'll just keep going on as if everything was fine.
i'll just keep going on
as i have been doing for as long as i can remember.

5-24-03

 

[harraser]

i wish i didnt feel this, but right now i do. I wish this wasnt such a perfect description of what ive been feeling, but it is. one thing though,

it's all just a downward spiral
and now i'm in too deep to get out.

wrong. this feeling will end, for both of us. i know it.

if you need an ear you know how to get a hold of me hun...

*hugs*

-ant

 

[Aja909]

"it's just that all of a sudden you realize things
and you can't go back.
you can't go back.
no matter how much you want to.

i think i liked things better back then.

so i think i'll lay my head down to rest now.
and cry myself to sleep.
knowing that when i wake
i'll just keep going on as if everything was fine.
i'll just keep going on
as i have been doing for as long as i can remember."



those are strong words Spork and it is as if you are reading my mind.

I've been feeling that way too lately =\


(((((Mella))))

 

[mr_fluffy]

it's just that all of a sudden you realize things
and you can't go back.
you can't go back.
no matter how much you want to.

that's bullshit. i know it, and most ppl here know it also. don't ever give up.

wonderful piece, if only as a reminder of a place i've been to too many times.

 

[neverwas]

i dont know if i'd rather scream or cry
or better yet
maybe scream a bit
then cry a bit more
curl up into a ball under the covers
and keep my door closed.

will anyone notice?
will anyone come around?

*hugs* hun. this is my head and heart so much and even right now. it gets to much a lot of the times but there are always people around to keep me afloat...friends are the best

 

[SnowFrog]

u prefectly explained everyday of my being the last 5 years and it is so damn frustrating not knowing how to get out of the slump. I ask and sometimes demand myself to think that life has to be better than this..and that the sun will shine again over my skies.

Great work!!

 

[Dagny]

Maybe being able to relax and find enjoyment is only possible when your other priorities allow it. Sometimes being happy can't be the most important thing, but that makes you so weary after a time. I hate that you're aching right now Mella. My hope is that the past you're missing, combined with the present that's not measuring up to your expectations, end up as the future that you deserve.

 

[unicorn83]

hang in there

it does get really tough sometimes, and being someone who gave up on life twice, but i guess something or someone wanted me to stay in this world and drive people crazy! i can only say one thing, cause as i remember anything anyone said sounded like bullshit to me, when i just wanted to get away from it all. But one thing someone once said to me, is think of the things u really want in life, and go get them, nothing comes to you and that's what ive been doing since, and i assure you im a much happier person right now.

Though just last night i felt the way you described it(amazing work!) but it comes and goes, and as time passes it fades way slowly but surely (or that's what im trying to convince myself)

good luck!

 

[frostyangel]

Sometimes, this is what you need just to gain that little bit of sanity back..

I've been around this corner way to many times.. sitting on my bed.. not caring to leave.. wondering if anyone would really even give a shit.. while their lifes moved on.. how is it that you become important in some way or another..

but .. you are the most important person to yourself..
do things for youself...

You don't need to take my advice.. but when I was feeling like this .. I got up.. walked around the park or the track field.. started exercising like crazy worked a hell of alot more.. because the more you take your mind off of something the sooner you start to forget.. these funks suck.. and you think that noone might understand.. but we do.. we have all be there... and when your in it.. you forget everything about yourself.. you wonder where it all went so wrong.. you dwell on all the wrongs in your life.. but when you get out of it.. you laugh at yourself..

Be strong.. but til then we'll all be strong for you..