Lasting fear after LSD trip

[Crazcass]

Hey guys,

about six weeks ago I had my first LSD experience, actually it was 1p LSD from a vendor that has a very good reputation in various forums. I have only tried peyote before, which didn't really go well. It made me feel really sick, and I got intense fear for about half an hour, before I puked and felt fine again. After that I still felt some fear for about two days after the trip, but very little so it didn't bother me.

So I wanted to see if I'll have a better experience on LSD. I was very excited and curious, so I dropped 75ug with my brother who was tripping with me. Now 75ug is supposed to be a small amount, but my brother and me both felt that especially the headspace was very strong. It felt very weird, I couldn't concentrate on my thoughts. At the beginning of the trip I got a little panicky for a few seconds because I felt I had no control over the situation anymore, but then I focused on my breath and calmed down pretty quickly. I didn't have any visuals, my brother did. For me the trip was neither negative nor positive.

Two weeks later, I was lying in my bed, reading something, when suddenly I felt a rush of fear coming up. I focused on my breath again and calmed down, but I was terrified that this would happen without having ingested anything. This was four weeks ago, and since then I have this fear which is sometimes very subtle, and sometimes so strong that I can't bear it. This really robs me of all enjoyment I previously felt in life, because I'm constantly living in fear. I'm terrified that I will have to keep living with this fear. And I don't even know what it is I'm afraid of. I have never been a very fearful person. My brother, by the way, doesn't have any kind of fear or effects that persisted until now.

I have considered going to a psychologist, but want to wait a little longer to see if it goes away. So my question is if anyone of you have had such an experience. There are no reports on the internet of people having the same problem, which makes me wonder even more about what happened too me. Normally people sometimes experience some kind of lasting fear or anxiety after a bad trip, or after a very large dose, but non of that was the case with me.

I hope some of you can help me, I'm pretty desperate right now.

Edit: I'm also thinking about taking another psychedelic, like shrooms, as kind of a self therapy method to find out what is causing the fear. But this could obviously result in a worsening of my condition, so this would be the last option. What do you think?

 

[JoeBloggs]

Sounds to me that what you're experiencing isn't a lingering after-effect of some kind from the acid, but it is possible that tripping brought up something within you that you might've been supressing either consciously or subconsciously. Seeing as though you said you aren't really sure what the fear/anxiety is about suggests that this has all been happening subconsciously.

As for getting to the bottom of it and finding out what's causing your anxiety/fear (they are pretty much the same thing) seeing a psychologist is probably your best option, if you see a doctor or a psychiatrist they might try to get you to take medication which might be unnecessary or exacerbate the problem. Another suggestion I have is keeping a journal. Use it to explore your thoughts, feelings and emotions. It can be quite helpful sometimes in a lot of ways - getting messy disorganised thoughts out of your head instead of having them do laps in there, and having it all on paper in front of you for you to read back over can help you see things from another perspective almost from a neutral party's point of view. Keeping a journal can also help you identify patterns and tendencies, and ultimately will help you be more of an observer to your unpleasant thoughts and feelings rather than a victim of them.

I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.

 

[Lcarrol98]

The number one rule before going into any trip is to prepare beforehand and be completely willing to let go. It sounds like the anxiety you had before the trip started was still somewhere in your subconscious which dissappeared when you peaked and returned when you were coming down.
It sounds like you were abit worried about side effects before you took anything and that is carried over from the experience. I have experienced something similar. Your minds stuck in abit of a negative thought loop and can be hard to identify and understand. If someone had a broken leg you wouldn't tell them to walk it off so the mind works exactly the same. Stay off all drugs and alcohol if you can and do the usual stuff excercising, good diet, meditation and read up on mindfulness. The shit thing about drugs especially psychedelics is they have a way of finding your deepest darkest fears and projecting them into reality even though there not true. You will recover 100% I'd say in a month or two you'll be back to normal but if not I would recommend going to your doctor. Doesn't mean there's anything serious wrong with you but you'll get a lot of support from them and I would highly recommend asking them about CBT( cognitive behavioural therapy) worked wonders for me.
Good luck and hope you have a speedy recovery!!!!

 

[Crazcass]

Thanks for your replies. I think that I will wait another month or so and see what happens. If it doesn't get better I will talk to a psychologist or a doctor.
I am already practicing meditation on a daily basis, and it defenitly helps, but the emotions are sometimes too strong to kinda keep them under control with mindfulness. I've also read that there are some plant based pills that can be used for lessening anxiety, I think I will try them out as well.