I slept perfectly last night. Asleep before 10:30, awake after 9:00, I was knocked out the whole time. I basically had a smile on my face when my cell phone alarm went off this morning. That may be from my Claire de Lune alarm tone. It really means something special when you can feel genuinely happy while waking up before having to go to work all day.
Why did I sleep so well? That's an easy one. I took 20mg of hydrocodone over the course of 4 hours before bed. I had one beer. And I smoked a bunch of super-good pot (
,
).
Getting ready for today was easy too. It usually takes me a good 20 minutes to get out of bed, get showered, teeth brushed, clothes on. Today, I was ready in under 10 minutes. That's a pretty impressive feat really. I even had time to get breakfast on the way down to work.
I didn't feel great yesterday. I woke up feeling ok but I didn't have to work. So my day was filled up with being very very lazy basically just laying in bed until time for class, which I skipped. Class is so boring and causes me so much stress. No, instead of going to class, I hung out with friends instead.
I got some hydros and some weed and just hung out all night at my boy's house playing Fifa '10. Fun game for sure, but even still I didn't care. I don't really play video games the way other people do. I like to play the game alone, on easier settings until I get better and move up to advanced levels of difficulty. Eventually I like to be able to dominate the computer. So really what I'm saying is that I don't like playing video games with other people. Strange I guess.
Sometimes relapsing makes sense, especially on days like today. That brings me back to one of my favorite quotes from yukio mishima, "anything can become excusable when seen from the standpoint of the result." Using a drug that I'm badly addicted to is OK if I use it with respect and for good. How about that for denial/bargaining?
Why did I sleep so well? That's an easy one. I took 20mg of hydrocodone over the course of 4 hours before bed. I had one beer. And I smoked a bunch of super-good pot (
Getting ready for today was easy too. It usually takes me a good 20 minutes to get out of bed, get showered, teeth brushed, clothes on. Today, I was ready in under 10 minutes. That's a pretty impressive feat really. I even had time to get breakfast on the way down to work.
I didn't feel great yesterday. I woke up feeling ok but I didn't have to work. So my day was filled up with being very very lazy basically just laying in bed until time for class, which I skipped. Class is so boring and causes me so much stress. No, instead of going to class, I hung out with friends instead.
I got some hydros and some weed and just hung out all night at my boy's house playing Fifa '10. Fun game for sure, but even still I didn't care. I don't really play video games the way other people do. I like to play the game alone, on easier settings until I get better and move up to advanced levels of difficulty. Eventually I like to be able to dominate the computer. So really what I'm saying is that I don't like playing video games with other people. Strange I guess.
Sometimes relapsing makes sense, especially on days like today. That brings me back to one of my favorite quotes from yukio mishima, "anything can become excusable when seen from the standpoint of the result." Using a drug that I'm badly addicted to is OK if I use it with respect and for good. How about that for denial/bargaining?
