It's been a while since I have participated much at all with this account for various reasons (mainly lots of life turmoil and an ex who still stalks this account).
However, since I have my blog set to "friends only" viewing, I feel comfortable writing about this here. Since the age of 21, I have been dx'ed at various times of having:
*Seasonal Affective Disorder
*Bipolar Disorder
*ADHD
*Situational depression
*Insomnia
Most of these dx's came from psychiatrists. While I do love my current psychiatrist dearly (he's a really chill dude who tells me he's missed me every time I come in! :D), I'm just going to say it.
PSYCHIATRY IS QUACK MEDICINE.
**If you do have a condition (such as epilepsy or narcolepsy) which can be scientifically determined via a neurologist, disregard what I am about to say.
ANYONE can read the DSM IV (the gold standard current diagnosis manual of psychiatry), and read through a list of common symptoms for recognized conditions, and basically diagnose themself. I am not saying psychiatry is invalid, nor am I saying psychiatrists are quacks. What I am saying is psychiatry is basically educated guesswork, and all the labels listed above may or may not "define" me at any given time.
Recently, I've started to believe that I DO NOT have (anything but a mild form of) ADHD; rather I personally believe I have the mildest of Asperger's. Aspergers = the highest functioning (most "normal") form of autism, and can easily be hidden or overcome. I grew up in a household with four other children, so I learned to deal with my natural "oddballness" by being funny. Thus, while I am a natural shy introvert, I generally have the reputation of being odd, but funny and smart.
(Like most other shy introverts, sometimes my knack for "observing more than speaking" has garnished me a reputation of being either dumb or snobby. I'm fine with that. People are people. We all make snap judgements, whether we like to admit it or not, and true humanity= feeling empathy for those who lack empathy for us back.)
Anyway, I don't carry around ANY of the dx's which I listed above with either pride OR shame, because they are meaningless to me. I AM ME. I am a bit weird, and I have problems, but I also have many good qualities.
For years, I shamefully carried the "mental illness" weight on my shoulders while actively living in denial. Denial breeds insecurity. Please, for all that is good in the world, DO see a doctor, if you feel there is something wrong. DO NOT, however, believe my parents' generation's belief that doctors are gods.
Ironically, recenly I found out that I have a PHYSICAL condition, albeit minor, which treating has done WONDERS for the mental, emotional, spiritual, AND physical Jenah! I am hypogycemic. In layman's terms, it is the opposite of diabetes. I MUST eat or drink something every couple of hours or I will become faint, grouchy, and, yes, mood-swingy. I DO tell employers and coworkers about this condition, because it is essential for me to be able to bring a smoothie or two into work (SO MANY THINGS can go into smoothies, and they are not messy!).
Anyway, now that I no longer live in fear of my "labels," I've truly been able to live my life to the fullest. I truly enjoy most aspects of my life and don't waste time feeling sorry for myself. While I DO have a lot going on, I always believe Gxd wouldn't have given me this life if I couldn't handle it. (Yes, that's digging into religious territory, but you could replace the word Gxd with Fate, Mother Earth, karma, etc, and the meaning remains unchanged.)
In the words of Drake,
I've "started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequences."
However, since I have my blog set to "friends only" viewing, I feel comfortable writing about this here. Since the age of 21, I have been dx'ed at various times of having:
*Seasonal Affective Disorder
*Bipolar Disorder
*ADHD
*Situational depression
*Insomnia
Most of these dx's came from psychiatrists. While I do love my current psychiatrist dearly (he's a really chill dude who tells me he's missed me every time I come in! :D), I'm just going to say it.
PSYCHIATRY IS QUACK MEDICINE.
**If you do have a condition (such as epilepsy or narcolepsy) which can be scientifically determined via a neurologist, disregard what I am about to say.
ANYONE can read the DSM IV (the gold standard current diagnosis manual of psychiatry), and read through a list of common symptoms for recognized conditions, and basically diagnose themself. I am not saying psychiatry is invalid, nor am I saying psychiatrists are quacks. What I am saying is psychiatry is basically educated guesswork, and all the labels listed above may or may not "define" me at any given time.
Recently, I've started to believe that I DO NOT have (anything but a mild form of) ADHD; rather I personally believe I have the mildest of Asperger's. Aspergers = the highest functioning (most "normal") form of autism, and can easily be hidden or overcome. I grew up in a household with four other children, so I learned to deal with my natural "oddballness" by being funny. Thus, while I am a natural shy introvert, I generally have the reputation of being odd, but funny and smart.
(Like most other shy introverts, sometimes my knack for "observing more than speaking" has garnished me a reputation of being either dumb or snobby. I'm fine with that. People are people. We all make snap judgements, whether we like to admit it or not, and true humanity= feeling empathy for those who lack empathy for us back.)
Anyway, I don't carry around ANY of the dx's which I listed above with either pride OR shame, because they are meaningless to me. I AM ME. I am a bit weird, and I have problems, but I also have many good qualities.
For years, I shamefully carried the "mental illness" weight on my shoulders while actively living in denial. Denial breeds insecurity. Please, for all that is good in the world, DO see a doctor, if you feel there is something wrong. DO NOT, however, believe my parents' generation's belief that doctors are gods.
Ironically, recenly I found out that I have a PHYSICAL condition, albeit minor, which treating has done WONDERS for the mental, emotional, spiritual, AND physical Jenah! I am hypogycemic. In layman's terms, it is the opposite of diabetes. I MUST eat or drink something every couple of hours or I will become faint, grouchy, and, yes, mood-swingy. I DO tell employers and coworkers about this condition, because it is essential for me to be able to bring a smoothie or two into work (SO MANY THINGS can go into smoothies, and they are not messy!).
Anyway, now that I no longer live in fear of my "labels," I've truly been able to live my life to the fullest. I truly enjoy most aspects of my life and don't waste time feeling sorry for myself. While I DO have a lot going on, I always believe Gxd wouldn't have given me this life if I couldn't handle it. (Yes, that's digging into religious territory, but you could replace the word Gxd with Fate, Mother Earth, karma, etc, and the meaning remains unchanged.)
In the words of Drake,
I've "started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequences."
