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Labels for sexual orientation oversimplify everyone's taste

while on the one-hand i get that labels tend to define more concrete boundaries than actually exist, i also feel like most socially-progressive/open-minded people understand that there are blurred lines and lots of overlap.

^ This is a very good point, and I agree.

Labels can be too simplistic in some cases, but it's also a lot easier to use a one-word label when making a quick explanation than to delve into details.

"I am bisexual" is a lot quicker to say than, "I am attracted to both sexes, but I can only make emotional connections with men, and I only perform x, y, and z sexual acts on women, and I am more physically attracted to women than men, etc." There are a lot of different facets of one's sexuality, but there cannot be a label for every little thing. So we use terms like "heterosexual", "homosexual", "bisexual", "pansexual", "asexual", etc.
 
while on the one-hand i get that labels tend to define more concrete boundaries than actually exist, i also feel like most socially-progressive/open-minded people understand that there are blurred lines and lots of overlap.

I feel like the OP has been inside my head for the past year or so and put it all into a post. I've been trying to figure this all out for myself and feel that people are people and as such we are attracted to people. Not simply men and not simply women. As some prefer brunettes or blue eyes some are drawn to personalities that are found in males (or females).

This idea is still in the development stage for me but I agree with the quoted text, there is overlap. A great deal of overlap.
 
My theory is that most people APPEAR 100% straight or gay due to societal expectations, but could actually be susceptible to experimentation if the "right" person came along. Then there are people like double ewe who are truly set in one end of the spectrum with no chance of ever turning, which is equally important to note. The idea that "everyone's bisexual" can be offensive to those of us who aren't. (I like girls exclusively, btw:)
 
I'm gay, I only like men. Women do not get me aroused AT ALL.

I'm the same way.

I don't know of any gay man who actually does get turned on by women at all.

I know bisexual men who came out as being gay men first before they discovered that they're bisexual and not gay like us.
 
I did not say that nobody is completely straight or gay. Claiming that there is no such individual with any given quality would be too presumptuous, since variance in biology makes just about anything possible. I simply said that a significant portion of the population have unequal feelings for each sex, and that they are underrepresented because they are different from pure bisexuals, and instead repress their feelings for the sex they are less comfortable with.

to OP:

this is what making a smart-alecky kind of post gets you: a bunch of people doing the same.

i would like to discuss this with you, really, i would, but what are you trying to get from this thread? so far i can say this: i agree.

what now?

I started the thread with hopes to help along thought in individuals who are on the edge of bisexuality like myself, and to educate those who are not bisexual on the great variance in human sexuality. The end result is less prejudice and more honesty.

amanda_eats_pandas said:
I feel like the OP has been inside my head for the past year or so and put it all into a post. I've been trying to figure this all out for myself and feel that people are people and as such we are attracted to people. Not simply men and not simply women. As some prefer brunettes or blue eyes some are drawn to personalities that are found in males (or females).

This is a valid and interesting expansion of my thought. Personally, I seek the same feminine physical traits in both genders, and am not attracted to guys with muscles or facial hair. I'm attracted to lean bodies and cute faces regardless of whether they're a man's or woman's.

In America the male's sexual preference is for orange bimbos. Snookie would be seen as disgusting as she is in cultures that are not sexually conditioned to be American.

Imagine a world where everyone is a different shade of gray rather than black or white. Sure, some people would still be grayer than others, but overall prejudice would not be so prevalent since everyone is gray to some degree.
 
I've always found this to be a problem. I'm "bi" if I have to pick a word, but it really is horribly inadequate. I don't date women, but I like having sex with them. I find women more attractive than men and if it's just down to looks, women do more for me, but men get me outright hornier when it comes to physical interaction - even the best strap-on in the world isn't the same as a cock attached to a biologically male person. As I bet you could guess, fucking an outwardly hyper-female pre-op ftm (in the parlance, "chick with a dick") would be just about the ultimate turn on for me. But I'm probably going to settle down with a hetero bio-male and have 2.5 kids and all that. :)

This is definitely a big part of the problem with the resentment towards bisexual people. People think it's a "fake" orientation, because, yeah, sure, incredibly few people are actually 50/50 in all social, sexual, and emotional aspects. But that's like saying someone who's half black and half white is a "fake" race because they're not exactly 50% of each of their parents' colors! When you put it that way, you can see how stupid it is. :)
 
I'm straight. I could never imagine having a relationship with a man, or falling in love with a man, and I love vaginas.

That being said, I find sexual experiences with males to be erotic. I haven't done many; and I have no interest in anal, but I have done other things with a [very] few other guys a couple of nights in my life.

I would never tell any girlfriends or male friends about this. I don't think they'd understand and I have no desire to go through the big hassle of trying to explain or justify things.

I think I would get along really well in the days of ancient Greece where it seems like it was pretty common just to have a big orgies all the time and not really get hung up on these labels and boxes the supposedly identify people. Labels are definitely convenient but the real situation is more complex than that .
 
I did not say that nobody is completely straight or gay. Claiming that there is no such individual with any given quality would be too presumptuous, since variance in biology makes just about anything possible. I simply said that a significant portion of the population have unequal feelings for each sex, and that they are underrepresented because they are different from pure bisexuals, and instead repress their feelings for the sex they are less comfortable with.

I'm not sure what you mean by "pure bisexual" or "on the edge of bisexuality"? Everyone that's bisexual even if they're more into one gender/sex for both sexual attraction and romance is completely bisexual. You're either bisexual, or you're not and you are monosexual.

Bisexuality isn't about being attracted to most people of both genders that you see or encounter since everyone has their own preferences.

People who are bisexual but prefer one sex/gender over the other one are not ignored or unknown since they're bisexual, and these people do not necessarily repress their bisexuality.

There are lots of ways to be bisexual and just because someone is bisexual it doesn't mean that they're always or by default equally attracted to both sexes/genders.
 
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the fact that you're trying to put such a fine point on such an open-ended subject matter kind of defeats the purpose of your thread, doesnt it?? :?
 
To give another perspective on what Priest is talking about:

The assumption that it is unproblematic to speak of either tolerance or intolerance
of homosexuality in the premodern Middle East would seem to derive
from the assumption that homosexuality is a self-evident fact about the human
world to which a particular culture reacts with a certain degree of tolerance
or repression. From this perspective, writing the history of homosexuality
is seen as analogous to writing, say, the history of women. One assumes
that the concept “homosexual,” like the concept “woman,” is shared across
historical periods, and that what varies and may be investigated historically is
merely the changing cultural (popular, scientific, legal, etc.) attitude toward
such people. In contrast to this “essentialist” view, a number of anthropologists,
sociologists, and historians, inspired in the main by the late French philosopher
Michel Foucault, have recently emphasized the “constructed,” or
historically conditioned, nature of our modern sexual categories. They claim
that the concept of homosexuality (and heterosexuality) was developed in
Europe in the late nineteenth century, and that though its meaning may
overlap with earlier concepts such as “sodomite” or “invert,” it is not, strictly
speaking, synonymous with these. For example, Foucault stressed that the
term “sodomite” applied to the perpetrator of an act; someone who was
tempted to commit sodomy but refrained out of moral or religious considerations
was thus not a sodomite. By contrast, the category “homosexual”
would include someone who has the inclination, even if it is not translated
into action.16 On this account, homosexuality is no more a synonym for
sodomy than heterosexuality is equivalent to fornication.
Foucault’s “constructionist” claim has inspired much recent work in the
history of homosexuality, but it has also provoked sometimes heated “essentialist”
rejoinders. It is generally acknowledged that the term “homosexualität”
was coined in the late 1860s by the Austro-Hungarian writer Karl
Maria Kertbeny, and that the first English equivalent first appeared in print
some twenty years later. “Essentialists” insist that though the term “homosexuality”
was new, the concept was not. Rejecting Foucault’s claim of
conceptual discontinuity, they believe that the new termcorresponds in meaning
to earlier terms such as the medieval Latin sodomia or the classical Arabic
liwa¯t.
The adjudication of the dispute between constructionists and essentialists
should of course be based on a careful investigation of the historical evidence.
To avoid prejudging the issue, close attention will have to be paid to the premodern—
in this case Arabic—terms and phrases used in various contexts to
designate acts and actors that we would be inclined to call “homosexual.”
Only then will it be possible to determine whether such terms and phrases are
equivalent in meaning to the English term “homosexual.” Unfortunately,
modern scholars are often not so careful. For instance, one recent author
translates the Arabic medical term ubnah as “homosexuality,” even though he
himself acknowledges that the term only applied to the male who desired to
be anally penetrated.18 A man who regularly anally penetrated other men was
not thought to have ubnah but would presumably be deemed a “homosexual”
today. The two terms are simply not synonymous. Recent general histories
of homosexuality find a “disparity” between the proclaimed ideals and
actual behavior of some Islamic scholars who, on the one hand, condemned
“homosexuality” but, on the other, wrote “strongly homoerotic poetry.”19
What Islamic scholars condemned was not “homosexuality” but liwa¯t., that is,
anal intercourse between men. Writing a love poem of a male youth would
simply not fall under the juridical concept of liwa¯t..
What such examples show is that care should be taken before translating
as “homosexual” any Arabic term attested in the texts. The possibility at issue
is precisely whether pre-nineteenth-century Arab-Islamic culture lacked the
concept of homosexuality altogether, and operated instead with a set of concepts
(like ubnah or liwa¯t.) each of which pick out some of the acts and actors
we might call “homosexual” but which were simply not seen as instances of
one overarching phenomenon. In the course of this study I hope to show that
this was indeed the case. I argue that distinctions not captured by the concept
of “homosexuality” were all-important from the perspective of the culture of
the period. One such distinction is that between the “active” and the “passive”
partner in a homosexual encounter—these were typically not conceptualized
or evaluated in the same way. Another distinction is that between passionate
infatuation (ishq) and sexual lust—emphasizing this distinction was
important for those who would argue for the religious permissibility of the
passionate love of boys. A third distinction centers on exactly what sexual acts
were involved—Islamic law prescribed severe corporal or capital punishment
for anal intercourse between men, but regarded, say, kissing, fondling, or
non-anal intercourse as less serious transgressions.

El-Rouayheb, Khaled. Before homosexuality in the Arab-Islamic world, 1500-1800: Khaled El-Rouayheb. University Of Chicago Press, 2005
 
Rolodex propaganda said:
Although almost nobody is 100% straight or gay, or perfectly inbetween,
Not true. I'm gay and like other gay men who have posted on this thread we're not sexually attracted or aroused by women at all. Also I know some gay men who have had sex with women when they were younger and closeted but they've never had sexual attraction to a woman so they are gay, and not bisexual. If someone's not gay or hetero then they are bisexual. Likewise if someone's heterosexual they're not going to have sex or hook up with someone of the same gender or have sexual attraction to them. You don't have to fall in love with both genders in order to be bisexual I know bisexual people who fall in love with only the same gender but they're sexually attracted to both, and a lot of bisexuals fall in love with both genders.
 
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