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La Mer [her kiss tastes of salt and regret]

Raz

Raz

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
7,329
Location
In an igloo made of asbestos and chicken-wire.
standing on the bridge's edge
nostrils filled with the scent of rust and shit and failed dreams
one train of thought runs beneath all others;

i will plunge deeper than the water's surface
deeper than the air
deeper than my human heart
my lungs will fill with ice
and my tears anonymous drops
will add to her sorrow
and for me there will be
no tomorrow
the world will wake without me
the sun will still shine
the moon still rise
and fall

but while you greet your days
i will be with her
i will be with la mer
and it will all make sense
in a way that nothing does now
and you remember reading
that people who attempt suicide and fail
always say they changed their mind
as they fell towards her embrace;
her knowledge too much
and too sad
to hold;

...

and the wind cries for what his sister is about to receive.
 
I love the last two stanzas:

and you remember reading
that people who attempt suicide and fail
always say they changed their mind
as they fell towards her embrace;
her knowledge too much
and too sad
to hold;

...

and the wind cries for what his sister is about to receive.
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Quality!

I was imagining you reading it at a spoken word gig. And it was working... the crowd loved it! :D
 
I really enjoyed reading this
it evoked a clear image in my imagination.
Well done raz
 
It made me feel like I was taking the plunge myself...something I've fancied recently...
 
Well don't. Take the plunge I mean. I have been there, and am much happier than I ever thought I would be before I decided against taking that plunge....

I read this piece tonight and it was well received....it got me through to the next round of the poetry slam; I didn't get any further than that, but it's still a pretty awesome feeling to have strangers come up and tell me that what I said meant something to them. :)
 
Raz, it is a gifted writer who can take a sensitive subject and present it in such a beautiful way that it spawns understanding & compassion. I have flirted with the plunge myself many times before & hid it like a dirty secret. Thank you for shining the light. Masterfully done.
 
Raz said:
Well don't. Take the plunge I mean. I have been there, and am much happier than I ever thought I would be before I decided against taking that plunge....

I read this piece tonight and it was well received....it got me through to the next round of the poetry slam; I didn't get any further than that, but it's still a pretty awesome feeling to have strangers come up and tell me that what I said meant something to them. :)
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Well, I'm in a better place then I was when I posted that, so thank you for your advice, and I'm glad it was well received.:)
 
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