Thanks so much for the support, Mel. I am indeed still reading, as this is the only place I am telling the whole truth.
Update: So on the drive home from work last night, I started to feel like shit. Felt nausea, run down, very achy, headache -- just crappy. I was coming up on 22 hours since last oxy pill. So, of course, I thought of the half a blue I'd found and left behind at home. I called my wife, who was working from home, told her I wasn't feeling well and asked her to pick up the kids from daycare. I got home, popped the 15 mg of oxy along with a 5 mg hydro I had left, my last of any real opiate stash aside from some tylenol w/ codeine pills I have (no interest in those).
What I took must have taken the edge off, cause I felt a little better achiness wise. I was still out of it. Not myself. Quiet, lethargic and withdrawn when the wife and kids came home, just paying attention to my physical state. I was cold too.
Played some video games with my son, we had some dinner, TV, and I just endured the discomfort, counting hours and minutes until bedtime.
Here's a sad little anecdote. My naive wife says, "I feel like you get sick, like every month." ::::sigh::::
I rode out the night, quietly, and took two 400 mg gabapentins and a 10 mg ambien. And I probably slept from 11 pm to 7 am, which is really good for me.
I woke up, with my son next to me, in withdrawal. RLS, watery eyes, achy joints. Got ready for work. Dismissing the small amount of oxy I took last night as not being problematic, I finally caved and took 2 mg of the sub strip. With sub strips, I'm always paranoid that "I'm not doing it right." Like I screwed up ingesting it. With no relief felt, (of course I hardly waited), 20 minutes later in the car on the way to the office I took another 2 mg.
And now I feel normal, even a little buzzy. I have dull headache. I guess suboxone is no joke. I definitely feel medicated. Maybe ever-so-slightly high.
And that's where I'm at. Luckily, I have an office where I can even close my door and be alone. I have a lot of work to do, but I can work at my own pace, hence taking the time to write this lengthy post. With the sub in me and working, I am actually being more productive than I've been in awhile.