Okay, here's the situation (my parents went away on a week's vacation...)
In all seriousness, I could use any and all advice and encouragement. During my five years of serious opiate/opiod addiction, what I have to do has never been more clear. I think deep down, I knew those previous attempts were temporary or just to appease others. I truly did not want to quit. Now I do; I'm even excited about it.
If only it was so easy. The caveat is, in order to maintain my job, marriage and home life (two kids, 5 and 3), I am going to do this ? detox and heal ? unbeknownst to my wife. She's known about two other "quits" and subsequent relapses, and well, a third confession will end things I am afraid. She knows about the kratom and thinks that's all I am doing. So, my plan is to tell her my daily kratom habit has gotten out of hand, is more serious and worse than ever, and I am quitting/detoxing from kratom. That's my story, for her. For BL, however, it's this:
The real story is, for the last few months I've been hooked back on 30 mg roxies, eating up to 7-8 of them daily. I am in the worst funk and fog of my life. I feel like they are not even doing anything for me anymore but keeping me out of WD. I am disgusted with myself. I am ready.
It all started around 5 years ago. Perc 5's turned into 30 mg roxies that I would cut into quarters. It went from 15 mg a day to 30 and so on... In between, or when I'd run dry, I'd suffer and use kratom, sometimes subs, but always went back to my DOC. I would also drink like a crazy on the days between, which I've learned is a horrible thing to do as well.
I have enough blues to last me for the next two days, I may try and taper somewhat and stretch it to 3, ideally, as it would be nice to start my "quit" after the weekend so all seems "normal" over the weekend. Then, I'll go into my toolkit, which I am in the process of amassing.
I have or will have:
6 Sub strips
A fair amount of Alprozolam aka Xanax (don't know exactly, but "enough" I think)
A small amount of gabapentin (still waiting on those) -- trading last few blues for them cause I think they'll be crucial, from what I have read. Have no exp with gabapentin
8 30 mg adderall
Lots of MJ -- high CBD content vape, flower, and 5 gummies each of 10 mg sativa and indica, as well as 1 to 1 THC/CBD tincture.
2 kilos of kratom: yellow, green, red, and white strains.
Lots of lope and tagamet, as well as white grapefruit juice
And, leftover from previous attempts, just about every vitamin, amino acid
In all seriousness, I could use any and all advice and encouragement. During my five years of serious opiate/opiod addiction, what I have to do has never been more clear. I think deep down, I knew those previous attempts were temporary or just to appease others. I truly did not want to quit. Now I do; I'm even excited about it.
If only it was so easy. The caveat is, in order to maintain my job, marriage and home life (two kids, 5 and 3), I am going to do this ? detox and heal ? unbeknownst to my wife. She's known about two other "quits" and subsequent relapses, and well, a third confession will end things I am afraid. She knows about the kratom and thinks that's all I am doing. So, my plan is to tell her my daily kratom habit has gotten out of hand, is more serious and worse than ever, and I am quitting/detoxing from kratom. That's my story, for her. For BL, however, it's this:
The real story is, for the last few months I've been hooked back on 30 mg roxies, eating up to 7-8 of them daily. I am in the worst funk and fog of my life. I feel like they are not even doing anything for me anymore but keeping me out of WD. I am disgusted with myself. I am ready.
It all started around 5 years ago. Perc 5's turned into 30 mg roxies that I would cut into quarters. It went from 15 mg a day to 30 and so on... In between, or when I'd run dry, I'd suffer and use kratom, sometimes subs, but always went back to my DOC. I would also drink like a crazy on the days between, which I've learned is a horrible thing to do as well.
I have enough blues to last me for the next two days, I may try and taper somewhat and stretch it to 3, ideally, as it would be nice to start my "quit" after the weekend so all seems "normal" over the weekend. Then, I'll go into my toolkit, which I am in the process of amassing.
I have or will have:
6 Sub strips
A fair amount of Alprozolam aka Xanax (don't know exactly, but "enough" I think)
A small amount of gabapentin (still waiting on those) -- trading last few blues for them cause I think they'll be crucial, from what I have read. Have no exp with gabapentin
8 30 mg adderall
Lots of MJ -- high CBD content vape, flower, and 5 gummies each of 10 mg sativa and indica, as well as 1 to 1 THC/CBD tincture.
2 kilos of kratom: yellow, green, red, and white strains.
Lots of lope and tagamet, as well as white grapefruit juice
And, leftover from previous attempts, just about every vitamin, amino acid