Slug_In_Ya_Noggin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2015
- Messages
- 72
I have been taking kratom every day for about 8 months now. I take 15 grams twice a day. It was great in the beginning when i could take that dose and be completly relived of my anxiety, depression, and back pain. I used to iv heroin, kratom completely filled that void for me. So as you can see i love this wonderful plant with all my heart and i planned on taking it everyday for the rest of my life as it has helped me so greatly these past months.
Things are different now, i feel like my whole enitire perception of reality has changed so much. Its so hard to describe the feeling I'm talking about or how it changed. I feel like everything is kind of like a dream and i have this constant feeling of guilt and saddness surrounding everthing and everybody i see or think about im just so sad all the time. I think about my life constantly i go through all the memories i have about my life good and bad, they all have this weird sort of guilt feeling attached to them (even the good ones now) and every time they pass my mind which is alot i get sad and feel guilty i know i shouldnt feel that way because i have nothing to feel guilty about. Im not even totally sure if the feeling im getting is guilt or something else but its pretty damn close to that. I cant stop thinking about these things another example is i was watching a documentary called intervention where someone is addicted to drugs and gets clean and all that. In the show she was prostituting herself to pay for her drug habbit. I could not stop thinking about this. It bothered me so much, ive been around this sorta thing before in real life and its nothing new to me. Why are situations like this that i have no control over make me feel so guilty? All i can think about all the time is like how stupid and pointless everthing in life is. If kratom is causing this i want to stop it by tapering. Its just so hard latley ive been trying to take only 7 grams twice a day and i find myself making excuses to take more and get a buzz its so hard for me because of my addictive personality and because i dont know for a FACT that the kratom is causing this. If it was killing me or giving me stomach ulcers i would have some motivation to quit but for right now i dont know for sure if kratom is causing this thats why im turning to you guys for help if its not causing it i want to find out what is and try to fix it.
Everyday ending my life sounds like a better and better idea. This scares me.... Please give me some advise from your own life if youve felt like this before or if you think it could be caused by something else.
I forgot to mention i dont use any other drugs besides THC in the form of wax, dabs, whatever. I dont buy weed and havent for a long time but i really dont think its the wax. Thank you for reading all advise is appreciated.
Things are different now, i feel like my whole enitire perception of reality has changed so much. Its so hard to describe the feeling I'm talking about or how it changed. I feel like everything is kind of like a dream and i have this constant feeling of guilt and saddness surrounding everthing and everybody i see or think about im just so sad all the time. I think about my life constantly i go through all the memories i have about my life good and bad, they all have this weird sort of guilt feeling attached to them (even the good ones now) and every time they pass my mind which is alot i get sad and feel guilty i know i shouldnt feel that way because i have nothing to feel guilty about. Im not even totally sure if the feeling im getting is guilt or something else but its pretty damn close to that. I cant stop thinking about these things another example is i was watching a documentary called intervention where someone is addicted to drugs and gets clean and all that. In the show she was prostituting herself to pay for her drug habbit. I could not stop thinking about this. It bothered me so much, ive been around this sorta thing before in real life and its nothing new to me. Why are situations like this that i have no control over make me feel so guilty? All i can think about all the time is like how stupid and pointless everthing in life is. If kratom is causing this i want to stop it by tapering. Its just so hard latley ive been trying to take only 7 grams twice a day and i find myself making excuses to take more and get a buzz its so hard for me because of my addictive personality and because i dont know for a FACT that the kratom is causing this. If it was killing me or giving me stomach ulcers i would have some motivation to quit but for right now i dont know for sure if kratom is causing this thats why im turning to you guys for help if its not causing it i want to find out what is and try to fix it.
Everyday ending my life sounds like a better and better idea. This scares me.... Please give me some advise from your own life if youve felt like this before or if you think it could be caused by something else.
I forgot to mention i dont use any other drugs besides THC in the form of wax, dabs, whatever. I dont buy weed and havent for a long time but i really dont think its the wax. Thank you for reading all advise is appreciated.
