sadmachine
Bluelighter
Despite not being truly active in the drug scene in 12ish years, I was luckily enough to stumble upon some golden gooses in my older age. Now every last one of them unreachable for me forever, at my request and their kindness.
All the drugs I couldn't get in my teens and early 20's finally showed up in my 30's when I moved to a City. What a privilege. Legit pharma at last. But by then I didn't even have any weed smoking pals anymore, and after 5 years of sneaking around getting mediocre highs behind my partners back, The sun has finally set on these strange days and sobriety is waiting for me with open arms.
I won't like, it stings. Almost like grief to let go of opportunities so rare that I know I could never get them back. My very few contacts were all happy to disappear from me for good when asked and having always had a very respectable relationship them, it was nice to say goodbye and get closure before my access to them vanished.
Nothing has felt as liberating. I've known who I've wanted to be and I've known this day has been coming for a while now. Benzos never once hurt me, a valiant tool even! But alas, no room for you in my house or my phone.
I've already begun attending online recovery meetings and it won't be long before these days are just a memories. I hope this era one day blurs into forgotten obscurity and the rest of my 30's and 40's overpower the memories into dust.
Oxycodone you took 6 figures from me for a mediocre high at best and an anxiety fuelled spiral at worst. You hurt me and if I wasn't 1/3 lucky, 1/3 informed and 1/3 well supported you might've just destroyed me.
But I don't hate you. You were just another experience. Farewell.
Kiss and put on the ground, the stone which you can no longer carry, my friends.
All the drugs I couldn't get in my teens and early 20's finally showed up in my 30's when I moved to a City. What a privilege. Legit pharma at last. But by then I didn't even have any weed smoking pals anymore, and after 5 years of sneaking around getting mediocre highs behind my partners back, The sun has finally set on these strange days and sobriety is waiting for me with open arms.
I won't like, it stings. Almost like grief to let go of opportunities so rare that I know I could never get them back. My very few contacts were all happy to disappear from me for good when asked and having always had a very respectable relationship them, it was nice to say goodbye and get closure before my access to them vanished.
Nothing has felt as liberating. I've known who I've wanted to be and I've known this day has been coming for a while now. Benzos never once hurt me, a valiant tool even! But alas, no room for you in my house or my phone.
I've already begun attending online recovery meetings and it won't be long before these days are just a memories. I hope this era one day blurs into forgotten obscurity and the rest of my 30's and 40's overpower the memories into dust.
Oxycodone you took 6 figures from me for a mediocre high at best and an anxiety fuelled spiral at worst. You hurt me and if I wasn't 1/3 lucky, 1/3 informed and 1/3 well supported you might've just destroyed me.
But I don't hate you. You were just another experience. Farewell.
Kiss and put on the ground, the stone which you can no longer carry, my friends.
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