Kinda think I ducked up tonight

[CasualExtremist]

I've been mostly sober since 2012. Although I had a relapse in 2018 for 9 months. That was a crazy rollercoaster going from feeling fine and in few weeks almost forgotten how it was to feel balanced.

I managed to get sober again in 2019 and it was more difficult than my previous sobriety.

Well fast forward to tonight. Out of the blue while driving home from a friend I decided I wanted to shoot some coke. I didn't even try to make sense of this thought. I scored some coke and drove to the parking lot at a emergency hospital. I know my self well enough that plenty is never enough for me. So better be near medical professionals.

But heres the thing. The coke was crap! And now im not sure if im more disappointed for relapsing or the fact I did it for lousy coke.

Well on the other hand I just wanted to introduce myself. I've been a long time lurker.

 

[bingey]

Hi dude sucks to hear about your relapse, however if it's just a one off thing then there should be no major consequences am I right. Probably good the coke was crap.

 

[CasualExtremist]

Yeh that's a good point. The better the coke the more it messes you up.

Yeh I hope I'll be able to come back from this

 

[bingey]

I was into mainlining coke too about 10 years ago, now i have moved on.

Still wish i could be completely sober but glad to have IV, opiates and coke more or less behind me.

Welcome btw

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Welcome! I've only been here for 2 months and feel right at home already. You're gonna like this place.

 

[PtahTek]

But heres the thing. The coke was crap! And now im not sure if im more disappointed for relapsing or the fact I did it for lousy coke.

Use this as a positive. Reinforce the need to just drop the shit.
Welcome to BL and will be looking to see what else ya got goin on.
Any "pets"?
J

 

[CasualExtremist]

I was into mainlining coke too about 10 years ago, now i have moved on.

Still wish i could be completely sober but glad to have IV, opiates and coke more or less behind me.

Welcome btw

Yeh beeing sober is nice.

Use this as a positive. Reinforce the need to just drop the shit.
Welcome to BL and will be looking to see what else ya got goin on.
Any "pets"?
J

Yeh. It was pretty sad. I was alone driving around the city trying to find discreet location to do my business.

The positive thing about this incident is that its the first rime I slip and feel an urge to stop again right away. In other cases in the past I have always let every thing spin out of control.

Thank everybody for making me feel welcome!

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I've only been here for 2 months

.. I've actually been here nearly 3 months, I just noticed. That's how good a time I'm having xd