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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

killing yourself vs hard drug addiction

hard core drug addiction...imo. which will probably kill you anyway, but at least you stand a chance.
 
Im going thru the same thing, I NEED to get off H, besides the horrible w/ds, I think the absolute worst part of it will probably be trying to live sober and try to enjoy a normal life again...dont know about anyone else, but personally I tend to think once a person uses dope for a long enough time and then stops, its almost impossible to try and forget the feeling it gives, this would make it extremely hard to STAY sober, plus, knowing each day will be a boring stretch of time, and you will never get to enjoy that opiate high again,that doesnt sound like a good life to me.

On the other hand, Im a bit scared to end my life,mainly because no one knows what happens after death, Im not religious at all, but really that doesnt matter, whatever truly happens and wherever we go when we die, it will happen to everyone, no matter what they believe or not... for all we know, it could be MUCH worse than going thru horrible w/ds! and its huge fucking risk, once you do the deed, no going back
 
I'm not religious either, in fact I identify as an atheist. I don't believe in an afterlife or a soul so I'm pretty certain once we are dead that's it, like before you were born. I would like to think I can live a normal life with normal relationships but drugs seem to be the only real relationship I've ever had. I have no idea how to communicate to the outside world without them, even with them I struggle.
 
falsifiedhypothesi said:
which is the best option?
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I'm assuming this is related to you and not a hypothetical?
It's too creepy for me to answer as a random hypothetical.

If it's about you, you have to consider whatever is the best option for you.

It could be suicide. It could be dealing with your addiction.

Remember that when you are in the throes of hardcore addiction, your brain will think differently. You will not be rational even though it seems rational.

I recommend trying what I did = Go through the horrible week of misery that is severe heroin(or whatever drug(s) u r kicking) withdrawals, and then decide when you can think more rationally.

Ideally you would choose 'neither'. But I'm not going to type a fake answer that pretends that 'neither' works for everyone, you may need to choose one.
Good luck, I hope u can choose 'neither'.
 
so you are warning me that drug addiction won't kill me? there's a bit of irony in that considering the government has tried to convince people of the opposite for many years, but I know what you mean.
 
Capt H has given you another option to consider which I have tried (having already tried the other choices you mentioned) It has helped me remain here and I am fighting without causing my loved ones further unnecessary pain. It's one of the few things I ever did that I am proud of. I hope you make the choice thats right for you. Just think of the impact it will have on others too. Ok trying to not sound like someones mother. Will shut up now. Take care x
 
I'm not going to humiliate myself by being an inpatient. Maybe it is the scare stories of mental hospitals but the way I see it giving up my personal freedom is not helpful.
 
I did not feel humiliated at any time because I was given very good care. I found it more humiliating doing what I was doing and having people judge me and the horrible pain I caused others. It wasn't an overnight solution either. I was in hospital two years ago for three weeks and I still see a psychotherapist every week. I have shared everything with him and sometimes been a real bitch to him swearing at him calling him all the cunts under the sun and walking out of sessions. I am very lucky as without him I would not be here. I had the same fear as you. I even had the advantage of having worked in a mental health unit and was still scared. Nobody can promise it will be a good experience and not humiliating. Some people like group therapy and it works for them. It was not right for me but others obviously benefit from it. I don't have the answer I am sorry.
 
<BEEP!> neither. FINAL ANSWER!

I'm sorry, this is asking to choose between eating a shit sandwich because...... just for shits and giggles
or
giving up on myself and on life in general?

Does that sum it up? If you're contemplating this as if those are your only options: getting sober may be called for at this point. The WDS actually isn't that bad, or at least the life afterwards. I was a chronic pill-popper, so I know that's different but...... 20 months I've been able to logically and within reason say "I love my life! I love my life! I love my life!"

You can do this. Give it a shot, at least? The depression/anxiety problem I read in the OP just means that the recognition is there that this is not manageable. Okay, so step one accomplished? It's not everything, but it's a start. YOU CAN DO IT! Bite down AND GIVE IT HELL, MAN! :D
 
Squashymossy said:
Capt H has given you another option to consider which I have tried (having already tried the other choices you mentioned) It has helped me remain here and I am fighting without causing my loved ones further unnecessary pain. It's one of the few things I ever did that I am proud of. I hope you make the choice thats right for you. Just think of the impact it will have on others too. Ok trying to not sound like someones mother. Will shut up now. Take care x
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Yes like Engineer said. Give it hell man! Grab life by the balls and take no prisoners.....Just realised I said I would try not to sound like someones mother. My mother used to call me a bitch and a cunt when I was a little girl so I don't have problems with using bad language sadly. Now I definitely will shut up unless invited to reply by anyone else. Sorry.
 
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Furthermore: I get the atheist thing. It's an ideology that used to hold high importance to me as well. You know, detox may reveal a thing or two for you? ;)

I'm not saying it'll change your belief, but if you give it a shot..... Shit is probably gonna get sort of "spiritual" at some point, I never lie to people = sugarcoat.

I'm not even trying to act narcissistic or "better" in any way, but if it's opiates that you're dealing with.... That was one of the easier ones I had to pass through. The worst was the anxiety med problem. I was caring for my grandmother with alz dementia and a terminal brain tumor while performing a rapid benzodiazepene detox protocol (self researched and initiated, but only because that one could possibly kill me) and having to carry her around everywhere she needed to go in my arms while experiencing those infamous "drop seizes" (five so far, only one real minor since October '12) (until we got her in the wheelchair, anyway). <-- I mean this to inspire, not an attempt to appear superior or as if I'm better or towering over you. People all had to go through some REAL SHIT to get to the "sober" side of life, it was worth it, man. Every time those WDS symptoms pop up, I say to myself "I guess I must still be alive" and I call them "glass shards and lightning bolts."
 
Think about family and friends, they may give up on you because what you've done but that doesn't mean they don't love or care for you, they just don't know how to handle the situation. I have been in that situation and I know I can't do something like that knowing how much worse it would be vs what I had already done.
 
Atheism isn't an ideology and I'm not emotionally attached to it, I have rational reasons for being an atheist that I won't get into now.

My OP was not about me being addicted, I am only mildly addicted to kratom. it was meant to be an ultimatum between using drugs to cope or living in misery. I have no intention of stopping or slowing down my use because it's all I have to cope.
 
falsifiedhypothesi said:
Atheism isn't an ideology and I'm not emotionally attached to it, I have rational reasons for being an atheist that I won't get into now.

My OP was not about me being addicted, I am only mildly addicted to kratom. it was meant to be an ultimatum between using drugs to cope or living in misery. I have no intention of stopping or slowing down my use because it's all I have to cope.
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Mildly addicted doesn't exist, we've all been in your shoes, I thought I was good for years because I always had a means to support my habit, well my life went to shit once those means disappeared. I used with no care because I could to cope with what had happened in my life. It slowly takes more and more to "cope" and eventually you do bad things to cope. It's a road of disaster you're setting yourself up for.
 
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