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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Kicking

Well I hope you get lucky, you know what i mean, oh I just eat them, so for now I am trying to stay on the straight and narrow, I want to be clean, no specific reason, just personal goal, I guess, boring, I know.
 
Apparently not...oh well....I'm almost thru it. I couldn't have a habit right now where I was waking up in wds..
You aren't boring, you are a good person who has a tough life. Hug xx
 
Oh gosh, catching up reading, give me a bit too get going, and I'll come back. I hope you can taper hon, that's the road I had to take, I'm not healthy enough to go through full on wds. Since I've cut back about 80%, BAM! Here's my period which had started to fade and get skipped, a side effect of opiates I rather enjoyed physically lol. The pain is making me nauseas, let me just try to do some things so I feel better, and I'll visit with you guys. I miss you!

You guys are always on my mind and in my heart.

Lots of love and talk soon,
Peace xo
 
Oh my God, bono....

Jesus this life is just so cruel sometimes. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'll be caught up on the thread soon.

Big hugs everyone. Man :(

Peace xo
 
Better! So glad you are around! I was getting worried.
I've been at the docs with B. The absolute (insert expletive here), told him he had to accept some pain and was he willing to come off narcotics when they remove the tumor. Well that depends on if he's in screaming agony really....
And she brought up cancer without a fucking thought as to be kind or gentle.
He's a pain, but he's my pain in the ass, and no one is going to treat him like shit.
He's clean from meth, buts she's going on like opiates are his bag. He hates them. Hence him flushing my dope.
What happened o docs who write! He's really ill, with brain scans to prove it...I'm so angry..and sober...and clean

The wds are mostly over...I'm much better. Now I just want to get high with my shiny new reduced tolerance....
 
Better, sorry you are being crap. I got my period today, after it going missing a while. Hug.
How are things?
 
Bono! Hey! How's life today? I hope everything is as easy and pleasant as it can be...you managing the wds?
 
OMG! Can you possibly switch doctors? Unbelievable the stigma these doctors have. I would think about it, you may be able to find a caring one, anyway I am soo happy for you, being clean, congrats with a hug! My doc put me on neurontin and I took it yesterday and I can't take it, I feel weird, spacy, and I had a nightmare last night, now I feel hungover, but i am clean, day 7 so.... all you guys getting your periods cracks me up. I went through menopause in 2008 I think when my Jeff was killed I shut down, really bad, and so that happened .I will never get over him, time doesn't heal, it still is most painful thing ever, worse then labor. Bottle, hang in, I know that feeling after getting off stuff, the cravings are horrible, try stay busy, I am crocheting baby blankets atm. My daughter needs like 3 for people so that's good, anyway and ABW I am so glad you ok too sending much needed love and support !!! Bono
 
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Hello bono. I'm still clean, now very clear headed and not liking it much, but clean..
How are you?
I'm trying to find him a new doc. No one wants pain patients, I told him if she cuts him off, and he's in pain, ill look after him.
 
Wow, medicine sucks these days, everything is about the advancements and not the empathy of the patient, unbelievable. Isn't it amazing how the fog lifts after the physical withdrawls pass, I mean, the depression and guilt the first couple days are horrible, but then the light comes back on. I am counting, day 8. Yesterday I got out some, needed a wire for my computer, then I went to visit my old job, and it felt like I never left. I have a job waiting whenever, I needed to hear that, it lifted me up so much, I now have at lest 1 thing to look forward to, someday. And another reason to get and stay clean. Did get the infamous phone call, I turned it down. That doesn't happen much and I'm glad I said no, I only get the calls to meet their needs, not to see how I am, ya know. Keep up the good stuff, bono
 
I'm a day behind you, doing fine. I don't really feel guilty about using. I should do I guess. I'm much better, glad to hear things are going well for you too. Work sounds great! Well done, bono!
I'm only doing this for other people, but that's ok...
 
I am on day two of zero opiates, withdrawals have been longer since i obviously made a quick tapper ( 3 days ;). I had to deliver the newspaper driving 24Km with a bike carrying 40Kg of newspaper in zero degree Celsius. Usually a light task for me done in two hours yielding 40€ easy money, no shitty boss, cool music. But today oh my god. I had a night of bad sleep, and developing muscle soreness, from (light) squats a day before.
Yes i made it home but i was so drawn out, not imaginable, my legs hurt so bad, my legs where wobbly from the now fully developed soreness. I was drenched in sweat and deadly tired. I laid by my sleeping girlfriend and luckily found 2 hours sleep thanks to her lovely aura.

I think i take a bath later and go again to the gym when the clonidine had worn out, i don't like to do heavy task even on the low dose i take now. What else can one do to kill the malaise im in. I dont want to rely on the comfort meds i take now. Which consist of up to 2x 300mg pregabalin, 2x 75 ug clonidine, 2x2mg Loperamide, 7,5mg Diazepam, 1mg Clonazepam and finally some oral ab-fubinaca maybe 5mg.
I want to take this for a week on zero methadon/heroin and then dose everything down as fast as possible.

All i can do all day is listen to musik and drink bottles and bottles of coffee because i am sooo tired. So what are you doing? This is the first time kicking for me since a year and a half i think, and its all the same again, if you use two weeks or 1 year, its going to suck no matter what. But i was only 4 month on the done luckily, and on the higher side only the last two weeks (100mg+). Before that subutex/ heroin.
I usually combine opiates with benzodiazepines and cannabinoids, natural or synthetic.
 
Hang in there trip, it gets easier, if you can manage a 15 mile bike ride, in withdrawls, you probably have the worst behind ya. Can you get back on subs? My son brought my 12 speed bike over yesterday, funny you mention bikes, I took it to get fixed, I pick it up on April 2, can't wait! I can tell I am starting to feel better in the scheme of things, I am putting my money into things I know can help me have a healthier day, I am gonna get an odometer and new wrap for the handlebars, just my way of trying to stay positive. Bottle how are ya?? Thinking bout ya! Bono
 
Hi, Bono, nice that you think the worst is over, but dude this is methadone wds, i have to hang in for a month at least. I am just a really good trained bicycle rider, cause i have no drivers licence since 13 years, and i live in the middle of nowhere. Lost my licence, when i crashed into another car while sleeping behind the wheel, cause of too much alprazolam, diazepam, methadone, thc, and a terrible hangover. Fortunately nothing bad happened.
I am debating weather to go to the gym or not, the soreness in my quadriceps hardly lets me walk. And i would start with deadlifts today. And after that killing my whole back with pull exercises.
But i have got to go to school tomorrow and the day after, and i have to learn a lot, because i have been all messed up and sleeping, when i was even there. Fortunately there is still some intellect left after all these years of drug abuse. Just these benzos make me so forgetful. Its ridiculous, but i need to come off the done first.
 
I am so so sorry trip, did not realize it was methadone, wow, I have heard and read how nasty that is, keep posting, we will support any way we can, I am pulling for ya, try not overdue yourself with exercise yet, I know it is easier said than done, ineed to start an exercise program myself, to thy self be true!!
 
I was at the gym and am happy i did so. But i feel exhausted and miserable like nothing else. I popped 300mg pregabaline and 75ug clonidine evening dose, i hope to feel a little better from that. I dont know what to do my legs and nerve endings in my upper body hurt. I am dead tired but cant sleep. I am even too exhausted to take a bath. I am sure it would help a little bit, but the GF is blocking the bath! :D The worst of all i need to cook and i feel slight nausea. In previous WD i had a hard time battling this nausea, and keep eating with it.
 
Hey bono..I'm ok. How are you. I must work out pms and send you my email, and better way too.
Trip, I've never gone on methadone, but have heard the wds are awful. It sounds like you are at least up and about, which is good. Glad you have some stuff to help you thru.
 
Thanx, got it, and wrote ya, let me know that you got it, all is well, day 9 going good, can't complain xo!
 
Hi sorry to highjack your thread, ill just have to post my progress somwhere. Last night (4th night) i caved in and took 2 mg Buprenorphin. I was in severe pain, eventhough i doubled the comfort meds. My legs went crazy, and my whole upper body hurt like filled with electric charges. I could not find a position to sit in comfortably. I robbed with my front body side over the chair.

Anyway i feel guild now but want to continue, because i have another 5 days off tomorrow.

I sit now in school, the sub took away the worst pain so i could sleep 2 hours.
I still feel exhasted and drained, but i hope the sub will last till tomorrow.

I am awaiting the impending doom.

If i can only switch to low dose Sub, sucessufully i would be satisfied too.
Then i quit after my Education.
 
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