Kicking

I want him to love me. Not get angry, or pick on me. He's unfair. He isn't who I knew.
I don't care sex is over, he needs everything doing for him because his long term stim problem finally caused a stroke. That's ok. Just be fucking nice and warm to me.
 
I think with this kind of stroke it is only gonna get harder and nastier. You may need to rethink his placement, I'm only putting this out there for you, but he may not be able to control his emotions, and etc... you are in the direct line of fire, I get it, but you can't be abused either, xoxo J
 
I puke when I'm high and upset. So I've had my head in the bucket
Yes. Rethink time.
I might leave, let him stay. Go to a woman shelter
 
You are important, you need to take care of yourself too, maybe if he knows you are serious about leaving it will scare him, but honestly, with brain injuries, you never know, I would encourage him to go hospital so as you won't be abandoning him, these outbursts may be a sign of something else, maybe?? J
 
I will make sure the docs know I'm going. They can arrange care. His insurance is great.
Ill go tomorrow.
I'm trying to rescue me high
 
I'm unlovable.
40, a junkie, I'm lonely. I want what I had, an affectionate, passionate, caring partnership. Now I'm just alone, for as long as I live.
 
I know, I feel the same, life is over as I knew it, but try and hold on, something good always comes out of something not, I wish you were closer too, J
 
This bag is fire even plugged..
I'm half happy, half wish I could enjoy without the upset puked
 
Sun,

Can you somehow have someone tske over his care for at last several hours a week, if not per day?

Would his insurance cover any help?

Sending much love to all.

Peace.
 
Thank you for the love.
I'm here..
I don't think he would accept anyone else caring for him
He would refuse.

I'm just disappearing back into the bag. If that makes me unlovable I don't care. Heroin doesn't judge me, snap at me x and a song as I have it, I feel good . My tolly isn't out of control yet, so it's good times.
 
I don't like to get high I need to. It does things no psych med does for ptsd from being abused @$ a kid
It makes the world softer, Warmer takes the pain and the flashbacks away.I thought he got it.
Now he's different and not nice to me.
I can't do this. I'm a nice person, decent enough, caring, sweet, affectionate . I ask for very little
.
 
Popping in to send my love and well wishes....

Sorry I've been so busy and not on here much.

I will stop by longer as soon as I'm able to.

So much love to you..... Praying for you. I know not everyone believes in prayer, I'm also just sending good energy and love to you. Close your eyes and feel the love. It's there.

Big hugs, beautiful.

Peace.
 
Big hugs back, sweetheart.
I'm ok..doing way too much dope right now. I'm content with just enough iv, but always push it when that's not possible. Spending much of the night puking...I'm going to go easy tonight.
I miss you. Be kind to yourself.
Hugs
X
 
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