Hello all,
I am a new member who is just reaching out for some help. I am an RN who has lost their way. I have developed a habit of shooting dilaudid and have taken the steps to set my self up for a short wean and am absolutely committed to stopping this before it takes my health, the career that I love and the relationships with my friends, family and loved ones. A part of me is very afraid of speaking out about this given my career and the potential consequences that knowledge of my habit could cause, but I have taken time away to heal myself mentally and physically before returning to work. Is there anyone who has been through this before and would be willing to help coach me through their experience and support me through my own? I would be eternally grateful!! Also, if I am doing or saying something inappropriate for this site please let me know! I'm a noob and don't want to start off with my foot in my mouth!! Thanks!!
Look into either a maintenance drug like suboxone, or if you don't want to get doctors involved, I highly highly recommend Kratom (a popular tree/plant from asia, that has been known as the perfect drug for opiate withdrawal, the asians use it to beat opium withdrawal, you can look up kratom and buy some online. It's cheap as hell and legal in almost all states except for like 2 I think, you can get a kilo of the stuff for under 200 bucks from a good source as well. It makes quitting real opiates a piece of cake, and the important thing is that you stop shooting above all else, as it makes the opiate drug use 10x more dangerous, not just because you can OD really easily, but also because you can get all sorts of infections and diseases, and from a bad abscess you could lose a limb, from any type of contamination at all, you can get blood infections which are very serious, or endocarditis, again very serious. IV drug use kills a lot of people not from overdose, but because without perfect sterile technique and micron filtering, the risk for bacterial infections is always going to be high. If you shoot dilaudid pills, micron filtering them is a must.
Kratom is a plant product grinded usually very finely so you just mix with with a beverage and drink it orally, there is no temptation to abuse it with any other method of adminsitration, because a dose is several grams (good luck snorting that, but its plant matter anyways so you wouldn't get effects if you even tried lol) or even up to 10 grams if you are getting off a big habit. Kratom itself is also addictive because the reason it works so well for opiate withdrawal is because it also has strong effects on the opiate system, although I believe it's just a partial opiate agonist, not a full agonist like dilaudid or heroin. So it kind of has like a ceiling dose for effects so it basically has a self mechanism to prevent abuse, and apparently it also has some opiate antagonists within it which I can a test to (basically, the drug has alkaloids in it that help prevent tolerance building, because tolerance from kratom, for me personally at least, who used it to get off fentanyl and heroin many months ago, barely have had any tolerance rising issues at all from kratom, and it just doesn't have that same fiendish cravings like real opiates such as heroin and hydromorphone do. Like, when I was abusing heroin and fentanyl, I'd be redosing constantly throughout the day, trying to chase the high, but with kratom I have no issue at all controlling my usage, which has stayed the same since I used it to detox off other opiates. Once in the morning, and once in the evening, between 5-10 grams per each dose. I could never control my usage of heroin or other popular euphoric opiates, but with kratom, I can buy enough for 2 months, and it actually last 2 months. When I used to buy heroin for a "week", it was gone within a day, 2 at the most lol.
Kratom is like the perfect detoxing and maintenance drug. Don't get me wrong, it really does have legit, strong opiate effects, so eventually you will have to get off of it with a taper, but kratom withdrawals are no where near the intensity of real opiate withdrawals, especially the ones like heroin and fentanyl. Kratom withdrawal doesn't involve non stop puking, or severe diahrea, or really bad stomach cramps, or completely bed bound. The withdrawal effects are a large part mental (depression, anxiety, craving), but you still do get some of the annoying opiate withdrawals like restless legs, depression, anxiety, lack of energy, but it's a walk in the park compared to an IV opiate withdrawals.
It made me get off heroin and fentanyl almost instantly, because it does such a great job at making the withdrawal easy as hell, and you still get an opiate buzz from it albeit light, so after the first few days while you get started on kratom instead of your iv dilaudid, after those first days when the withdrawal would be really awful, it also completely helps you from relapsing because it fills the void that IV opiates have left in you.
It was literally a life saver for me!