AllorNothing
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2015
- Messages
- 79
First let me apologize if this should be in BDD. I see a lot about opiate withdrawal in there but this post isn't asking specifics. Plus I can't scroll through BDD without letting myself be triggered. So please let me keep this in the recovery section mods.
So I took my last dose of H an hr ago. I know me and I will be full swing withdrawling by 1 am tomorrow morning if not sooner. My addiction is about a half gram to full gram of decent quality a day. Just giving anyone reading an idea of my tolerance. I will do my best to continue posting everyday with updates but last time I tried this I triggered myself on day 3-4 browsing BDD and went to score. You may not see any posts day 3-4 from me but that doesn't mean I fell of the wagon so to speak (however my history shows that's entirely possible).
I don't need withdrawal cures/remedies. I've tried everything from lope to kratom and none of it ever seems to work for me. It's probably all in my head but none the less the tease of "maybe it will work" drives me bat shit insane. That means I'm just gonna cold turkey tomorrow and ride it out. I just need support more than anything. A group to be accountable to. I've got a wonderful 'normie" gf that is here for me but when she's not around I may need a "break glass in case of withdrawal fit" plan.
I have to do it this time. I've messed up my life real good this time. You all know how that goes. I just have to, she's been through so much these last few months because of me. And beyond that I'm sick and fucking tired of this life. I deserve better and so does she.
I'll report back later. Thanks everyone!
So I took my last dose of H an hr ago. I know me and I will be full swing withdrawling by 1 am tomorrow morning if not sooner. My addiction is about a half gram to full gram of decent quality a day. Just giving anyone reading an idea of my tolerance. I will do my best to continue posting everyday with updates but last time I tried this I triggered myself on day 3-4 browsing BDD and went to score. You may not see any posts day 3-4 from me but that doesn't mean I fell of the wagon so to speak (however my history shows that's entirely possible).
I don't need withdrawal cures/remedies. I've tried everything from lope to kratom and none of it ever seems to work for me. It's probably all in my head but none the less the tease of "maybe it will work" drives me bat shit insane. That means I'm just gonna cold turkey tomorrow and ride it out. I just need support more than anything. A group to be accountable to. I've got a wonderful 'normie" gf that is here for me but when she's not around I may need a "break glass in case of withdrawal fit" plan.
I have to do it this time. I've messed up my life real good this time. You all know how that goes. I just have to, she's been through so much these last few months because of me. And beyond that I'm sick and fucking tired of this life. I deserve better and so does she.
I'll report back later. Thanks everyone!
