I read an excellent book on addiction and found the method described in it extremely helpful both in getting over any kind of addiction and improving your mental health in general (anxiety, depression, thoughts or behaviours you want to change, etc). It's not an easy magic cure and does take effort on your part, but really, there will
never be a magic effortless cure for addiction and I think this is the most effective method I have ever come across. Another great thing about it is that it can be used alongside almost any other treatment for addiction or mental issues, it is not a dogma where you have to believe in it and only it, and you can adapt it to whatever you think will be helpful for you. It's success is not defined solely by a number of days abstinent from all drugs/alcohol but by improvement in your life.
So I will try to sum it up as briefly as possible.
STEP 1: RE-LABEL
Re-label your addictive urges for what they are instead of mistaking them for reality. You may have a feeling that you
need a drug. Tell yourself that you don't
need it, it just feels like you do. You don't have to listen to that craving. It is just the dysfunctional addicted part of your brain that makes it feel like a real need.
STEP 2: RE-ATTRIBUTE
Place the blame directly where it belongs, on your brain. Have compassion for yourself. The addictive urge originated in neurological circuits that were programmed into your brain a long time ago. It represents a dopamine/endorphin hunger on the part of brain systems that, early in your life, lacked the necessary conditions for full development. Instead of blaming yourself for having addictive desires, ask yourself why you allow these desires to have such a powerful hold over you. Addiction is not a moral failure or a character weakness, it is the effect of circumstances you had no control over at the time. What you do have some control over is how you now choose to respond to the compulsion.
STEP 3: RE-FOCUS
Rather than engage in the addictive activity or take the drug, find something else you like to do, even just for 10 or 15 minutes. Choose something that you enjoy, that will distract you and that will keep you active. Ideally something healthy and creative. You don't have to do the drug, you can choose something else. Exercise, music, art, whatever you like.
STEP 4: RE-VALUE
Remember all the reasons you want to quit the drug (or change the behaviour). Your addicted mind has been fooled into thinking that the addiction is the highest priority. Addiction has taken over the attachment-reward and incentive-motivation circuits in your brain, making you believe that the drug will solve all your problems and make you happy. Ask yourself what it has really done for you: make you spend all your money, wasted your time, made you even more depressed than you were before, made you feel ashamed or alone, made you feel out of control, whatever ways your personal addiction has affected you. Don't feel guilty about this, just re-value your addiction for what it really is: it is not the most important and valuable thing in life, it is worthless and damaging.
STEP 5: RE-CREATE
Choose a different life. You don't have to let your addicted brain control what you do, you can choose the life you really want. Envision how you want to be, think and feel. It might be scary to imagine a life without the drug, and you might be afraid that you will stumble, but that's ok, you're only human.
Repeat these steps every day or every time you have a craving. It can be helpful to write them down and write out your thoughts and progress as you go along. You can adapt this method for non-substance addictions or for any other thoughts or behaviours you want to change. It
is hard work to change one's way of thinking, but it is worth it. One of the principles behind this method is learning to be able to observe your thoughts and feelings without letting them control you. For example, instead of trying to will yourself never to think about the drug, acknowledge that you have those thoughts, have compassion for yourself, and realize that you don't
have to act on them.
This method is adapted from the 5 steps created by Dr Gabor Mate and Dr Jeffrey Schwartz. More in-depth info on this method and on addiction in general can be found in Mate's book
In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts.
Please let me know if you have any questions or would like more info
