JohnnyComa
Bluelighter
I did ketamine for the first time the other night with two anonymous bluelighters (who I will refer to as BL-A and BL-B). We took the ketamine (provided by BL-A, who is awesome) in lines on my coffee table, so I'm unsure of my particular dose, but it looked as if there was about a gram that we split between the three of us.
I took my line and sat down, disappointed after a few minutes because the drug hadn't hit yet. I felt like I hadn't taken enough, so I sat down and began to converse for another few minutes and got up to go to the bathroom. I felt light-headed as I was walking back into the room, so we turned some of the lights out and put some LCD Soundsystem on.
As I went from sitting to standing, I began to notice that the way my body was interacting with my space was completely different than it was about 10 minutes ago. I felt the best way for me to properly experience the drug was by moving, taking a few steps and then stopping. It was as if the entire world around me was a few seconds behind; everytime I stopped moving, it would take a second to catch back up.
When I hit the deepest part of the trip, I came to a point where I felt as if I was watching myself perform every action from a dark room. In my head, I would tell myself to do something, suck as "move forward" or "pick up this glass", and my body would respond. It was a very spacy feeling, like I was in total control of what was happening, yet my true self was my mental manifestation, floating in some abyss and connected only by sight.
At the end of the most intense moments, I began testing the limits of my control by trying to force nausea on myself. After a few seconds of mentally concentrating on this, the room began to spin, my heart rate increased, and I began to go into a panic mode. I sat down, forced myself to perform some breathing techniques, and got back into a good part of the trip. Apparently I had more control than I thought.
I was sitting on the couch when BL-A left. BL-B went to see BL-A out of the building, and my mind began to wander. As I began to come down from the trip, I felt alright to walk around again, listening to LCD, grasping what was left of my floating consciousness. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice BL-B come back in and lock himself in the bathroom.
I kept asking, "is anyone in here?" and I could have sworn that I heard something, but decided that I was tripping myself out. I was pleasantly and humorously surprised when BL-B walked out of bathroom.
The rest of the night was dedicated to post-trip loafing, just sitting there after being mentally tapped into a stream of consciousness greater than our own.
The next morning, I woke up feeling slightly depressed, but otherwise fine. I attributed the depression to a bad dream that I had, but after further research I can't help but wonder if it had anything to do with ketamine's affect on seratonin, dopamine, and GABA receptors.
PROS:
- The ability to interact with my space in a new manner. Fluid, floaty motion throughout my environment
- A new awareness of myself, both mentally and physically, but most importantly an awareness of the separation from my mental and physical self.
- To put it more bluntly, watching myself in a dark room like a movie, and controlling my every action just by thought.
- A generally calm and serene frame of mind, pleasantly satisfied with my situation.
CONS:
- Complete and total mental control, which led me into the brief panic attack. Somewhat of a "curiosity killed the cat" scenario, because I subjectively forced myself into that corner. Never a good idea to try to make yourself have a bad trip, but I decided that for the sake of science I test the limits of the drug's effect on my body.
- Depressing feelings the next morning, which may or may not be due to the drugs effects on my neurotransmitters. (to quote mitch hedberg, "the first and the middle part were amazing. I'm not about to stop doing something because of what happens at the end. mitch, would you like an apple? no, eventually it will become a core!")
OVERALL:
I feel like I had a very pleasant experience on ketamine. While feeling the effects of the drug, I had a keen awareness of myself and those around me, in addition to a pleasant state of mind, despite my brief panic attack. I can definitely see the comparison to other psychedelics and disassociatives - not as mind expanding as LSD or shrooms, but sharing some negative characteristics like that of a bad trip.
I would compare my brief negative experience with ketamine to my negative experience with 2cb. In the midst of the panic attack, my mental state quickly dumbed down to a "fight/flee" state, as I sat myself down away from the group in order to get a better grasp on myself (exactly what I did when I had a bad trip on 2cb).
Of course, aside from this it was a great experience and I look forward to doing it again. Hopefully I will be able to combine the effects with MDMA next time, and will be able to completely enjoy my trip now that I recognize the potential this substance has.
substancecode_ketamine
I took my line and sat down, disappointed after a few minutes because the drug hadn't hit yet. I felt like I hadn't taken enough, so I sat down and began to converse for another few minutes and got up to go to the bathroom. I felt light-headed as I was walking back into the room, so we turned some of the lights out and put some LCD Soundsystem on.
As I went from sitting to standing, I began to notice that the way my body was interacting with my space was completely different than it was about 10 minutes ago. I felt the best way for me to properly experience the drug was by moving, taking a few steps and then stopping. It was as if the entire world around me was a few seconds behind; everytime I stopped moving, it would take a second to catch back up.
When I hit the deepest part of the trip, I came to a point where I felt as if I was watching myself perform every action from a dark room. In my head, I would tell myself to do something, suck as "move forward" or "pick up this glass", and my body would respond. It was a very spacy feeling, like I was in total control of what was happening, yet my true self was my mental manifestation, floating in some abyss and connected only by sight.
At the end of the most intense moments, I began testing the limits of my control by trying to force nausea on myself. After a few seconds of mentally concentrating on this, the room began to spin, my heart rate increased, and I began to go into a panic mode. I sat down, forced myself to perform some breathing techniques, and got back into a good part of the trip. Apparently I had more control than I thought.
I was sitting on the couch when BL-A left. BL-B went to see BL-A out of the building, and my mind began to wander. As I began to come down from the trip, I felt alright to walk around again, listening to LCD, grasping what was left of my floating consciousness. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice BL-B come back in and lock himself in the bathroom.
I kept asking, "is anyone in here?" and I could have sworn that I heard something, but decided that I was tripping myself out. I was pleasantly and humorously surprised when BL-B walked out of bathroom.
The rest of the night was dedicated to post-trip loafing, just sitting there after being mentally tapped into a stream of consciousness greater than our own.
The next morning, I woke up feeling slightly depressed, but otherwise fine. I attributed the depression to a bad dream that I had, but after further research I can't help but wonder if it had anything to do with ketamine's affect on seratonin, dopamine, and GABA receptors.
PROS:
- The ability to interact with my space in a new manner. Fluid, floaty motion throughout my environment
- A new awareness of myself, both mentally and physically, but most importantly an awareness of the separation from my mental and physical self.
- To put it more bluntly, watching myself in a dark room like a movie, and controlling my every action just by thought.
- A generally calm and serene frame of mind, pleasantly satisfied with my situation.
CONS:
- Complete and total mental control, which led me into the brief panic attack. Somewhat of a "curiosity killed the cat" scenario, because I subjectively forced myself into that corner. Never a good idea to try to make yourself have a bad trip, but I decided that for the sake of science I test the limits of the drug's effect on my body.
- Depressing feelings the next morning, which may or may not be due to the drugs effects on my neurotransmitters. (to quote mitch hedberg, "the first and the middle part were amazing. I'm not about to stop doing something because of what happens at the end. mitch, would you like an apple? no, eventually it will become a core!")
OVERALL:
I feel like I had a very pleasant experience on ketamine. While feeling the effects of the drug, I had a keen awareness of myself and those around me, in addition to a pleasant state of mind, despite my brief panic attack. I can definitely see the comparison to other psychedelics and disassociatives - not as mind expanding as LSD or shrooms, but sharing some negative characteristics like that of a bad trip.
I would compare my brief negative experience with ketamine to my negative experience with 2cb. In the midst of the panic attack, my mental state quickly dumbed down to a "fight/flee" state, as I sat myself down away from the group in order to get a better grasp on myself (exactly what I did when I had a bad trip on 2cb).
Of course, aside from this it was a great experience and I look forward to doing it again. Hopefully I will be able to combine the effects with MDMA next time, and will be able to completely enjoy my trip now that I recognize the potential this substance has.
substancecode_ketamine
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