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Ketamine - Second Time - what the jesus fuck, am I broken?

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StereoLogic

Bluelighter
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Jun 23, 2009
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Toronto
I wrote a trip report on my first round with ketamine on friday, posted it saturday morning. I didn't quite feel like enjoyable was a word I would use. I think this is because of all the small doses me and my partner did. It pretty much just made me heavy, slow, and irritated. I figured since I had one last vial of it, I dont know why I bought 2, that I would keep it for another time when I felt like giving it a second go with doing a much larger dosage.

Now I realize this probably wasn't my best idea, but from what I read with people mixing mdma and ketamine, its been mostly pleasurable. I however, did not find this pleasurable. Infact it was much worst then the first time, infact it was so bad I dont think I could even possibly try ketamine again.

It was going to be just a mdma night ( since the night before with the ketamine was a big downer ). Planned it , house to our selves, we figured it would spark up some good talk, maybe a little romance. Like a more fun replacement for wine. Well it went good for me, but I think because of metabolism factors, my girlfriend didnt really roll, and it took her like 2 and a half hours to get there. I felt bad, because she was horribly depressed that she had a tough day and was missing out on all the fun. Decided , alright, well lets get out the ketamine, since her response to it was better then mine. This time we broke the vial into 4 peices, so roughly 62.5 mg lines. I was on the come down before we started to try this. Instantly, within like a minutes, I am way the fuck out there in terms of not being abled to think, not being abled to move, not tripping in a fun kind of way, but almost comatose. Time retarded itself so bad, music was so irritated, and eventually it felt like time stopped completely, and the world around me frozen, but normal to view, but i was still unable to move or even process thoughts in any shape or form. If this is right, why the hell is this enjoyable ? No visuals , either time i did it, no sense of euphoria, no happiness, just the pain and struggle of trying to be abled to think, even if crazy tripped out thoughts. But it just felt like the struggle to sober up. And then for some retarded reason when i could start to move again, OH WHAT THE FUCK, LETS JUST FINISH IT. So now im digital sounding, im so slow i can hear my voice trail, im not even aware my partner is in the room, and all i can think is shit, i would really like to talk to someone. Fuck it was a lonely 3 hours.

I realize I made some big mistakes, i.e two days in a row, and taking more when the first hit wasnt good. I do have at times an addicting personality, and if i dont achieve something i was set out to do, I will push for it. But why was this so bad? I read about people being abled to completely zone out, and all i could do was try and make sense of the reality around me, even though i was a potatoe with next to no brain activity or movement. Too much? Too little? I was kind of hoping for something a little profound, but maybe that was my problem too. Any kind of insight would be greatly appreciated.

Oh and also, I would like to mention about the lack of visuals, this is the same case with shrooms, and salvia. I'm starting to think Im broken and I just cant hallucinate. Maybe I should just try lsd if i want to so bad. *sigh*

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ketamine
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_secondtime
exptype_negative
exptype_difficult
roacode_nasal
 
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I never tried ketamine but from the sound of it your dose was not enough to get the psychedelic effects or Out Of Body experience.
 
I think if I did more then that I would just stop living. It was excruciatingly painful dealing with the frustration that ensued. It was like a bad fever dream that wouldnt end, except it was real, way too real.
 
This might belong in PDD.

Ketamine may just not be for you. I've had a few similar experiences with it.

Oh and also, I would like to mention about the lack of visuals, this is the same case with shrooms, and salvia. I'm starting to think Im broken and I just cant hallucinate. Maybe I should just try lsd if i want to so bad. *sigh*
Click to expand...

I'm going to suggest DMT, if that won't make you trip then you certainly are broken :D or DMT + MDMA if you need an almost guaranteed "good trip".

EDIT: Once I took a very reckless beyond K-Hole dose, after snapping out of a frozen trance (as described by friends) I was completely incapable of comprehension or anything else really. The trip felt like years. Insane visuals, like I was in a dali painting, a 5 dollar bill was melting at the bottom and growing horns at the top. I was severely worried I would never be able to think straight again.
 
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StereoLogic said:
I think if I did more then that I would just stop living. It was excruciatingly painful dealing with the frustration that ensued. It was like a bad fever dream that wouldnt end, except it was real, way too real.
Click to expand...

I guess ketamine might not be for you then. *shrug*
 
Some people do not like dissociative drugs, they feel "dead" in a bad way, while others (including me) enjoy them profusely. Reminds me that I have ~700 mg of dextromethorphan around here somewhere.
 
I wish i could ponder, or think, or be critical, or anything, but I cant. Im just brain fried to hell with no ability to be anything then suffering. From the feedback, I guess its just not for me. I really want to try lsd this summer, maybe ill get the fix im looking for, a little vision, a little out of the box thinking.
 
i think dissociatives (NMDA antagonists) are simply a niche drug class, many people find them dysphoric, frightening and uncomfortable. personally, i think they're great. i love the intense sense of bizarreness and the wobbly body high. i dont really get 'visuals' on this type of drug either, at least not in the LSD kinda way.

definitely go for the LSD if you get the chance. i think it is much more 'user friendly' than ketamine, and you'll be much more likely to see some nice visuals. if you can handle shrooms, i think you'll love LSD (it's better in every way IMO).
 
One advantage of K over doing LSD is the length of experience and the recovery time - couple of hours and your in and out and over your K experience. LSD you need two days - one to experience the high and one to make sense of it!
 
Hi,

I recently posted a very long post about the drug synergy that I call Gascid (Nitrous Oxide on top of LSD). If you read it you would know that I have a real passion for this experience.

However, I have not been able to do it for two years - owing the the nitrous in the whippits having had their formula changed (some brands), and I have missed this realm a lot.

I had tried Ketamine a couple of times, and had found it mildly interesting, but nothing special at all. But about a year ago I got some and decided to inject it, instead of snorting it (I don't usue needles as a habit - but for certian things, IM is the best route of administration.

The experience that followed was *much* stronger and different to when I had sniffed it. I won't bother describing it now. But it was the first and only thing that kind of reminded me of Gascid. Completely different experience, yet somehow pruducing the same information that comes out in Gascid. Kind of like a distant cousian - but still with a clear commonality.

I have done it maybe 5 times like this in the last year, and have gone at times quite deep into it. I find it quite a frightening experience at first, but I have learned to embrace the dissolving of my consciousness, ego, identity. I feel it to be a very profound experience, if you use it correctly.

So this is really the point. You used Ketamine in the wrong way (at least I think so). I know lots of people who do what you do, and seen to enjoy it. But for me, Ketamine is some thing that you do at home, in a nice comfortanle setting. You understand that this experience is not one you are going to move around on or have conversations. you are going to be semi asleep - at least from the outside - and you are going to relax into the experience and let it slowly overwhelm you. and you will give yourself willingly to experience.

That's Ketamine for me - and I think it's brilliant. I would never add K to the mix at a party. I can't see any point in it. So before you write it off completely as a bad thing - why not try and do it the way that gives you the greatest shance of a good experience. Be willing to accept that it may get frightening for a while - you may even have a near death experience ( I've had a few) - but you know that you are completely safe. This drug is normally given in much higher doses - to actually induce unconsciousness. It does not depress your breathing, so if you get worried about that - just don't - your body will look after itself while your mind take a vacation.

Just food for thought...
 
OP, I've only ever seen 500 mg vials...... maybe your quarter-vial lines were really 125 mg, instead of 62.5 mg. Just wonderin'. :\

Yeah, I love the utter confusion of the K hole..... I always forget that I have taken a drug, and think I've completely lost my mind, and nothing will ever be the same again.... it's so cool. %)=D
 
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