abracadabra girl
Ex-Bluelighter
I've used ketamine several times, insufflated up to 300mg at a time with pleasant results, but never got close to a K-hole. I was hanging out with friends and decided to try it IM. They thought 150mg would be a good dose and I agreed. The shot did not hurt at all, and within 5 minutes I began to feel floaty. I had staked out a seat on the couch, but when it began to hit, someone suggested I lie down on the couch. It took a lot of effort to move around, as is usually the case on K, but I got to a comfortable spot half-sitting with my feet up. I noticed if I touched my face I was completely numb and I knew I would be going deeper than I had before, and I was excited.
For the most part I was drifting along half-listening to the conversation in the room, which was a comforting sound even when I wasn't following the content. The TV was on, and a couple of times it got my attention in a negative way, when someone on screen was yelling or ominous music was playing. When I felt those negative vibes or when I felt overwhelmed from the sensations of light headedness or from trying to follow the conversation and being unable to, I would close my eyes for a while. When I closed my eyes, I saw a mosaic of tiny bricks in a constantly moving scene. It was as if the landscape was flattening into bricks of packed sand as it moved along. The scene was different each time, with various rooms, tunnels, etc. One time it started crumbling away slowly, and I felt a physical sensation as if my body was made of packed sand and slowly began to crumble away. This was not scary at all, it felt very interesting and I wish I had kept my eyes closed to experience it longer. I felt like if I had my eyes closed too long people would worry, so I made an effort to open them again as soon as I could.
A few times people would ask me if I was okay, and I managed to say I was or simply flash a thumbs-up sign. I was probably sitting motionless for an hour or more experiencing the show in my head. It was an effort to speak, but I did put simple sentences together a few times. I did not think any deep thoughts as I had expected to do in a K-hole, and I was at least moderately aware of my surroundings throughout, although I was not aware of the passing of time. But for the most part I was just enjoying the visuals and the spacy feeling. I was still half-reclining, and several times I wanted to lie down completely, but when I started to move I felt nausea so I stayed put. A few times I felt uncomfortably overwhelmed by my disorientation and thought maybe dissociatives just aren't for me, but I quickly told myself to just go with it, and enjoy the trip, and that always worked.
At one point I got sweaty and I realized I was probably going to throw up, but I didn't have the ability to say anything to get help. Luckily someone noticed and brought me a container just in time for me to throw up into it. At the same time I was throwing up, I also pissed myself, although I didn't realize this until much later which was embarrassing. But everyone was very cool and didn't make me feel bad at all.
I was still high after this but the peak was over. I was able to stand up, but I didn't have enough balance to walk safely, so I sat back down. It took about another half hour to feel relatively normal again. I was still nauseous during the entire comedown. Everyone else was coming down too, so we sat around and talked for about another hour before going home. A few people had been painting during the trip, and we admired the painting that had appeared almost magically. I remembered seeing swaths of color appear during my trip but to see the finished product was a beautiful thing.
Thoughts:
I don't know if the dose was too high for me, or if it was actually the correct dose and nausea was just a side effect. I was dissociated but not sure if that is what is generally called a K-hole. I have felt much more dissociated on THC at times, and not in a pleasant way. But this trip was at least pleasant for me. I could remember snippets of conversation spaced through the whole evening so I know I was semi-present for at least a few seconds at a time throughout the hour I was tripping. I can't say I learned anything or opened portals in my mind. It was visuals and physical sensation rather than a time for deep thought.
I'd also like to thank my host and the other guests for making me feel comfortable even when I wasn't in control of my body and put them through some unpleasantness. They really made me feel taken care of and accepted, and I am grateful for that. I would have felt very badly otherwise.
I hope I don't make this sound like a bad time. It was really a good experience overall. I still don't know if dissociatives are the right choice for me or not. I would try it at least once more to find out.
For the most part I was drifting along half-listening to the conversation in the room, which was a comforting sound even when I wasn't following the content. The TV was on, and a couple of times it got my attention in a negative way, when someone on screen was yelling or ominous music was playing. When I felt those negative vibes or when I felt overwhelmed from the sensations of light headedness or from trying to follow the conversation and being unable to, I would close my eyes for a while. When I closed my eyes, I saw a mosaic of tiny bricks in a constantly moving scene. It was as if the landscape was flattening into bricks of packed sand as it moved along. The scene was different each time, with various rooms, tunnels, etc. One time it started crumbling away slowly, and I felt a physical sensation as if my body was made of packed sand and slowly began to crumble away. This was not scary at all, it felt very interesting and I wish I had kept my eyes closed to experience it longer. I felt like if I had my eyes closed too long people would worry, so I made an effort to open them again as soon as I could.
A few times people would ask me if I was okay, and I managed to say I was or simply flash a thumbs-up sign. I was probably sitting motionless for an hour or more experiencing the show in my head. It was an effort to speak, but I did put simple sentences together a few times. I did not think any deep thoughts as I had expected to do in a K-hole, and I was at least moderately aware of my surroundings throughout, although I was not aware of the passing of time. But for the most part I was just enjoying the visuals and the spacy feeling. I was still half-reclining, and several times I wanted to lie down completely, but when I started to move I felt nausea so I stayed put. A few times I felt uncomfortably overwhelmed by my disorientation and thought maybe dissociatives just aren't for me, but I quickly told myself to just go with it, and enjoy the trip, and that always worked.
At one point I got sweaty and I realized I was probably going to throw up, but I didn't have the ability to say anything to get help. Luckily someone noticed and brought me a container just in time for me to throw up into it. At the same time I was throwing up, I also pissed myself, although I didn't realize this until much later which was embarrassing. But everyone was very cool and didn't make me feel bad at all.
I was still high after this but the peak was over. I was able to stand up, but I didn't have enough balance to walk safely, so I sat back down. It took about another half hour to feel relatively normal again. I was still nauseous during the entire comedown. Everyone else was coming down too, so we sat around and talked for about another hour before going home. A few people had been painting during the trip, and we admired the painting that had appeared almost magically. I remembered seeing swaths of color appear during my trip but to see the finished product was a beautiful thing.
Thoughts:
I don't know if the dose was too high for me, or if it was actually the correct dose and nausea was just a side effect. I was dissociated but not sure if that is what is generally called a K-hole. I have felt much more dissociated on THC at times, and not in a pleasant way. But this trip was at least pleasant for me. I could remember snippets of conversation spaced through the whole evening so I know I was semi-present for at least a few seconds at a time throughout the hour I was tripping. I can't say I learned anything or opened portals in my mind. It was visuals and physical sensation rather than a time for deep thought.
I'd also like to thank my host and the other guests for making me feel comfortable even when I wasn't in control of my body and put them through some unpleasantness. They really made me feel taken care of and accepted, and I am grateful for that. I would have felt very badly otherwise.
I hope I don't make this sound like a bad time. It was really a good experience overall. I still don't know if dissociatives are the right choice for me or not. I would try it at least once more to find out.
Last edited:
