Ketamine has given me a strange motivation.

[thatdreamer123]

I recently got accepted to the University of British Columbia, and this has been one of the biggest accomplishments of my life so far.

I am in my last year of high school here in the United States, and ever since this acceptance (and just this year overall) I have found it very hard to apply myself and put very much effort at all into my schoolwork. To keep my acceptance I must retain somewhat good grades and not just completely fuck up. Currently I am almost failing an AP class that I had to taken against my will (my parents) and am in a relatively easy writing class that I've had three weeks to write an essay I hadn't even started.

Mainly, I've just been putting a lot off. More than I should.

Friday night, I went over to a very close buddy's house that I hadn't seen in nearly a year. He is back for the summer from the school he transferred to in canada for hockey (his father played in the NHL and he most likely will to). Him and I have been experimenting with drugs since we were probably 14/15. Late that night after hanging out with family and having an otherwise great sober night, he asked if I had anything we could try.

I just received some extremely high quality ketamine (we're talking about as pure as it gets). I explained to him what it was, what the effects were (neither of us had tried it), what the risks, and basically everything one might want to know. We are both versed in Harm Reduction.

We both went down to his basement, and I laid out a total of 4 lines of it. Between the both of us, I highly doubt we were about to consume even 100mg each, if that. We both did our first lines, and were feeling very funny (seems to be typical moderate ket high), and then after about 10 minutes we both snorted the second lines which were moderately bigger.

This put me into a deeper state.

I entered a place where I mentally envisioned my life a year later. In the big city of vancouver, seeing this good friend of mine regularly who I had missed, meeting all new people, just having the time of my life. And I did not feel this joy, but I sort of viewed it objectively. In a way like, how could you ever pass that up somehow? It was such a beautiful thing. And I felt being baffled by myself, how I was putting off school. even though it might not effect this future, but why risk it? This future is too much to put on the line to go drink and extra night in the weekend. Or go out and smoke rather than do my homework.

When I came out of the high, I knew I had to apply myself more. Not a paranoid, scared I wasn't going to get accepted, but more of a; finish strong I know I've got it in me.

I went home that next morning and wrote nearly half of the essay along with a bunch of chemistry stuff. And I felt really good, very calm and serene.

One thing I've noticed since then, when I think about everything I need to get done in the near future, I usually get this sort of light drop and sickly feeling in my stomach. The feeling you get when you are overwhelmed with obligations. But this has vanished. It's now sort of a "Well, why don't you do something about it and go get it done?"

It's now been 2 days since the ketamine, and I still feel very different.

Is this common? It's like I'm seeing life in a much more logical and objective, but very happy way. It's like I can see through this cloud of senior year I-just-wanna-get-fucked-up mentality and I can see what I really need to work for.

 

[vibrancy3]

It's great that ketamine is helping you see the world (and maybe partly your life ambitions) in a different reality. I would agree that this dissociate helps you look at life in a logical way and that it can help you focus on a task with passion (i am kind of guilty for spending alot of time dj'ing on the stuff)

I would suggest you treat the chemical with respect and do not use it as an aid for university rather a treat for party's.

(I cant contradict myself through as i self taught myself to dj using amphetamines lol) Hopefully someone with more knowledge and wisdom can answer your question overall.

 

[Okami]

I've had a similar realisation like that on ketamine though I didn't end up working more in the long run. I think that might have been a realisation you would have come to regardless because it was something that was worrying you or you were thinking about subconciously and it just happened to happen on ketamine.

 

[Foreigner]

Ultra low dose ketamine has changed my life. Tiny doses of 10mg have changed my outlook and behavior for the better. I wrote about it here. What you're doing would be considered ketamine abuse if done frequently, but what you're describing is common.

Congrats on getting into UBC. I went there, but it ended up not being right for me. The campus there is beautiful. Be sure to check out Wreck Beach

 

[thatdreamer123]

It's great that ketamine is helping you see the world (and maybe partly your life ambitions) in a different reality. I would agree that this dissociate helps you look at life in a logical way and that it can help you focus on a task with passion (i am kind of guilty for spending alot of time dj'ing on the stuff)

I would suggest you treat the chemical with respect and do not use it as an aid for university rather a treat for party's.

(I cant contradict myself through as i self taught myself to dj using amphetamines lol) Hopefully someone with more knowledge and wisdom can answer your question overall.

At this point I've almost devoted my entire life to producing music and DJing. And I think what I was doing was putting everything else in my life before that stuff. And the ketamine kinda made me think, well you can still do all this next year when you're where you really want to be. And that although this is my passion, there IS more to life. And that I don't have to let me passion take over everything else.

I understand to never use drugs as an aid or coping mechanism. Although I do enjoy taking things from them as I have with this experience and is part of why I do drugs. They let me reassess myself sometimes.

And like I said, this was a pretty low dose. I was definitely all still here, it was just like mental thoughts and surreal images became, very real to me, as if visualizing them was much clearer and deeper than usual.

 

[JBrandon]

Ketamine afterglow; hopefully it got you over some kind of psychological block (anxiety) otherwise in two weeks you'll be feeling the same as before.

 

[thikal]

I think ketamine in low dose just give you a glimpse of what equanimity is and can be achieved by long term meditation.

I feel a little like you thatdreamer, when I have an oral test on university, 3 weeks before I start to have anxiety related and can't work anymore, do way less sport and reading and so on, motivation = 0 ... This greatly increase craving for dope, a bad and nasty circle because how I feel in everyday life is totally linked to the amount of work class I can do!

I'm aware that I don't suffer of depression at all, but think that I can (and you too) greatly beneficiate from the calming effect of ketamine in low dose, or better but harder, long term meditation practice. (sorry for my approximative English)